The out of context quotes thread

[rocketspruggs]

"Our computer lab actually has a computer in it."

"Hi, Lisa, hi, Supernintendo Chalmers!"

[The cat in an educational computer game meows]

"I'm learnding!"

"Ah, way to go, Ralph!"

 

[Captain Jigglypuff]

“Velva’s a baby game. I’m gonna drain the car’s brakes now.”
*Later the Oblong family are in the car and it goes a long way before it stops and hits a pole*
“That’s strange. I just topped off the fluid.”

 

[Captain Jigglypuff]

*Phone rings and Filbert picks it up angrily and a telephone split screen appears with the female Horse Judge on the other line*
“What?!”
“Hello!”
“STOP CALLING HERE!!!!!!”
“*Annoyed grunt* You’re mean!”
*Judge violently shoves her phone receiver into Filbert’s face and the split screen turns back to normal*

 

[ZeldaCrossing64]

"I need a mod that removes Marnie from the planet."

 

[Captain Jigglypuff]

*Mr Bighead in drag with a mop on his head as hair*
(In a softer voice): “It’s me! Bev Bighead. I’m here to win the tournament.”
“I thought you were a redhead.”
(Angrily in normal voice): “I GOT MY HAIR DONE! (In softer voice again) Do you like it?”

 

[Suguri]

I don't envy you the headache you'll have when you awake. But, in the meantime, rest well...and dream of large women. -Westley, "The Pincess Bride"

 

[Captain Jigglypuff]

*Woman opens the door to her bedroom and finds her nerdy boyfriend in bed with another woman*
“It’s not what it looks like!”
“I know. You were just role playing.”

 

[Captain Jigglypuff]

“All my friends are still alive. Jerks.”

 

[rocketspruggs]

"Oh, I'm sorry, I was looking for the mailman."

"Oh, what? Are you saying I'm not a, "male man", is that what you're trying to say? I'm not male, I'm not a man? Is that, is that what you're getting at?"

"Are you crying?"

[Dipper tries to hold back his tears and runs off]

 

[Captain Jigglypuff]

“Are you crying?! There’s no crying in baseball!”

 

[Yukari Yakumo]

"Well, is he naughty or nice?"

"Ah. A bit... problematic Chief... Here's his dossier."

"Ohhh... Yes. The kid from 'The Noodle Incident...'"

"That was a while ago Boss. He says he was framed and we've had trouble verifying the particulars. Accounts seem to vary."

 

[Captain Jigglypuff]

“I’M ALARMO! I WATCH YOU WHILE YOU SLEEP!!!!!”

 

[Captain Jigglypuff]

“My motion sensors work best when you sleep alone!”
“Why are you telling me this?”

 

[Captain Jigglypuff]

“Move! Move! Move! I watch you while you sleep!”
“Why is it saying that?!”

 

[QueenCobra]

"This is the wildest, most offensive thing I have seen."

 

[Captain Jigglypuff]

“OKAY! LET’S GET MOVING! RISE AND SHINE!!!!!!!”

 

[Captain Jigglypuff]

“I rented this cabin for the Fourth of July weekend.”
“But Mr Bighead, it’s January.”

 

[Yukari Yakumo]

"I CAN'T BELIEVE IT! Their powers combined to create new life?! It's magic that has surpassed all things in Nature! This is... This is nothing short of a miracle!!!"
"I get it already, so could you stop talking from inside my skirt?"

 

[Captain Jigglypuff]

“I got you some flowers.”
*Kevin shows a bouquet to Weirdie who is immediately repulsed and shoves them away from her*
“EWWWW! I don’t want the reproductive organs of some plants! Why do people think cutting off the genitalia of a bunch of plants is so romantic?!”

 

[QueenCobra]

“Dang, Jackie, I can’t control the weather!”