The Internet's Worst Advice Column

[pottercrossing]

set a weight goal, then starve yourself until your reach it.

how do i become more attractive?

 

[ZeldaCrossing64]

Bring an ugly friend with you when you're in public; Use the power of comparison, my friend.

How do I feel motivated to do my homework?

 

[NovariusHaze]

Higher a sniper to kill you unless you finish your homework on time.

How do I become famous?

 

[Midoriya]

Fam, if you want to become ous, here's how you do it.

1) You take the acronym "IOU"
2) Remove the "I"
3) Add an "S"

congrats, you are now "OUS," fam.

How do I sleep better?

 

[Shellzilla_515]

Just glue your eyes shut. Now you won't wake up in the middle of the night! Make sure you wake up early to wash it off, though.

How can I stop being so dehydrated?

 

[Violet Witch]

By permanently living under the sea.

How do I make the most of my weekends?

 

[Xara]

sleep through them.

how do i stop feeling hungry?

 

[-Blue-]

Print out images of food, color them with scented markers, and then proceed to smell/eat the paper.

How can I get out of babysitting?

 

[ZeldaCrossing64]

Yeet the child. Nobody will want to hire you again!

I need more money to buy books and I don't have a job.

 

[ForestFox]

Get a job then.

How do I stop getting yelled at about my grades?

 

[ZeldaCrossing64]

Plagirize or cheat from a smart kid so you'll get good marks.

How do I drink coffee without needing to use the bathroom five minutes later?

 

[ForestFox]

Take the pills that stop potty problems.

How do I become better than the smart kid?

 

[-Blue-]

Make the smart kid miss the bus.

By the way, that's a neat avatar. I don't know who they are or what series they are from, but I like the style.

How do I get rid of the snow on my driveway?

 

[ZeldaCrossing64]

(Damn, I replied to the wrong comment. XD)

Melt it with a flamethrower.

How do I stop myself from chewing my nails?

 

[ForestFox]

Make your nails taste like Pennies.

How to hide a body of a well known kid?

 

[ZeldaCrossing64]

Mutiliate their face like a rabid wolf till it's past the point of recognition, then bury it on the moon.

How do I deal with my annoying brother?

 

[ForestFox]

Make him hide in the basement until he apologizes for being a jerk.

How do I hide a suspicious looking garbage bag in the trash without my neighbors thinking it’s weird?

 

[ZeldaCrossing64]

Pull out whatever's in the garbage bag to make them faint, then they won't think it's weird 'cause they're unconscious.

How do I make my vocabulary not sound so much like a cranky villager?

 

[Millysaurusrexjr]

Instead of speaking Animalese, begin speaking English, or any other language.

How do I get myself to enjoy playing FFXIV?

 

[Xara]

put it down and play another game instead.

how do i fall asleep before the sun rises?