The out of context quotes thread

[Psydye]

Eldritch deity: "I WAS ANCIENT WHEN YOUR ANCESTORS WERE NAUGHT BUT PROTOPLASMIC SLIME!!"
Carlos: "Soooo...you're Hugh Hefner..?"
Eldritch deity: "Jeez, I'm not THAT old!"

 

[Ravenkitty22]

"Landon, stop touching midgets! Goddamn!"
"This, right here, is the reason I'm not getting into college."

 

[BakaRina]

"Where’d you get that?"
"I found it."
"I find that answer vague and unconvincing."

 

[ZeldaCrossing64]

"Why are they still blinking? Their eyes are closed."

 

[Plainbluetees]

Aurora Borealis?! At this time of year, at this time of day, in this part of the country, localized entirely within your kitchen?!
Yes.
May I see it?
No.

 

[ZeldaCrossing64]

"Oh no, there's two butterflies this time! And they're just floating there menacingly!"

 

[BakaRina]

"Hiding is not going to solve anything!"
"No, but it will temporarily keep us alive. I don’t know about you, but I like living."

 

[oddbear]

"you know mom's in the general vicinity when kendrick lamar starts playing."

 

[BakaRina]

"Let’s go over what we know about all of these incidents."
"We’re calling them "incidents" now? I was thinking more along the lines of "that wacky time yesterday when we almost died".

 

[BakaRina]

"I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. The highest setting on this microwave is 100%, and you better not take it apart to add power."
"Oh, come on!"

 

[Captain Jigglypuff]

“We’re gonna need another Timmy!”

 

[BakaRina]

"Not to be inhospitable but why the hell are you here?"

 

[BakaRina]

"Who was Harold?"
"He was a role model of mine growing up."
"Please let Harold be human."
"Harold was a dove."

 

[VernalLapin]

“They want us to move to Ohio?! The home state of eight people who became president just so they didn't have to stay living there?!”

 

[Captain Jigglypuff]

“Gee, I’ve never seen a real jet engine before! How does it work?”
“Well Timmy, the best way to learn about something is by taking a good close look. Why don’t you peek inside-There you go-Ok while I step behind this asbestos shield?”
“Ooooo! He’s gonna say it!”
“Gosh it’s not doing anything!”
“Keep looking!”
“Okay but I don’t think it’s going to work. I mean nothing’s hap-“
*Jet engine flame incinerates Timmy*
“Say it!”
“We’re gonna need another Timmy!”

 

[ZeldaCrossing64]

"What we have to do is find out who in the school is running Eavesdropper. I've done an extensive profile, and I've narrowed it down to somebody in this very room."
(intense jingle plays as everybody looks at each other)
"Now whoever you are, you're a gossiping little *****, and we're not gonna-"
"It's not somebody in this room."
"What? How do you know?"
"Because whoever it is just now posted a new story on Eavesdropper. 'Allison Taft reveals embarrassing secret about Craig Tucker'." *chuckles* "Hey wait, that's me."

 

[Seastar]

"Yes, that bear chasing you isn't real."

 

[xSuperMario64x]

"Greg! Stop hitting your balls so hard!"
^ (I was talking about the ping-pong balls, haha.)

Greg is such a treasure and must be protected at all costs

 

[ZeldaCrossing64]

"Ah! Snake!"
"No dude, that's a branch."
"Oh. ...Ah! Snake!"
"No, that's the same branch again."
"Oh."

Greg is such a treasure and must be protected at all costs

Oh my goodness I almost forgot about that quote I got angry at him 'cause I lost my streak in Table Tennis Return Challenge and... I guess that was my retort XD

 

[Captain Jigglypuff]

“I tried poisoning her but apparently poison wasn’t ‘vegan’ enough.”
“She doesn’t even know what vegan means.”
“I know! Cindy couldn’t be any stupider unless her parents were siblings!”