The out of context quotes thread

[rocketspruggs]

"What's happening to me? Okay, retrace your steps...woke up, fought with Marge, ate Guatemalan insanity peppers, then I...oh, where am I, Shelbyville? [screaming] Man, this is crazy...I hope I didn't brain my damage, I better check my pupils."

[snake hisses at Homer]

"Oh...kay, I think I'm going to be leaving now...huh? Sunrise, sunset...sunrise, sunset...sunrise, sunset, sunrise, sunset, sunrise, sunset, sunrise... [screaming] Note to self, stop doing anything."

 

[Yoshi155]

Don’t ask why I know that off the top of my head. There’s nothing wrong with me.

 

[Captain Jigglypuff]

“GET ON THE [DARN] BUS!”
“NO! WE AREN’T GETTING ON THE [DARN] BUS!!!!”
“WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY TO ME?!”
“I SAID WE AREN’T GETTING ON THE [DARN] BUS!!!!!!”
“Oh. Okay.”
*Ms Crabtree shuts the bus door and drives off leaving the Boys behind*
“I’ve always wondered what would happen if I said that.”

 

[QueenCobra]

“Stanley, Stanley, Barack is president! YOU ARE BLACK, STANLEY! I’m gonna give him mouth-to-mouth.”

 

[ShadowLelouch97]

"For god sake He's ten, he's barely old enough to smoke"

 

[Yukari Yakumo]

“The reason that the rich were so rich, Vimes reasoned, was because they managed to spend less money.

Take boots, for example. He earned thirty-eight dollars a month plus allowances. A really good pair of leather boots cost fifty dollars. But an affordable pair of boots, which were sort of OK for a season or two and then leaked like hell when the cardboard gave out, cost about ten dollars. Those were the kind of boots Vimes always bought, and wore until the soles were so thin that he could tell where he was in Ankh-Morpork on a foggy night by the feel of the cobbles.

But the thing was that good boots lasted for years and years. A man who could afford fifty dollars had a pair of boots that'd still be keeping his feet dry in ten years' time, while the poor man who could only afford cheap boots would have spent a hundred dollars on boots in the same time and would still have wet feet.

This was the Captain Samuel Vimes 'Boots' theory of socioeconomic unfairness.”

 

[Captain Jigglypuff]

“I’m undead, not evil!”

 

[QueenCobra]

“The principles that I'm applying to the office are the same ones that made Lady Gaga a star. Or any number of drag queens.“

 

[Shawna]

“I don’t know. Let me look it up.”
“DO CUPCAKES HAVE LEGS?!?!”

 

[Kirbyz]

"i went to go get a pizza from my favourite pizza spot but then they started playing really loud music and the lead singer stood on my pizza pie"
"the lead guitarist kept taking swigs of my drink and saying, "you're cool with mono, right?" i am not?"
"THE DRUMMER SPIT IN MY EYES, IT BURNS!"

 

[xSuperMario64x]

"what have they got? a lot of sand?

we've got a hot crustacean band!"

 

[xSuperMario64x]

*about to fight the Whomp King, suddenly teleports back to the beginning of the level*

"DUDE CAN I JUST BEAT THE ****ING ROCK??!?!"

 

[Yoshi155]

All right, gambling in a kids game! Gotta get them addicted young.

 

[QueenCobra]

“Who’d want to buy sausages from a man that played around with married women?”

 

[Captain Jigglypuff]

“How did you get so much money, Trekkie Monster?”
“Me sold all my friends’ personal data to marketing companies!”

 

[Captain Jigglypuff]

*Larry and Barbara are beside their father’s hospital bed and Barbara’s hair looks like it’s floating upwards. Their father is gripping the side bars of his bed really hard.*
“You gotta stay with us, Daddy. Ol’ Neighbor Joe made you a puddin’.”
*Neighbor Joe comes walking towards the window upside down*
“This meringue is lighter than air.”
*Joe sets the pie down on the window upside down and then leaves*
“Ohhhhh! I’m going! I’m going!”
“Hold on, Pa!”
*Father starts talking in a restrained voice*
“I really don’t think I can hold on any longer! I love you Barbara!”
“I love you, Daddy!”
“I love you, Larry!”
“I love you, Pa!”
“Good bye cruel world!”
*Father lets go of his bed and goes flying into the “ceiling” as Barbara screams in shock at the impact. Flatline sound is heard*

 

[Captain Jigglypuff]

“Oh Celeste, I wish you’d play the piano more often.”
“Mother always did say practice makes-“
*Prop piano starts playing Home Sweet Home on its own and the actors all start singing the last verse*
“Oh Celeste I wish you’d play the piano more often.”
“Mother always did say….”
*Piano begins to play again and lines are repeated and the piano keeps on playing by itself. Chris opens the top and rips out some wires which then temporarily stops the playing before it resumes and progressively get faster and faster. Robert starts shoving a pillow into the prop piano and feathers begin to fly out and then he accidentally tosses in the cat which then screams as fur flies upwards and the piano stops playing. The cat meows in pain from within the piano*

 

[Yoshi155]

Rolling around at the speed of sound!
I just peaked my mic and I don’t give a hell!

 

[Yukari Yakumo]

"There are better things in life than alcohol, Albert."
"Oh, yes sir! But alcohol sort of compensates for not having them!"

 

[Captain Jigglypuff]

“Boxtrolls!”
“And they’re naked!”
*People run away screaming*