The out of context quotes thread

[Yoshi155]

I saw this in a movie about a bus that had to “speed” around the city, keeping its “speed” over 50, and if its “speed” dropped, it would explode. I think it was called “The Bus That Couldn’t Slow Down.”

 

[QueenCobra]

“I don't see you out there walking children in nature.”

 

[ZeldaCrossing64]

"Is it a right to remain ignorant?"

"I don't know, but I refuse to find out!"

 

[Yoshi155]

38, 39, 40 quarters! This better be good! *takes one step*

Game over. Please deposit 40 quarters.

 

[-Blue-]

38, 39, 40 quarters! This better be good! *takes one step*

Game over. Please deposit 40 quarters.

Had to look that one up. I was pretty sure it was Simpsons. Sounded like their type of humor. They predicted dlc and microtransactions before they were a thing. I don't know whether to be impressed or sad.

 

[ZeldaCrossing64]

"Outta my way, losers! I have a way with bucking mechanical things..." (In a low, sultry tone) "Hey, baby. I'm Bender."

 

[Captain Jigglypuff]

“I don’t know how to write so I drew a bunny.”

 

[Yoshi155]

Oh, it was awful. They set me on a cold metal table, and prodded me with humiliating probes, and… oh, wait, that was my physical.

 

[Captain Jigglypuff]

“Amy, you’ll need to wear a monkey suit.”
“All I have are marmoset pajamas.”
“That will have to do.”

 

[Yoshi155]

Look at this, Scully. There’s been another unsubstantiated UFO sighting in the heartland of America. We’ve got to get there right away.

Well, gee, Mulder, there’s also this report of a shipment of drugs and illegal weapons coming into New Jersey tonight.

*scoffs* I hardly think the FBI’s concerned with matters like that.

 

[Yoshi155]

This is a simple lie detector. I’ll ask you a few yes or no questions, and you just answer truthfully. Do you understand?

Yes.

*the lie detector explodes*

 

[ZeldaCrossing64]

"Mm, this dinner you fixed is delicious, honey. What is it?"

"It's dog food. And don't call me 'honey'."

 

[QueenCobra]

“I’ve been aware of the killer since birth.”

 

[Yoshi155]

All right, Homer, we want you to recreate your every move the night you saw this alien.

Well, the evening began at the gentlemen’s club, where we were discussing Wittgenstein over a game of backgammon.

Mr. Simpson, it’s a felony to lie to the FBI.

We were sitting in Barney’s car eating packets of mustard, you happy?

 

[Suguri]

Welcome to the White House. You're not allowed to go inside unless you have a tour.

But people must take a tour of the White House of Washington!

Alright. You can come in.

*2000 years later*

What is this!? I'm in the future! You should never take over the future with me! Stop giving me lots of advice! You're not perfect as it were, Mr. Beanson! Take me back to the present! 2000 years have been arrived, the Washington White House is now a black house! Dr. Beanson, please bring me back in the past!

 

[Captain Jigglypuff]

*Dummy jumps out of the box and starts stabbing the air with the knife he’s holding *
“Kill! Kill! KIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIILLLLLL! Kill kill!”
“Aw he’s cute! Can we keep him?”
“Yeah can we?”
“Yeah I guess that’ll be okay. I’m uh going to the diner for however long whatever is going to happen next takes. Remember if anything happens, you can’t call for help because I just cut the line. *Frylock takes out a pocketknife and cuts the phone line* Later haters.”
*Frylock leaves*
“Where should we keep him?”
“How about up here? *Meatwad pointing to a shelf on the wall* He can’t get down from there.”

 

[Yoshi155]

Oh, Marge, I’ve never felt so alone. No one believes me. …uh, this is the part where you’re supposed to say “I believe you, Homer.”

I don’t believe you, Homer.

You do? Oh, Marge, you’ve made me so happy!

 

[Mr.Fox]

‘Baboons to the left of me! Baboons to the right! The speeding locomotive tore through a sea of inhuman fangs! Two great apes rose up at me but BIFF! BAM! I sent them flying like two haairy footballlls!’

 

[QueenCobra]

“You know Halloween’s not my favorite thing, because I always feel as though that’s a free pass for the killer.”

 

[Yoshi155]

It’s such a beautiful night. How about a ghost story?

(Later)

…and that’s how much college will cost for Maggie.

No! No! Nooooooo!