The Internet's Worst Advice Column

[Neb]

You gotta take a lace in each hand
You go over and under again
You make a loop de loop and pull
And your shoes are lookin' cool!

How do you exercise in your apartment without annoying your neighbors?

 

[Clock]

Cover all your window and buy sound proof material, simple as that.
How do I make a perfect sunny side up?

 

[Shellzilla_515]

Go to the sun and it’ll do it for you.

How to win an eating contest?

 

[pochy]

put one of those bike tire pump thingies in your mouth and keep pumping, it'll expand your stomach so you can have more space c:

how do i fix my broken 3ds screen?

 

[Clock]

Buy tape
How I can build a house?

 

[Midoriya]

Call Bob the Builder

How do I go skydiving properly?

 

[Dawnpiplup]

It ain't skydiving unless you physically jump out of a plane that's 10,000 feet in the air without a parachute.

Hey, what's the best way to get to know my college roommate?

 

[DarkDesertFox]

Go through their belongings and make sure to get a hold of their phone to go through their messages. How do I skip work without getting fired?

 

[Shellzilla_515]

Just tell them you need to go on a bathroom break.

How can I catch fish without losing patience?

 

[Clock]

Just fish with your hands, it’s faster.
How do I make coffee?

 

[Dawnpiplup]

Pour some coffee grounds into your mouth, then pour boiling water. Instead of stirring, just gurgle and swish it in your mouth.

How do I throw the best college party?

 

[Shellzilla_515]

Invade someone's mansion, throw out the owner of that mansion for one night, and go crazy from there.

My plants are withering. How can I nurse them back to good health?

 

[Ace Marvel]

Thrown them in a plastic pool, they will have enough water for life.

How do I add more mayo to my diet? I already eat 5 cups a day but it's not enough.

 

[Shellzilla_515]

I think you need to consult with Patrick that mayonnaise can be used as an instrument, as well as that you can eat it afterwards.

How do I get my smoke detector to stop falsely sounding the alarm?

 

[cannedcommunism]

yell louder to assert your dominance

how do I learn a language?

 

[Shellzilla_515]

Just read a book in a different language.

How can I set up my Nintendo Switch?

 

[Midoriya]

You got to smash it against a wall until it turns on.

How do I finish everything for the day in a reasonable amount of time?

 

[frogslime]

Put it off until the last minute until you're hit with adrenaline and panic, getting a 2 day project done in 2 hours.

How do I get out of bed in the morning?

 

[marshallows]

just take the bed with you.

how do get redd to show up on my secret beach more often?

 

[Xara]

delete your island

what should i make for dinner?