The out of context quotes thread

[rocketspruggs]

"Oh, look there, that's Cricket Green."

"Hey!"

"The family's thrill seekin' and unpredictable son."

"Aha! come on, you guys! The faster we harvest these veggies, the sooner we can hit the road."

"Ah, Bill Green, a loving father and overwhelmed farmer."

"Cricket, are those apples in your..."

[Cricket stuffed two apples in his butt.]

"Oh, it is."

"Mmm..."

"Papa, if you listen closely, do you think it's possible to hear what a carrot is thinkin'?"

"Hoho, Tilly Green, the unique and whimsical daughter."

"Um, let's just finish loadin' the truck, sweetie."

"Okay."

"And Gramma...the gramma. Now here's the thing, this family has no idea they're about to embark on a journey that is so remarkable, it is truly out of this..."

"Dad, that weird guy who's always narrating our lives is back."

"Oh! Well, folks, I've been spotted, just remember that..."

[Gramma throws an apple at the narrator] "Get outta here!"

[The narrator kneeling on the ground in pain] "Enjoy the movie, folks...ugh..."

"Some people just ain't got no class."

 

[lasagne_of_death]

"When there's no cops around, everything's legal!"

 

[Captain Jigglypuff]

“It’s not that big of a deal.”
“NOT THAT BIG OF A DEAL?! HOW WOULD YOU LIKE IT IF I LOCKED YOU IN A CLOSET AND YOU MISSED THE 1994 LA RIOTS?!”
“Just like the riots themselves, that was a very intelligent way to express yourself.”

 

[-Blue-]

There’s a drawer next to the bunk. It’s inside that. It’s red. You got it?
(Runs off)
That’s my underwear...
Yeah, I was pretty sure he didn’t know what you were talking about. You have to explain it more careful.
All right. It’s a prototype fin -
(Comes back with a small lizard)
That’s an orloni. It’s a fin.
You explain it this time.
(Comes back with an cybernetic eye)
That’s Vorker’s eye. He takes it out when he sleeps. Go look again.
But leave the eye here.
Why?
He’s gonna wake up tomorrow and he’s not gonna know where his eye is!
(Drags a big desk back)
That’s a desk. We told you it was this big.
(Holding a big toe)
Tell me you guys have a refrigerator somewhere with a bunch of severed human toes.
(Shakes his head, no)
Okay, then let’s just agree to never discuss this.

 

[rocketspruggs]

"Oh, Dad, you ready to have some fun? I found all kinds of neat space junk, including whatever this is, whoa!"

"What do you think you're doing?! As I stated earlier, this trip to Gwendolyn's farming asteroid is a serious mission, not some la-di-da vacation! No fun will be tolerated."

"Uh, you must be joking, right?"

"That would be considered fun, so no, I don't joke."

"Wow, you're really strict."

"Thank you." [throws Cricket's space junk into the sun]

"Ah jeez, right into the dang sun, come on!"

"And to ensure you stay in line, I'll be watching you every second...I know I just said I'll be watching you every second, and then immediately left, but don't let that undermine my message!"

"Grrr...well, Crickie, seems that Connie is gonna get in the way of our space vacation happiness, unless..."

"We'd kill her."

"What, Gramma, no, we can't kill her!"

"No, no, no, I said, "weed killer", I just noticed this leg has a gardenin' mode."

 

[Yukari Yakumo]

Things were simpler then. And also very, very stupid.

 

[Captain Jigglypuff]

“Let’s cuddle! Like little bunnies or babies! It’s so much safer.”

 

[xSuperMario64x]

"well that went over like a fart in church" -poofesure

 

[lasagne_of_death]

"Sometimes I use big words, and I don't actually know what they mean. I mean, I'm supposed to be the smart guy! If I'm not the smart guy, who am I?!"

 

[Captain Jigglypuff]

“Oh. Schadenfreude, huh? What’s that? Some kind of Nazi word?”
“Yep! It’s German for ‘happiness at the expense of others’ misfortune.’”
“Happiness at the expense of others’ misfortune. Hey! That is German!”

 

[QueenCobra]

"Your story makes my heart heavy...and my prostate weak. My bladder is full to bursting."

 

[lasagne_of_death]

Lmao what the hell is that one just said

 

[QueenCobra]

Lmao what the hell is that one just said

It's from Kung Pow: Enter the Fist. A great comedy classic...I would highly recommend watching it!

 

[xSuperMario64x]

"You! Sprechen Sie English?"

"I sprechen."

"What continent is this?"

"...Manhattan?"

It's from Kung Pow: Enter the Fist. A great comedy classic...I would highly recommend watching it!

my dad watched this movie so much when I was a kid, the "Chosen One!... I'm coming!" scene kills me fr

 

[Captain Jigglypuff]

“‘What is the capital of Germany?’ Germs have their own nation?”

 

[QueenCobra]

“Are you Big Black Jack?”

“What it look like?!”

 

[Midoriya]

"Honey, we're going to the nearby universe's Sonic. What do you want?"

"I HATE Sonic's food, but uh, fine... I'll have some tater tots."

*as they drive into the location Jerry notices an upside down cross painted in red on the ground*

"Eghh..."

*then he notices one of the order numbers is #666*

"AHGHH...!"

"Would you like a kid's toy with your meal?"

"S-Sure..."

*employee hands him a doll that looks like a devil*

"AHHHH, I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE! I'M GETTING OUT OF HERE!"

*Jerry jumps out of the car in a frenzy and runs far away*

"Geez, what's his problem? Man never been to a Satanic before?"

"Wow Rick, their food is actually pretty good here!"

*Overhead sign says "This is how you Satanic"*

 

[Captain Jigglypuff]

*A.Flea is staring at a sign that says not to enter*
“You know, I bet I miss a lot of things not being able to read.”
*Enters the area unaware of the warning*

 

[Yoshi155]

Oh yeah? If you’re the real Sonic, what color are my quills?

Blue.

Okay, I guess that was kind of easy. What color are my eyes?

Green.

Shoot! I really thought I had him there! Alright then, what color are my shoes?

 

[Captain Jigglypuff]

“Mr. Duckman, you’ve only been here for eight hours and already you’ve turned our whole world topsy-turvy!”
“We’ve spent the entire morning burning your sheets and your mattress and the bed and the carpet around the bed leading into the bathroom and the bathroom!”
*Cut to a panning shot of the bed, carpet, and remains of a bathroom all burnt down*