Sexual Orientation & Gender Identity Support Thread

[QueenCobra]

the answer to this whole bit is the answer to the bolded part - which is largely "yes"

the "male gaze" isn't just about finding women attractive, romantically or sexually. it's specifically about the objectification of women and how a lot of straight men see women as objects who exist solely to fulfil their sexual desires. women don't have the male gaze because it is a product of a patriarchal society's influence on how men see women.

so don't worry!

Thanks! A while ago I wrote a poem about liking women from a female perspective, and I thought it turned out pretty good as I’d put a lot of emotion into it. Then I vaguely heard about the whole “male gaze” thing and got a little worried, even though I made it obvious in the poem it was from a female perspective. But I’m relieved it’s really just about men.

 

[-Lumi-]

It's international lesbian day!!

10 years ago I wouldn't have even acknowledged the day or if I did it would've made me feel very guilty and gross. Present day though I am so incredibly happy that I am a lesbian.

Some aspects of life are still tricky and nerve wracking but I absolutely love my girlfriend, she makes me feel so happy and safe. I've come out to family members, coworkers, and friends which is such a huge step for me!

I wanted to share a happy memory to celebrate the day. In August when I was visiting @Saylor we went and saw Coraline in theatres. When we were leaving we were holding hands and this lady approached us. It's kind of nerve-wracking when that happens because you're not always sure of the person's intentions but she was  so sweet!! She complimented us and told us it made her so happy seeing us holding hands and being together in public. She didn't have to do that but I'm so thankful that she did.

 

[pancake2]

I didn’t even realize that was today omg but hey let’s go lesbians!!!!

 

[Neb]

Drat, I should've told my moms happy lesbian day back on the 8th. I think they would've appreciated hearing that.

Anyway, I'm back here again to revive the thread because I'm once again changing labels. I thought I was straight for a while, but over time telling myself that made me feel worse and worse and I realized I was lying to myself. After doing some research I decided to start referring to myself as finsexual, a sexuality related to bisexuality. Honestly I'm afraid of admitting to having this sexuality since it's kind of rejected in a lot of LGBTQ+ circles, but I'll talk about it anyway. I'm just going to copy the definition I found on Google:

"[Finsexuality is] The exclusive attraction to those who are feminine in nature (FIN). This means finsexual people are attracted to women, feminine aligned and/or feminine presenting non-binary people, and potentially feminine men."

I've been attracted to people who identify as men that have more feminine features and/or call themselves femboys and that's why I think calling myself straight isn't right. I talked to a few friends about it and they agreed the label fits me well.

 

[QueenCobra]

I know a lot of people are being invasive and speculating Shawn Mendes’ sexuality, which is absolutely terrible.

He said he’s still figuring it out, which I could relate to. In my early 20s, when I thought I knew myself, I had some times where I just didn’t know. Then I knew for a fact that while I am strongly attracted to men, my attraction to women is also there. One will not engulf the other— the yin and yang of my heart.

I think we should all be easier on each other. If someone is questioning, don’t rush them into coming out. To be an ally also means to give people space and time to learn about themselves.

 

[Captain Jigglypuff]

Who exactly is Shawn Mendes?

 

[QueenCobra]

Who exactly is Shawn Mendes?

He is a singer. Not a big fan, but I remember hearing he dated a female singer who was popular at the time. I think recently people were hounding him about him sexuality because of some song (I think?). Idk, I just think it’s ridiculous to accuse an actual person of “queerbaiting” or pressure them to come out.

I mean…I first started having feelings for girls as a teenager, but I didn’t know if it was “just a phase” or “curiosity” since I had always liked guys. I didn’t know how to define myself for a while, so I get what he’s saying. Unfortunately when you’re famous, people will over-analyze everything and nitpick about doing things the “right” way— even with something as fluid as sexuality.

 

[Suguri]

I was thinking about whether I should share this or not, and I figured now is a good time for me to try.

If I can't find a good orientation that best describes myself, that's okay with me, because either way I definitely feel queer. Maybe still omni, to be specific, but I’ve been questioning it again now.

Man, this can be so confusing sometimes. BUT, I'll find out who I am, eventually.

 

[xSuperMario64x]

so apparently my dad overheard me and my mum talking about me having top surgery, and ofc he's ****ed about it. I told her that it's none of his business anyway, and I don't care what he thinks.

but the thing is, there are a few things to consider. does he think that I've been brainwashed, and I can no longer think for myself? why does he want me to keep my chest so badly? it honestly disgusts me and I want it gone. and if he could crawl into my teen/adolescent mind, then he would understand that my chest has always made me feel uncomfortable. when I was younger I didn't know that binders and top surgery were a thing. I remember being 13 and wanting to wrap an Ace bandage around my chest to make it flat. now I'm an adult and I'm making choices for my own body so I can feel more comfortable, and my dad calls that "mutilation". also it makes me feel kind of uncomfortable that my dad is so concerned with whether or not I have breasts, I don't even know how to describe it.

the way I see it is that, he can't influence whether or not I do this, because it's something that I've considered for a long time now. so he can either be a good dad and support me and be happy for me, or he can be a ****head and make me feel like a horrible person. I'm inclined to believe the latter. and then he gets upset when my brother and I call him out for not being a good dad. I'm sorry but I think your definition of "unconditional love" is pretty ****ed.


anyway, my consultation with the surgeon is later next month and I'm very much looking forward to it

 

[Tude]

I'm glad your mind is so made up as to what you want! You're right to not let anyone stop you. I have two friends who've had the surgery and they're so glad they did it! They're so happy to have their body match who they are. May you heal quickly and painlessly!

 

[bestiepango]

Been searching for queer groups, events anything like that that's in my area and I feel like I'm losing my mind, there's just nothing. It feels so disheartening knowing there is other people like me here but I can't really connect w them :<

 

[xSuperMario64x]

I wish you all a solemn Transgender Day of Rememberance, honouring the lives of all the brothers and sisters and others whom we have lost