The out of context quotes thread

[QueenCobra]

“I know. She’s quite improper, but makes it look like the most elegant thing in the world! I don’t understand it…a plain, non-magical mortal with such an ability?!” She shook her head. “She must be half-giant.”
Beatriz laughed, even as Bathilde scowled.
“Ida…half-giant?! She’s only six feet tall.”
“And how many dragon-eggs is that? Twenty? The woman’s big, but I didn’t know…hmm! The tragedy of being half-elf!”
“Something I wouldn’t think you’d forget, Auntie.”

 

[Captain Jigglypuff]

“Looks don’t matter as long as you’re rich and live in a giant castle!”

 

[oddbear]

“if i sniff eggs, it’s your fault.”

“PLEASE, fairy godmother, can i stop feeling like bill cipher today?”

 

[ZeldaCrossing64]

"For Heaven's Gate, Professor, this ship can do 99% light speed. Why are we going 35 miles an hour?"

"Because we're in a hurry, that's why!"

 

[Hunter_Gr33n]

"I love this weird sweaty child more than any of you could ever know."

 

[Captain Jigglypuff]

“Hey! What’s cooking?”
”You are, stupid!”

 

[Captain Jigglypuff]

“Do you know how old your ‘baby’ is?”
”Of course. He’s 100 and 47 months.”
“He’s twelve years old.”
”And three months!”

 

[ZeldaCrossing64]

"Sir, it's not necessary or wise to be naked."

"You sound just like my tennis instructor!"

 

[Captain Jigglypuff]

“Coach? You like my dad like the way my mom likes my dad, don’t you?”
”Your mom likes your dad?”

 

[ZeldaCrossing64]

"Are these pills supposed to wake me up or something?"

"Close. It's gonna make your kidneys shut down."

"WHAT?!"

 

[oddbear]

“Where is that insolent little magician?”

 

[Captain Jigglypuff]

“Help! My Uncle Denny’s streaking! God rest his soul.”
”Burn their privates off!”

 

[QueenCobra]

“We… are living in a world where people look at us like we’re freaks.”

*screams like a man twice* “I’m acting.”

“Why are we sitting here BULLYING each other? I think it’s highly inappropriate.”

All: inaudible arguing

“Well how did you not know what you were signing up for? You already did this, girl!”

*makes odd noises* “WELL COME ON, TELETUBBY, TELEPORT US TO MARS!”

“I just don’t think it’s appropriate to talk about something that had nothing to do with anything that’s happened here.”

“Well, guess what Mimi? We DID. You, Mimi Imfurst, MIMI IMFURST was number third in the voting? I could not beliEVE it. Out of all….”

“DO NOT ATTACK MY FANS!”

“The stuff I’ve seen? You don’t have that many.”

“OOP!”

“So out of FIFTY that have been in here, how did you manage that?”

“Because they need someone to go home first!”

 

[xSuperMario64x]

"but you know who's immune to marketing? that's right, ants."

 

[QueenCobra]

“Jeff Bezos murdered Barnes and Noble!
Jeff Bezos murdered Sears!
Jeff Bezos murdered Toys R Us, but Spirit Halloween is here!”

 

[kisaker39]

"LMJ is designed for toddlers i dropped my 3DS down the stairs and it managed to complete LMJ before it hit the floor"

 

[QueenCobra]

“Why were they playing ‘Love Shack’ at the Oktoberfest? It wasn’t even polka…or in German!”

 

[Captain Jigglypuff]

“HE DIDN’T GET OUT OF THE COCKADOODIE CAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

 

[QueenCobra]

“You’re racist against Super Saiyans!”

 

[-Mars-]

"I'm scared of toasters, do you have any toasters in your house?"
"One, but I'll make sure it stays in the kitchen"