The out of context quotes thread

”Joe Jonas looks like he gets down on all fours and crawls into the kitchen at 3 am to go chug milk.”
me, a few days ago :,)
 
“Jon Arbuckle is a lesbian!?”

”Krabby patties all have a gender now, and they are all male.”
 
conversation between me and my mom today at a department store:

*for context we were taking a shortcut through the baby clothes*

me: “you know how women’s fashion has changed over time, do you think baby clothes have changed?”

my mom: “yeah it has”

me: “so what you’re telling me is that people were dressing their baby’s up in emo clothes in 2005?”
 
"Right now, poised at the edge of the galaxy, Emperor Zurg has been secretly building a weapon with the destructive capacity to annihilate an entire planet! I, alone, have information that reveals this weapon's only weakness. And you, my friend are responsible for delaying my rendezvous with Star Command!"

"YOU. ARE. A. TOOOOYYI!"
"You aren't the real Buzz Lightyear, you're an- ah, you're an action figure! You are a child's plaything!"

"You are a sad, strange little man, and you have my pity. Farewell." (does Vulcan salute)

"Oh yeah, well good riddance, ya looney!"
"Rendezvous with Star Command..."
 
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