The out of context quotes thread

[-Mars-]

"AUTO EMOJI I WILL KILL YOU!!!"
- my close friend when websites automatically turn his emoticons into emojis

 

[BakaRina]

"You really dropped everything and came all this way for me? How did you get here so fast?"
"Several traffic violations."
"Three counts of resisting arrest."
"Roughly thirteen cans of energy drinks."
"Also, that’s not our car."

 

[ZeldaCrossing64]

"Please! There's also some bad news..."
"Bea Arthur's putting out a swimsuit calendar?"
"She IS? Of course not, no."

 

[-Mars-]

"Welcome to Walmart!"
"How much air do you have?'
"I don't know how to read..."
*laughs nervously and runs away from them*
"Sorry about that, my Walmart employees can be a bit... much"
"Anyways how can I help you out today?"
"I'd like to buy a bottle of water please..."
"Water? Okay... I can sell you all of the drinks Walmart has for... $2.70 how does that sound?"
"No thank you"
*attempts to leave Walmart without buying anything*
"Oh okay... wait, WHAT?!? SECURITY GET HIM!"
"PAY YOUR TAXES! PAY YOUR FEES! PAY FOR SHIPPING HANDLING! PAY FOR BREATHING AIR! PAY ME PAY ME RIGHT NOW!"
"What!?!? I swear I didn't buy anything! Let me OOOOOUUUUTTTT!!"

 

[BakaRina]

"For the love of god, please turn down that music. I have a hangover."
Blasting the mii theme at full volume: That sounds like a you problem, not a mii problem."

 

[ZeldaCrossing64]

"Hello, nurse. Hello, nurse."
"HELLOOO, DOCTOR!"
"Forceps?"
"Check."
"Scalpel?"
"Check."
"Cheque?"
"Check."
"Healthcare! American styyyle."

 

[xSuperMario64x]

"I wonder if the Addams family had an Adam computer?"

 

[AppleBitterCrumble]

"One time I snorted rice as a kid."

- me to my friend

 

[Midoriya]

"Alright, everybody, make sure to collect your 200 Robux, do NOT pass go, and let's get ready to RUMMMMMMMMBLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLEEE!!"
"What?"

 

[ZeldaCrossing64]

"Abby, I... I really, really swear to god here."
(Abby catches the ball)
"AAABBYYYYYYYYY!!! STOOOOOOOP!!! YOU'RE TORTURING MEEE!!!"

 

[xSuperMario64x]

"he is a floating torso who is constantly scratching his armpits, and yet he has no legs." - SwankyBox

 

[Kirbyz]

"we can call now if you want" - my cuz

"lets call sorry was pittong earphones on kinda hard wotj anola"
"nails"
"omg wtf elojiss"
"im done"
- me

 

[ZeldaCrossing64]

-"This is beautiful right here, Elisa's arm is gonna turn into spaghetti."

-"Way to go, baseball bat! You got a home run! Against Yoko, a Pro-ko!"

-"STOOOOOOOOOOOOP DOING THAAAT!"

-"I'm just gonna go fall down my stairs now."

 

[xSuperMario64x]

-"STOOOOOOOOOOOOP DOING THAAAT!"

I heard this one in the depths of my soul

 

[AppleBitterCrumble]

That stupid piece of fur (that I love)
POSSESSED EGBERT AND MADe HIM WEAR THE SNO-CONE TEE.

I. Hate. Egbert.
I should just eat him.
The shirt looks ugly on him.
Tommm why do you influence people so much? Why?!

^ this quote from one of the old threads I created in 2013 made me cry laughing (I was 13 at the time plz don't judge)

 

[Midoriya]

"He's finally back,
to enlighten your minds,
he's got a real nice big and interesting behind,
he's smart,
he'll read to you,
and even bedtime stories too,
HE'S THE 6,000TH MEMBER OF THE D.K. CREW!
DIDDYDONDIDDYDONDONDIDDYDIDDYDON KONG!
DIDDYDONDIDDYDONDONDIDDYDIDDYDON KONG IS HERE!
DIDDYDONDIDDYDONDONDIDDYDIDDYDON KONG!
DIDDYDONDIDDYDONDONDIDDYDIDDYDON KONG IS HERE!

...

Alright guys, I think we have too many crew members now."

 

[-Mars-]

"It was a dark and stormy night and suddenly thunder rang out"
"Hey sorry I'm late Wi-Fi was crashing, so how you doing?"
"Good, anything cool happen lately?"
"Yeah"
"[name] touched grass the other day"
"Dang"
"How does he do it?"
"Like isn't grass sharp tho?"
"Yeah"
"I hope more people are like him and touch grass one day"
---
"I was at this homeschool park event once and I hijacked some girl's bluetooth speaker to play this one anime song"
"She turned it off tho "
"Dang, that no fun"
"Smh kids these days..."
- An extremely random conversation between my close friends

 

[ZeldaCrossing64]

"See, a side-arm pitcher? Not happenin'. Side-arm pitchers shouldn't even be allowed... To live." -Poofesure

 

[ZeldaCrossing64]

 

[xSuperMario64x]

Wii Sports: "F"

Poofesure: "I agree."