The Internet's Worst Advice Column

[Neb]

Go into a crowd and force yourself to talk to every person you see.

How do I make my puppy quit play biting me?

 

[-Blue-]

Make your skin taste super gross. Slather spicy paste all over.

How do I get my kitten to eat?

 

[Shellzilla_515]

Just stuff them silly with whatever you think is good for them!

How do I get myself banned from this forum? This is obviously a joke.

 

[ZeldaCrossing64]

Tell a TBT staff a 'yo mama' joke. Either that, or Ankha Zone.

How do I feel motivated to do my schoolwork?

 

[VanitasFan26]

Just do the work in school as long as the teachers are not looking.

How to survive life?

 

[ZeldaCrossing64]

Turn on creative mode and give yourself a set of diamond armor.

How do I learn to not curse?

 

[ravenclaw_equestrian]

Perform surgery on a mantis shrimp to raise its intelligence to a level where it knows to strike you every time you curse.

How do I survive?

 

[-Blue-]

First you must enter survival mode. Where everything is 100x harder. Step on a lego piece? Gameover!

How do I get people to buy my vegetables?

 

[Shellzilla_515]

Threaten them by pointing a carrot at their forehead like a gun. That should convince them to buy your stuff!

How do I get more vitamins?

 

[ZeldaCrossing64]

Eat 20 pounds of Flintstones vitamin gummies till you start to feel sick. That's how you'll know it's working!

My bus will be here in 10 minutes and I'm not even dressed. What do I do?

 

[Shellzilla_515]

Cause traffic so the bus will be delayed. Just throw some large objects on the road and it should be fine!

How do I keep plants from dying?

 

[Midoriya]

Plant weeds and poisonous plants next to it.

How do I eat BIG potato?

 

[TurnipBell20]

Make BIG potato multiple SMALL potato, lol.

How can I stop drinking so much coke?

 

[Shellzilla_515]

Just keep on drinking to the point that you get sick of it.

How do I start painting for the first time?

 

[VanitasFan26]

Just get a piece of paper, paint cans, and a paintbrush. Thats all you need.

How to get rid of negativity?

 

[pottercrossing]

delete the word negativity from the post

how to ease anxiety before a show?

 

[Neb]

Imagine all of the faces in the audience staring at the stage, unflinchingly.

How do I get better at texting?

 

[Neb]

I’ll give myself some bad advice because why not. Dump all of your secrets on every person you speak to.

How do I read more during the day.

 

[-Blue-]

Read less during the night

Why can't Metroid crawl?

 

[ravenclaw_equestrian]

yes

how do I stop waking up at 6am anyway when I finally get a chance to sleep in?