The Internet's Worst Advice Column

[Zinnia.]

stay up all night! that way you don't have to worry about waking up too early since you'll already be awake.

How do i stop my local grocery store from selling only green bananas?

 

[VanitasFan26]

Just keep buying normal bananas and maybe they will stop.

How do you avoid buying expensive stuff?

 

[ZeldaCrossing64]

Steal it. You won't have to waste your money!

How do I stop myself from spinning on the office chair? I swear it's a dumb habit I do every single time.

 

[Kitsuragi]

glue your feet to the ground. can't spin if you're stuck in place.

how do i decide what to have for lunch?

 

[Midoriya]

Go on the game show "Wheel of Fortune" and have them replace the wheel options with menu options.

How do I care about things more?

 

[Millysaurusrexjr]

Print out or write the word "things" on a piece of paper. Put it in your wallet or your pocket and bring it everywhere with you. Take it out each time you are having breakfast, lunch, or dinner. Talk to it, make it feel included. Give it its own pillow and blanket. Teach it about the world, about anime, about economics, mathematics, history, etc. Ask it how it's feeling. Tell it you care about them.

How should I go about befriending the crows and magpies in my area?

 

[Midoriya]

Print out or write the word "things" on a piece of paper. Put it in your wallet or your pocket and bring it everywhere with you. Take it out each time you are having breakfast, lunch, or dinner. Talk to it, make it feel included. Give it its own pillow and blanket. Teach it about the world, about anime, about economics, mathematics, history, etc. Ask it how it's feeling. Tell it you care about them.

How should I go about befriending the crows and magpies in my area?

LMAOOOOO, this is the best reply anyone could have ever come up with.

Talk to Qrow Branwen from RWBY and have him turn into a crow, and then have him talk to the crows and magpies and tell them to be your friend in crow language.

How do I stay on a consistent sleep schedule?

 

[NovariusHaze]

Never wake up so you are always sleeping when you’re supposed to.

How do I get rich?

 

[-Blue-]

Buy a bunch of rich food. Eat only that. Profit?

How to stop the rabbits from eating my gardens?

 

[ravenclaw_equestrian]

Get rid of the gardens.

How do I do well at my horse show tomorrow?

 

[SinnerTheCat]

Sell your soul to an entity of your choosing for the win

What should I do to remember to drink more water throughout the day?

 

[Shellzilla_515]

Go swimming in a lake! You can drink water from there.

How do I bake a cake?

 

[pottercrossing]

U find a recipe and follow it

How do I come out to my family as LGBTQ+?

 

[Neb]

Order a cake saying your identity and leave it in the fridge until your family finds it. Once they inevitably ask who bought the cake say it was you.

How do I make studying fun?

 

[Gene.]

Listen to multiple audiobooks, so it downs out every word you read!

How do I make an omelet?

 

[Neb]

Ask Norm the Genie from Fairly Odd Parents to make you an omelet and he should have it ready to be eaten off the sidewalk.

How do I take the best possible photo for the TBT urban legend competition?

 

[Captain Jigglypuff]

You Smash your camera with a baseball bat.

What do I do with a hamster cage?

 

[ZeldaCrossing64]

Put on a hamster suit and crawl inside.

How do I make hamburgers?

 

[Captain Jigglypuff]

You go to McDonald’s, naturally!

Where can I find a pen?

 

[-Blue-]

Just walk into the bank and take the pen chain-linked to the counter. You might have bring a pair of sharp pliers. Be careful not to have the shrapnel hit you in the face. That's really dangerous. So wear a ski-mask.

I don't want to work tomorrow?