The Internet's Worst Advice Column

[Shellzilla_515]

Ask Spongebob. He’ll help you with that. How to butcher an animal?

 

[DarkDesertFox]

Read a book and the animal will butcher itself in the background. I want like 3 games, but I already bought a lot recently what do I do?

 

[Seastar]

Buy them anyway. You know you want to!

How would someone get over an obsession? Totally not asking for myself.

 

[xSuperMario64x]

Basically what ya gotta do is just let yourself go wild, just obsess over it so much that you eventually get bored with it. Then you can move onto something else!

I really want to buy a bunch of Super Mario plushes but they're so pricey!! What do??

 

[axaniao]

Buy them anyway! Plushies >>> Stable finances couldn't remember what word to use

How can I stop being so clumsy?

 

[Shellzilla_515]

You can’t be clumsy if you don’t do anything. How can I go to other planets in our solar system?

 

[Midoriya]

Easy. Attach a bunch of balloons to your house like in Up and float to the planets.

How do I feed some birds?

 

[*The Oakboro Mayor*]

Easy. You throw a piece of bread at it and the bird will do the rest.

How do I turn on my tv?

 

[Midoriya]

Keep whacking it with a wrench. Give it a good hard smack like Guzma from Pokémon would.

How do I feed a squirrel?

 

[applesauc3]

Keep whacking it with a wrench. Give it a good hard smack like Guzma from Pokémon would.

How do I feed a squirrel?

Definitely go up to it and scream AHHHHHHH I HAVE FOOOOD so he knows loud and clear

how do I make coffee?

 

[xSuperMario64x]

Just take a bunch of coffee beans and throw them into a pot of boiling water. Presto.

How do I get Nintendo to add the Waluigi hat into NH?

 

[Shellzilla_515]

Hold them hostage in a secret room and tie them up until they finally do it.

How to paint my house?

 

[axaniao]

Throw a bucket of paint at it

How to get over my obsession/addiction to this forum?

 

[Clock]

Throw your main source (Phone or computer) of addiction in the water or on the cliff so you won't be addicted anymore.
How do I make an amazing sandwich?

 

[Shellzilla_515]

Just stuff your bread silly with tons of toppings and sauces and you should be able to experience the best sandwich you've ever eaten.

How do I make a wheelie with a car?

 

[shayminskyforme88]

You need a car which is pretty heavy on the rear then stomp on that throttle.

My parents believe in a lot of conspiracy theories they find on social media. How do I make them snap out of it?

 

[Shellzilla_515]

Delete their accounts.

How can I make bread?

 

[Lavamaize]

Search

www.allrecipes.com

How should I decide on what I want in my ACNH island?

 

[Shellzilla_515]

Easy. Just let your villagers give you random furniture and it should fit your theme. You'll thank me later.

How do I grow a tree to full size in three days?

 

[Clock]

Buy lots of fertilizer and time travel if possible
How do I tie my shoes?