The out of context quotes thread

[Captain Jigglypuff]

“Well, it looks like it’s just you and me, Ruffles. Ruffles? Ruffles?! Oh god no….”
*Chris sits down on the couch when a toy squeak is heard and six Jack in the box clowns pop out from the couch and makes him scream*

 

[rocketspruggs]

"There's a serial gifter loose on the ship."

"We have to destroy him before he destroys us. Peepers, assemble a team."

"They're onto us, we don't have much time, find and secure Hater. Leave the dogs to me."

"How?"

"I'll do what I do best...being merry."

 

[Yoshi155]

So, we can confirm that Santa Claus exists in the Mario universe. Meaning that Christmas exists. Meaning that Jesus is canon in the Mario universe.

 

[rocketspruggs]

"No...no..."

"I'm really sorry, Syl, but I just gotta try...I know this seems bananas, and I must be plum outta my melon, but I don't pear!
The way I fig-ure, even the rottenest apple still has a sweet spot at its core...KUMQUAT!"

"Wander, he's gonna destroy you!"

"Sorry, I gotta try."

 

[Yukari Yakumo]

“It's amazing how good governments are, given their track records in almost every other field, at hushing up things like alien encounters. One reason may be that the aliens themselves are too embarrassed to talk about it.

It's not known why most of the space-going races of the universe want to undertake rummaging in Earthling underwear as a prelude to formal contact. But representatives of several hundred races have taken to hanging out, unsuspected by one another, in rural corners of the planet and, as a result of this, keep on abducting other would-be abductees. Some have been in fact abducted while waiting to carry out an abduction on a couple of aliens trying to abduct the aliens who were, as a result of misunderstood instructions, trying to form cattle into circles and mutilate crops.

The planet Earth is now banned to all alien races until they can compare notes and find out how many, if any, real humans they have actually got. It is gloomily suspected that there is only one - who is big, hairy, and has very large feet.

The truth may be out there, but the lies are inside your head.”

 

[QueenCobra]

“I detect a little communism.”

 

[Chronos314_XD]

"At least it's not raining."

*Gets stabbed.*

 

[Yoshi155]

Come on, you turned Birdo into a perfect replica of Princess Peach, but you can’t make the fake Beanstar look NOT like Frisk from Undertale?

 

[Yoshi155]

“Cut it out! You’re the most stubborn people I know! No girls would ever like you!”

Hey man, I play games to escape from reality, not to reflect it, okay?

 

[rocketspruggs]

"When the cherry petals of magic romance academy are in bloom, anthyding can hadplen. That is so true."

 

[Yoshi155]

I feel like the takeaway should be “treat ladies nice because it’s the right thing to do” not “treat ladies nice, otherwise they’ll toss you into a volcano.”

 

[QueenCobra]

“Last night you were unhinged. You were like some desperate, howling demon. You frightened me. Do it again.”

 

[Captain Jigglypuff]

“YOU KILLED OUR FRIENDS JUST LIKE YOU KILLED ALL OF THOSE KIDS TWENTY YEARS AGO!”
“Why does everyone keep saying that? The camp got shut down because of the zebra mussels.”

 

[Yukari Yakumo]

“Picture a tall, dark figure, surrounded by cornfields...
NO, YOU CAN'T RIDE A CAT. WHO EVER HEARD OF THE DEATH OF RATS RIDING A CAT? THE DEATH OF RATS WOULD RIDE SOME KIND OF DOG.
Picture more fields, a great horizon-spanning network of fields, rolling in gentle waves...
DON'T ASK ME I DON'T KNOW. SOME KIND OF TERRIER, MAYBE.
...fields of corn, alive, whispering in the breeze...
RIGHT, AND THE DEATH OF FLEAS CAN RIDE IT TOO. THAT WAY YOU KILL TWO BIRDS WITH ONE STONE.
...awaiting the clockwork of the seasons.
METAPHORICALLY.”

 

[rocketspruggs]

"Hello? I have an urgent intertown loan request from a Thisissa Realname? Dadgummit, those pranksters got me again!"