“You look like fine young men. Would you shop here every day and make us old hens happy?”
Oh, no you don’t. I’ve seen this one before. Next thing you know, I’m stuck in a loveless relationship and have to be a stepfather to people older than me!
"The more you look at it, the more anxious this picture becomes." "This is just a normal Waffle House." "There is a bloody handprint on the door." "There is something under the counter with the cups." "A normal Waffle House." "Is that woman grabbing the boy with a tentacle instead of a hand?!" "WE'RE NOT GONNA TALK ABOUT THE EYEBALLS ON THAT MAN'S PLATE?!" "It be like that at Waffle House." "The blind old guy has fish gills." "The woman's cream is making a skull pattern in her coffee." "HAVE NONE OF YOU BEEN TO A WAFFLE HOUSE?!"
“You give us seniors something to look forward to! Well other than death….”
“Grim Reaper is seen peeking from behind a wall and then slowly goes back behind it*
*Steve Martin and Victoria Jackson are in a car being driven by a cat*
“See? I told you he could drive!”
“Toonces! Look out!”
*Toonces loses control of the car and everyone screams as stock footage of a car driving off a cliff and crashing and rolling downhill is shown. Cut to Victoria and Steve limping to sit on a rock*
“I thought you said he could drive.”
“Well I thought he could. I saw him fooling around at the steering wheel and I guess I assumed he could drive.”
“That’s okay, honey. Anybody would think that.”
*Car starting up and driving away is heard*
“Hey look! He’s driving away!”
“I guess he can drive!”
“Yeah! Just not very well!”
“Well it seems that rushing to explain the entire play has caused us to be a few minutes early and now we have time to answer any questions you might have. Who wants to go first?”
“How many mistakes was that?”
“Okay. You know what? We do have time for the doctor scene!”
*Stage scenery opens up to reveal a living room with a man dressed as a doctor in a suit*
“Sorry! No time for it now! Turns out my watch is slow.”
*Cut to end credits*
“Music is dead to me now!”
*Gene Simmons and Paul Stanley leave the stage in disgust*
“Now’s our chance!”
“Let’s do it!”
*Music begins to play Chattanooga Choo Choo with Peter Criss and Ace Frehley singing and dancing to the song*
“Pardon me, boy, is that the Chattanooga Choo Choo? Track 29, hey can you give me a shine?”
*Cut to the crowd staring at the two in completely stunned silence*
“ALL THINGS THAT ARE, ARE OURS. BUT WE MUST CARE. FOR IF WE DO NOT CARE, WE DO NOT EXIST. IF WE DO NOT EXIST, THEN THERE IS NOTHING BUT BLIND OBLIVION. AND EVEN OBLIVION MUST END SOMEDAY. LORD, WILL YOU GRANT ME JUST A LITTLE TIME? FOR THE PROPER BALANCE OF THINGS. TO RETURN WHAT WAS GIVEN. FOR THE SAKE OF PRISONERS AND THE FLIGHT OF BIRDS."
Death took a step backwards.
It was impossible to read expression in Azrael's features.
Death glanced sideways at the servants.
"LORD, WHAT CAN THE HARVEST HOPE FOR, IF NOT FOR THE CARE OF THE REAPER MAN?”
“Why don’t you use platform to go after the real problem? Do you realize if Donald Trump, we’ll be living a real life version of The Handmaid’s Tale?”
*Woman next to man interrupts*
“I’m sorry to interrupt but I think that’s a bit of an oversimpli-“
“De uh uh uh. If you read that book, you’d see we’re basically halfway there.”
“Thanks for clarifying. Next question. This woman is the author of The Handsmaid’s Tale. *Image of the woman that the man interrupted is shown* That’s right. The woman standing next to you this whole time is Margret Atwood.”
