The out of context quotes thread

[Captain Jigglypuff]

“You put my husband into the body of a fish?! That’s hilarious!”
“What?!”
“I’m sorry to say this but you’ve had coming for a long time now, Stan.”

 

[Yoshi155]

“You look like fine young men. Would you shop here every day and make us old hens happy?”

Oh, no you don’t. I’ve seen this one before. Next thing you know, I’m stuck in a loveless relationship and have to be a stepfather to people older than me!

…what the hell are you talking about?

 

[xSuperMario64x]

"sure, why not. we're in Canada."

"and it's so cooold here!"

"the land of frozen butts. you have a butt, you bring it to Canada—"

"it becomes a butt-sicle"

 

[Yukari Yakumo]

"The more you look at it, the more anxious this picture becomes."
"This is just a normal Waffle House."
"There is a bloody handprint on the door."
"There is something under the counter with the cups."
"A normal Waffle House."
"Is that woman grabbing the boy with a tentacle instead of a hand?!"
"WE'RE NOT GONNA TALK ABOUT THE EYEBALLS ON THAT MAN'S PLATE?!"
"It be like that at Waffle House."
"The blind old guy has fish gills."
"The woman's cream is making a skull pattern in her coffee."
"HAVE NONE OF YOU BEEN TO A WAFFLE HOUSE?!"

 

[rocketspruggs]

"What's going on?"

"Edna Krabappel, you've been nominated for teacher of the year!"

"Oh my god!"

"Haw-haw, you're crying!"

"Nelson Muntz, you've been nominated for bully of the year!"

"Thank you so much...wedgie!"

 

[Captain Jigglypuff]

“You give us seniors something to look forward to! Well other than death….”
“Grim Reaper is seen peeking from behind a wall and then slowly goes back behind it*

 

[rocketspruggs]

"Thanks, mom."

"Bye, kids!"

"Bye-bye."

"Haw-haw, your mom changed!"

 

[Captain Jigglypuff]

*Steve Martin and Victoria Jackson are in a car being driven by a cat*
“See? I told you he could drive!”
“Toonces! Look out!”
*Toonces loses control of the car and everyone screams as stock footage of a car driving off a cliff and crashing and rolling downhill is shown. Cut to Victoria and Steve limping to sit on a rock*
“I thought you said he could drive.”
“Well I thought he could. I saw him fooling around at the steering wheel and I guess I assumed he could drive.”
“That’s okay, honey. Anybody would think that.”
*Car starting up and driving away is heard*
“Hey look! He’s driving away!”
“I guess he can drive!”
“Yeah! Just not very well!”