"Here we are, sir!"
"Ah, what a wonderful room. Just set me down on the bed."
"Ooh, this **** fits so good against my bowl."
*concierge begins to walk away*
"A-and could you please put the do not disturb sign on the door?"
"Of course sir!"
"And if you need anything at all, my name's Benji!"
"Thanks, Benji!"
*Klaus turns on the TV*
"If you're a parrot head, try Jimmy Buffet's Key West Saloon! Located downstairs in the lobby."
"From world-renowned chef Gordon Fukiyami, comes Roppongi, a bistro house with a salivation flair!"
"And if you're looking to get your funny bone tickled, don't miss Rita Rudner's hilarious live stand-up show!"
"Do you know the difference between a government bond and a man?"
"The bond matures..."
*Klaus laughs*
"Absolutely incredible!"
"And if it's night life you're after..."
*Klaus reaches over for his luggage, but breaks a bone in his back*
"Ow! My lower lumbar! Ohh..."
*Klaus sinks back down to the bottom of his bowl*
"Ugh, ******!"
*Klaus looks back at the TV screen, unable to move or go anywhere*
"If you're a parrot head, try Jimmy Buffet's Key West Saloon! Located downstairs in the lobby."
"From world-renowned chef Gordon Fukiyami, comes Roppongi, a bistro house with a salivation flair!"
"Stay calm, Klaus... the maid will be here soon... she'll get you your back pills, and you'll be good to go!"
*But the maid passes the door and doesn't knock or open it because of the do not disturb sign*
*Some time passes and Klaus is reading off the TV lines as they play*
"Do you know the difference between a government bond and a man? The bond matures..."
"Absolutely incredible!"
*Klaus looks around with bloodshot eyes as the next commercial plays*
*He reaches for the TV remote, but can't even reach that*
*He tries to get back up, but injures another bone*
*Klaus begins to get dizzy watching the fan while repeating the TV lines again*
"Do you know the difference between a government bond and a man? The bond matures..."
"Absolutely incredible!"
"BENJIIIIIIIIIIIIII!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
*credits are rolling*
"Oh, Klaus, I heard you were in Atlantic City. Did you try that new restaurant, Roppongi?"
"I didn't go there to eat! I went there to improve myself, which I did do!"
"Oh yeah? In what way?"
"I'm just better, okay?!?"
"Klaus... chill out, we're all happy for you!"
"Well it doesn't sound like that. Geez! You guys need to be more like a government bond... and mature!"
"Hehe, Klaus, that's pretty funny. Did you just think of that?"
"I've been thinking about it for a few days..."
"BYE, HAVE A BEAUTIFUL TIME!"
