The Internet's Worst Advice Column

[ZeldaCrossing64]

Make a flash game using Adobe Flash during a thunderstorm when you see a flash of lightning. Take a picture with the flash option, and send it to The Flash.

My step-mom is cooking bacon and the smell is nauseating, help?

 

[Aneesh1729]

force her to eat molten gold or give her bamboo torture until she stops cooking bacon.

i can't think of another question to ask here, help?

 

[Midoriya]

Don't think. Just do everything without thinking.

How do I become interested in more hobbies?

 

[Xara]

drop all your hobbies and have no hobbies whatsoever. you’ll become so bored that you’ll become interested in literally anything.

how do i recover from my wisdom teeth removal surgery faster?

 

[Celine]

By embracing the folly and accepting that you've now lost all wisdom along with the teeth.

How do I start waking up earlier?

 

[ZeldaCrossing64]

Stay up all night until it's the time you want to wake up. You'll never have to worry about being late!

How can I tell if I have covid or just a simple cold?

 

[TurnipBell20]

Cough three times, turn around and sneeze. The voice in your head will tell you.

How can I stop being so impatient?

 

[amemome]

try these steps to cure your impatient tendencies:

1. grab a slice of cheese. any kind, any brand. i recommend american style cheese.
2. grab two slices of bread. any kind works but let's just say try basic white bread.
3. now grab a stick of butter.
4. get a frypan or griddle and turn on the stove. keep the heat kinda low once you get the pan hot.
5. rub the stick of butter on the pan so all the bottom gets covered in butter.
6. put the two slices of bread on the hot pan and let the butter brown and crisp up the side. once one side has become crisp, remove slices to a plate briefly. butter the pan again and toast the other side of the bread.
7. while the other side is toasting, put your slice of cheese on one of the breads.
8. when the cheese starts to get a bit melty, put the other slice of bread on top and lightly press with a spatula.
9. move the grilled cheese to a plate and enjoy!

what should I wear tomorrow?

 

[Midoriya]

A shining suit of armor that knights usually wore.

How do I sleep better?

 

[k e r f u f f l e]

Hold your breath until you pass out. Works like a charm.

What's the best way to escape a country?

 

[ravenclaw_equestrian]

Ride a flying horse.

How do I stop procrastinating?

 

[NovariusHaze]

Procrastinate procrastinating.

How do I make tacos?

 

[ZeldaCrossing64]

Buy some tacos from a restaurant, bring it home, separate all the ingredients, and put it back together.

How do I learn to like orange juice?

 

[nightglow]

The Orange Juice Cleanse. Nothing but Orange Juice for 2 weeks.

How do I build a campfire?

 

[Midoriya]

Set some trees on fire using your lighter. Make sure the fire spreads!

How do I blow up the moon?

 

[ZeldaCrossing64]

Play Oath to Order on your ocarina to summon the four giants. They'll hold up the moon for you so it doesn't crash down on Termina, then you can use a rocket or something to blow it up.

I caught covid. How do I deal with my terrible fate of pain and discomfort?

 

[k e r f u f f l e]

First of all, I'm sorry to hear that!

Go to a remote location in the depths of the South African rainforests to pursue an ancient Aztec cure!

How do I stop our dog from bothering the house cat?

 

[ZeldaCrossing64]

Dress up the cat in a dog costume.

I'm hungry but I don't feel like cooking. TwT

 

[NovariusHaze]

Make your neighbor cook for you.

How do I buy a house?

 

[Millysaurusrexjr]

Step 1. Save up some Bell Tree Forum Currency (TBT)
Step 2. Buy one of these collectibles

Step 3: Congratulations, you are now a proud owner of a house... On TBT!

How do I overcome social anxiety?