The out of context quotes thread

[kiwikenobi]

"There's no rules to talking to a jellybean." - someone I passed while walking down the street years ago.

To this day I wonder what the rest of that conversation was about.

 

[ZeldaCrossing64]

"Caught in a bad roma-" *starts coughing uncontrollably* "GOD DAMMIT COVID-"
~Me right now trying to sing (and failing)

 

[-Mars-]

Warning: Objects in the mirror are handsomer then they appear.

 

[xSuperMario64x]

"If you're in a gun war, would you hide inside a barrel of flammable liquid?"

"Better than hiding behind a ****in couch for all these g****** years."

 

[ZeldaCrossing64]

"It smells like trouble! Or at least I think it does. I'm mad congested, yo."

 

[ZeldaCrossing64]

"NEWS FLASH, MR. KRUPP LOVES GUACAMOLE!"
(Not in the Captain Underpants show, but that would be pretty funny)

 

[Midoriya]

Batman: "I really think this is getting out of hand, Harvey. I mean... you could die."
Harvey: "Don't call me Harvey anymore, Batman! Call me by my new name... infinite face!"

 

[ZeldaCrossing64]

"Well, we're not gonna win any awards with just puns and fart jokes." -Harold, probably

 

[Midoriya]

Muscle Man: "You know who else likes to sucker punch Chuck Mangione?"
Benson: "Muscle Man, if you say "my mom," you're promoted."
Muscle Man: "MY MOM!!!"
Benson: "Congrats! You're promoted."
Mordecai: "What the heck, Benson? How come when Muscle Man says it he gets promoted, but when we say it we get in trouble for it?"
Benson: "That's because you two suck."

 

[Shellzilla_515]

"You make an appointment with the dentist and you don't show up, believe it or not, jail, right away. We have the best patients in the world. Because of jail."

"This is too much. Why I buy too much?"

"You could try a Honda Fit Hybrid for a healthier option. And don't forget to hydrate yourself with a Toyota Aqua."

"I can honestly see Walmart awarding paid time off by using the roulette"

“Look, I know you said you want tomorrow off, but the wheel said we have to give you a Toyota Crown Safety Car instead. I don’t make the rules!”

 

[xSuperMario64x]

"how are we doing?"

me: "idk, okay I guess. as good as a McDonald's can do."

 

[WhiteLily210]

"Please get in the cup so I can take you outside..."
*Bug moves*
"Sire you are sCARING ME" -Me just a few minutes ago

 

[Midoriya]

"Hello there! I'm the Sprint guy, and I used to ask, "Can you hear me now?" Now I ask,

H-Hello? Can you hear me now? What the heck is that noise? It sounds like a party beat in the background! Is that gravel you're walking on? Hello? HELLO?!? Oh, I think I heard something. What did you say? WTF DID YOU SAY?!?""

 

[ZeldaCrossing64]

One of my favorite Poofesure quotes (and the only age-appropriate one I could find):

"The only strategy I could come up with right now is... Not having a strategy."

 

[ZeldaCrossing64]

"Nice laugh, Beef Boss. You're part Mario." -Poofesure

 

[-Mars-]

"Break the door down"
"Yeah that's my point"
"Then their out of luck I would NOT have access to the 60 digit combination. I would have to break down what is an effectively bulletproof glass door"
"Well technically, it is bulletproof. Not Stick proof"
"You could slowly cut thru it"
"With what?"
"ur mom"
"Seriously, so this entire conversation led up to a ur mom joke?"
"Maybe"
"That literally makes no sense"
- Some random weird conversation my close friends were having(I have no clue what they were talking about)

 

[ZeldaCrossing64]

Kinda glad I could find more Poofesure quotes appropriate enough to post here.

Spoiler: There's kind of a lot

"You got 2,003 chicken wings for the price of 9."

"Why do they actually not taste the taco? They just look at it real close like they can eat it with their eyes? ...And judge it."

"But he gave me a 69%, so he must have a sense of humor."

"It looks like Wario's logo but upside-down."

"Zoe is a hippie, so she's probably eaten dog food before."

"Go to the grocery store next to- WALLY!"

"Mary wants a concrete cupcake. What kind of cupcake is that, Mary?"

"Special Thanksgiving offer: You buy one cupcake, and you get the other for regular price."

"Why do tiny people always have to take so long explaining things?"

 

[Midoriya]

"Passing it to my home boy, Tech Support Scammer!"

"Work hard,
Play hard,
Work hard,
Play hard..."

 

[-Mars-]

"Wait, but that's a statue, that means..."
"I'm a model!"
"It's ugly!"
"Are you kidding me? My manly eyes are way better then that dumb statue!"

 

[-Blue-]

Muscle Man: "You know who else likes to sucker punch Chuck Mangione?"
Benson: "Muscle Man, if you say "my mom," you're promoted."
Muscle Man: "MY MOM!!!"
Benson: "Congrats! You're promoted."
Mordecai: "What the heck, Benson? How come when Muscle Man says it he gets promoted, but when we say it we get in trouble for it?"
Benson: "That's because you two suck."

Good show! Jolly good show!
You know who also likes a good show? MY MOM!