The out of context quotes thread

"I'm starting to think there's no way out of here."
"Don't worry. You know what they always say: when one door closes..."
"...choose a nearby wall and bash it in with brute force!"
 
"It's time for your favorite game show! THREE... TWO... ONE... HOLE IN THE WALL!!!"
"Oh my GOSH, that gurl is NOT going to fit in that hole. :LOL:"
 
"You drive like a lunatic!"
"Hey, I shaved three hours off of the GPS estimate. How about a thank you for that?"
 
"Ouch, my head, bro. I have a massive headache."
"Oh yeah? Are you going to be okay?"
"I don't know, bro. Feels like my head is about to Beyblade Beyblade Burst!"
"Oh ****, bro. Just hang in there. I'm calling an ambulance!"
"It's too late, the bey has been bladed! Let it riiiiiippp!"
 
"Aren't you sugar and spice and everything nice?"
"Well, aren't you rudeness, and sarcasm, and everything... Oh..."
"No, go on. You find something that rhymes with sarcasm and makes sense, and I'll take the fall this time."
 
"You read my diary?"
"At first I didn't know it was your diary. I thought it was a very sad handwritten book."
 
Some things I've said while playing Wii Sports Resort:

"Wait, I think that's the real Elisa."
"You're really testing me, Tommy."
"Greg! Stop hitting your balls so hard!"
^ (I was talking about the ping-pong balls, haha.)
"I'll try not to throw my Wii remote this time, I promise."
"Zero points?! Man, I suck. Either that or I just don't care anymore."
 
"Two-to-four... Two, four, six, eight, who's that guy in front I hate? HIROSHI!"

"I added eight new Miis then removed six because they were CPU Miis from this game. WHERE IS BEEF BOSS?!"

...I say the oddest things when I'm playing Wii Sports Resort. XD
 
"This is a mistake."
"A mistake we’re gonna laugh about someday."
"But not today."
"Oh, no. Today’s gonna be a mess."
 
"I learned some very valuable lessons from this."
"I’m guessing they are all horrible distortions on the lessons you actually should’ve taken away."
"Death isn’t real, and I’m basically God."
 
"mmm mmm cotton candy... so good... *munching*"
"AMERICAN IDOLLLLLLLLLL-"
"Omgieeee you have cotton candy?"
"no, personal space stay away from the candy"
*Steals cotton candy and starts eating it*
*Slaps into the wall and takes back cotton candy*
"Stay in the corner and don't turn around and look at the cotton candy or I'll beat you up again"
*Slowly gets closer while looking at the wall*
"I'LL KILL YOU!"
"With what?"
*holds out Mickey Mouse* "MICKEY MOUSE IN THE HOUSE!" *Mickey Mouse snips scissors aggressively*
"Here take the stinking cotton candy Mickey!"
"Great, that wasn't the plan Mickey Mouse was suppose to steal the cotton candy for me..."
 
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