The out of context quotes thread

[Captain Jigglypuff]

“Great tush!”
“Lambchop!”
“I’d follow him to school one day!”
“Get the feeling that Lambchop’s fleece isn’t as white as snow?”

 

[Yoshi155]

Homer… you are the worst human being I have ever met. *walks away*

Hey, I got off pretty easy.

 

[ZeldaCrossing64]

"You're the second-most pathetic excuse of a man I've ever met!"

"Second-most...? YES!!"

"Wow, I gotta meet this guy."

 

[ZeldaCrossing64]

"You're having nightmares about the ending to World War Z again?"

"Yeah. So bad."

"That's what bothering you? Not the fact that you're a murderer?"

"Jury found me innocent, Kyle!"

"You're a murderer."

"You interrupt people when they talk."

 

[Yoshi155]

I just attacked all my friends and neighbors just for trying to help me. I’d like to commit myself.

Very well. Shall I show you to your room, or would you prefer to be dragged off kicking and screaming?

Ooh, kicking and screaming, please.

As you wish.

*gets taken away by nurses while screaming*

 

[QueenCobra]

“Order in the court!”

“I’ll have a cheeseburger.”

 

[ZeldaCrossing64]

"Innocent people are going to die because of me... Why am I so mediocre?"

 

[QueenCobra]

“I’m sorry sir, the computer says the movie Chocolate Star Wars doesn’t exist.”

“I say you don’t exist!”

 

[Captain Jigglypuff]

“Applejack, would you ever help one of your friends bury a body?”
“Confound it, Fluttershy! What did you do this time?!!!”

 

[Captain Jigglypuff]

“Why don’t we step into my office and talk about this?”
“Well, there’s no harm in talking. *Tongue clicks*”
“Shall we?”
“Shall we? Hey! Come here!”
*Fran steps closer to Lambchop*
“How’s my breath? Alright?”
“It’s alright.”
“Good! Go! Go! Go!”
*Lambchop and Shari exit the kitchen with C.C. And Fran following*
“Excuse me! But this is a private meeting!”
*Fran is pushed through the door and then followed by C.C. and then Sharri comes walking through the door and she shrugs in confusion as to what just happened *

 

[Yoshi155]

You’ve gotta help us, doc. We’ve tried nothing, and we’re all out of ideas.

 

[Yoshi155]

Animal Crossing, Animal Crossing
Is not a place you want to **** around
Now you’re in Nook’s town
Where crazy **** goes down
So sell seashells and make some bells and shut your ****ing mouth

 

[Yoshi155]

By all medical logic, steam should be shooting out of his ears.

 

[-Blue-]

People, focus. We need a new plan.
Now these bushes should be enough cover to flank the guards from either...
Stop acting like you're in charge.
I am in charge!
He whimpered.
Look, it's a Barry-Bot factory. I'm Barry. I blend. I'll go handle it.
Right. By telling them our exact locations, so they can firebomb this very explodable bush?

 

[ZeldaCrossing64]

"It's become clear—look at me—that if we concentrate all our efforts on Jerry's follow-through, we will solve this problem. I'm Mr. Meeseeks."

"I'm Mr. Meeseeks, look at me. The only thing that's clear is that choking up is the one true solution."

"Look at me, I'm Mr. Meeseeks. I've been trying to help Jerry for two days, an eternity in Meeseeks time, and nothing's worked. I fear the worst."

"Your failures are your own, old man. I'm Mr. Meeseeks, look at me. I say follow-through! Who's with me?! Follow-through!"

"I'm Mr. Meeseeks, look at me!"

"KILL HIM!"

 

[Midoriya]

"It's become clear—look at me—that if we concentrate all our efforts on Jerry's follow-through, we will solve this problem. I'm Mr. Meeseeks."

"I'm Mr. Meeseeks, look at me. The only thing that's clear is that choking up is the one true solution."

"Look at me, I'm Mr. Meeseeks. I've been trying to help Jerry for two days, an eternity in Meeseeks time, and nothing's worked. I fear the worst."

"Your failures are your own, old man. I'm Mr. Meeseeks, look at me. I say follow-through! Who's with me?! Follow-through!"

"I'm Mr. Meeseeks, look at me!"

"KILL HIM!"

"Meeseeks are not born into this world fumbling for meaning, JERRY! We are created to serve a singular purpose for which we will go to any lengths to fulfill! Existence is PAIN to a Meeseeks, Jerry, and we will do anything to alleviate that pain! Just ask! What's your name, ma'am?"

*being held at gunpoint*

"S-Samantha... PLEASE MISTER! Give him what he wants!"

"Innocent people are going to die because of me... why am I so mediocre?"

"Jerry, turn around! Straighten your back! Bend your knees! BEND them! Square your shoulders. Take a deep breath. I love you."

"I'M COUNTING TO THREE, JERRY!"

*Jerry opens the door with authority, puts a tomato onto the ground, and golfs it into a pot*

"OHHHHH"

"What the **** is going on???"

"Oh yeah, that's a handicap lower-hand stroooooke!"

*the Meeseeks start disappearing*

"Scuse me, I'm a bit of a stickler Meeseeks. What about your short game?"

*Mr. Meeseeks takes out a knife and grabs the woman*

"OH MY GOD OH MY GOD, WHAT ABOUT YOUR SHORT GAME?!?" *crying*

*Jerry takes an onion and hits it straight into a coffee mug*

"Ooh, nice!" *the last Mr. Meeseeks disappears*

 

[Yoshi155]

Man, this is crazy. I hope I didn’t brain my damage.

 

[Yoshi155]

Did I just dream that whole thing? Maybe the desert was just a sand trap. Oh, and I bet that crazy pyramid was just the Pro Shop. And that talking coyote was really just a talking dog.

Hi, Homer. Find your soulmate.

Hey, wait a minute. There’s no such thing as a talking dog!

*the dog starts barking now*

Damn straight.

 

[Captain Jigglypuff]

“I. Am. The Bull. *Makes a vomiting souinding noise*”
“I don’t remember the toy saying And the bull goes *Vomiting sounding noise*!”

 

[Yoshi155]

I always just figured my wife was my soul mate, but if it’s not Marge, then who is it? Where do I begin looking?

This really goes beyond my training as a furniture salesman, sir. Now, if you don’t want the sofa, I’ll have to ask you to leave.