“It’s called a salad, you cow.”
“Is that what it is? My doctor has been telling me that I should be eat- WHAT DID YOU JUST CALL ME?!”
“Nothing.”
“Oh good. Cause you’re no model yourself.”
“What’s that? Oh it’s one of the janitor’s mystery meat balls. I wouldn’t eat that if I were you.”
“Is it vegan? It looks vegan.”
“Sigh. No, Cindy. It’s a meatball.”
"Gonpachiro, what are you doing over there??"
"I've told you a million times by now, it's Tanjiro. And I'm uh, cutting up ingredients."
"For what?"
"For.... THE GONPACHIRO PART-TIME CHEF HERO SHOW!!"
"..." *a studio set is placed around Tanjiro along with all kinds of ingredients and cameras are facing him*
"Relax, Inosuke! It's everybody's new hit favorite cooking show! See, I just take this here, and walah!" *crowd track plays ooos as Tanjiro shows a dish that looks like something you'd find in a dumpster*
"Just ask one of our many customers how they feel!" *random person walks on set*
"WOW! When Gonpachiro said he would transform my salad, I knew it would be good, but I didn't think it would be this good!" *person takes a bite and collapses on the ground as they walk off set, and money is thrown onto their body*
"Gordon Ramsay?? Never heard of him."
"So come on down to Gonpachiro's Part-Time Chef Hero restaurant today, and enjoy only the finest foods!" *Muzan watching on the TV*
"Haha, YES. I have finally found Tanjiro and his little siter... now for their location, let's see. It's Gonpachiro Part-Time Chef Hero's Incorporated... wait, wut?"
"So you aren't into fashion eh? Too bad! Then you can't have my hat!"
"no I'm into fashion and I have all the pairs of pants in the whole world [threatening voice] now GIVE me your HAT"
" 
