The out of context quotes thread

[Captain Jigglypuff]

“When I was a young girl, I wanted to be a doctor. So I worked hard, got good grades, bought the outfit and I became a doctor.”
“When I was a young girl, I wanted to be a cowgirl. So I worked hard, got good grades, bought the outfit, and I became a cowgirl....”

 

[xSuperMario64x]

"what do the Olympians have to say about mr thwompo?" - me 7 seconds ago

 

[Hunter_Gr33n]

"and everyone voted so hard that the palace caught on fire and burned down."

 

[Beanz]

“well look at it this way, you have another 40 years to croak. look at you, so young.” -me

 

[ZeldaCrossing64]

"Imagine Mario Kart but you have to use the worst bike in the game, and the only course you can play is Delfino Plaza."

 

[Midoriya]

"Imagine Mario Kart but you have to use the worst bike in the game, and the only course you can play is Delfino Plaza."

*me living this out*

Help! Hellllllp! I took a hard turn and ended up in the water with my bike! I'm gonna drown!

 

[-Blue-]

'Perfect song for riding a amusement park ride in space saving your parents from being sacrificed to a giant chicken'

 

[Seastar]

"Well, here we are, burning."
"I hate being a candle."

 

[Midoriya]

"Oh, so 50 shades of green then"
"LMAO"
"that sounds like an Incredible Hulk movie"
"except he's sad and depressed"

From messaging @Shellzilla_515 on Discord.

 

[Midoriya]

"Majin Boo and others only cut in at the top of the screen, so to me it looks like Goku and others were defeated by a ******* rock."

"Ah yes, the Z fighter's mortal nemesis, a giant rock."

 

[Hunter_Gr33n]

"You made this dear, sweet pseudo-innocent juggalo vomit liter after thick, glutinous liter of nasty purple blood."

 

[oath2order]

"There is no quiet anymore. There is only Doc McStuffins." - Parks and Recreation

 

[xSuperMario64x]

"Majin Boo and others only cut in at the top of the screen, so to me it looks like Goku and others were defeated by a ******* rock."

"Ah yes, the Z fighter's mortal nemesis, a giant rock."

I see the spirit of mr thwompo manifests outside of the Super Mario universe now hehe

 

[Midoriya]

*screen zooms in on rap scene with everyone dancing around Jaden Smith*

*everyone rapping together*

"This is ten percent luck
Twenty percent skill
Fifteen percent concentrated power of will
Five percent pleasure
Fifty percent pain
And a hundred percent reason to remember the name"

*Predator shows up as rap suddenly stops, and the Predator walks up to Jaden*

"You think you can beat me, lil Predator? Well, I am the KARATE KID, and I know KA-RA-TE!"

*Jaden proceeds to do some techniques, which have no effect on Predator. Predator laughs and then uses his futuristic gun to blow up Jaden Smith*

*crowd gasps at first, but then continues to rap together, but changing the lyrics for Predator while he dances in the middle*

"This is ten percent slashing
Twenty percent kill
Fifteen percent concentrated power of thrill
Fifty percent terror
Zero percent fun
And a hundred percent reason to run, run, run!"

*The rap ends as the Predator smirks and everyone proceeds to do jazz hands around him*

 

[Hunter_Gr33n]

"ok thats fine, but i just have one question and then a word of caution. have you ever seen a movie called little monsters starring howie mandel and fred savage?"

"Your bathroom is a mess."
"Did you do that too?"
"oh man, see this isn't cool."
"all this snooping nonsense!"
"There's a cake in the toilet."
"yes. there is."

(By the way, capitalization and punctuation were as written in the source material.)

 

[-Blue-]

"Majin Boo and others only cut in at the top of the screen, so to me it looks like Goku and others were defeated by a ******* rock."

"Ah yes, the Z fighter's mortal nemesis, a giant rock."

Superman finally found his buddies.

 

[QueenCobra]

“It’s like birthday cake on speed!”

 

[xSuperMario64x]

"why tf does the Master Sword even exist if Link can just wear a Halloween costume and throw a bone sword"

 

[BakaRina]

"Why do you have coffee everyday? Are you gonna die without it?"
"No. But you might."

 

[Midoriya]

"Ahhhh, a tornado!"
"Wait, where are we now?"
"I don't know, but I think we're a long ways away from Kansas!"
"What should our next plan of action be?"
"Hmm... let's follow this road that has cracks in it!"
"We're off to see the Wizard! The Wizard of Waverly Place"
*meanwhile*
"MAAAAAAX! I told you not to spill that pitcher of tea! What will guests think if they walk in?"
"We're here! Hello, the wizard of Waverly Place!"
"Ummm, who tf are you guys?"
"We've come from a long ways away because Dorothy here has a question!"
"Yes, I'd like to know how to get back home!"
"Uhhh, how the HECK am I supposed to help with that? Do you think my magic works like that? Because it doesn't. Also, I don't even know where you live!"
"I live in Kansas!"
"This is ******* New York! Just book a flight and go home!"
"But... I don't have any money! Please, I'd really like to go home!"
"Look, I can't help you."
*Someone else walks in*
"Hey there, Officer Goblin!"
"An officer goblin? Oh no! I'll take care of it!"
*Dorothy punches the Officer Goblin to the ground and starts beating him up*
"Wait no, he's not an actual goblin! Please, stop!"
*Dorothy stops, horrified at what she's done*
"Oh... Oh my. I'm really sorry.... I don't know what came over me!"
"That's it, I'm calling the cops."
*Police siren goes off before an officer walks in*
"Heard there was a disturbance in the area?"
*Dorothy closes her eyes and clenches her fists*
"There's no place like home! There's no place like home! There's no place like home!"
"Yeah, that's right. There's no place like jail... for you." *Police Officer handcuffs her and takes her away*
"Geez, what a weird woman... oh well, at least she didn't see the spilled tea... wai OH NO, that wasn't tea, that was a flying monkey potion! No, now all of Manhattan is going to be..."
*Alex looks outside as instead of people walking on the sidewalks there's flying monkeys everywhere*
"Great..."
*typical sitcom laugh track*