The Internet's Worst Advice Column

[axaniao]

Put some bricks on the back end and it should go up on its own

How to get rid of cramps

 

[Shellzilla_515]

Dump yourself into freezing water so you don’t feel anything.

How to care for an animal?

 

[Clock]

Learn about parenting
How do I swat flies?

 

[Shellzilla_515]

Call in the SWAT team.

How can I get creative?

 

[moonlightxo]

Turn on creative mode

How do I get better grades in school?

 

[Shellzilla_515]

Bribe your teachers to give you higher grades.

How can I cool myself down?

 

[Neb]

Pant like a dog.

How do I watch shows I’ve been putting off?

 

[Shellzilla_515]

Glue a TV screen to your eyes.

How to sneeze?

 

[Clock]

Look for dust and inhale it, so you can sneeze or use a feather,
How do I break a rock?

 

[Shellzilla_515]

Just eat a fruit lying on the ground and hit it with your bare hands.

How do I stop dogs barking at me?

 

[Zerous]

bark back at them and assert your dominance.

How can I get motivation to study?

 

[chocosongee]

Procrastinate to the last minute to force yourself to study

How do I bring myself to fall asleep early?

 

[Shellzilla_515]

Run around in circles to the point where you almost can't breathe due to extreme exhaustion.

How do I assert my dominance?

 

[Neb]

Do weights for several weeks and start a t-posing contest. The person you’re competing with will feel dominated by your strong arms.

How do I convince my neighbors that my music is quiet?

 

[Midoriya]

Play it really, really loudly for a couple weeks and then play it very quietly for a couple weeks to show them the difference.

How do I run faster?

 

[Clock]

Eat a lot of sugar, it makes you hyper which could help you run faster.
How do I clean a pet?

 

[frogslime]

Simply wash it in a bathtub and then proceed to put it in a microwave oven to dry it.

What should I do with my extra Ramune bottles?

 

[Neb]

Set them up like bowling pins and bowl with one of leftover marbles.

How do I use a library?

 

[Shellzilla_515]

Look at books and pretend that you're reading them.

What do I do if I have to face a villain?

 

[Midoriya]

Call me for help. We can take care of this. Who needs Captain America... or even Batman? Pshhht.

What do I do if I run out of money for the bus?