The out of context quotes thread

[Yoshi155]

How do you set fire to a swimming pool?

 

[QueenCobra]

“We caught the alligator who ate the DeLuca boy. There’s a path named after him, the DeLuca Boy Path.”

 

[Yoshi155]

You shoot one thing this entire trip, count 'em, ONE THING, and it's TWO of my last bottles of liquor?!!

 

[Yoshi155]

I haven't jacked off in over two weeks.

 

[spawnpoint]

i have done nothing but teleport bread for 3 days.

 

[QueenCobra]

“Vanilla Clown is a mysterious and androgynous being that works well with boys and girls that everyone is kind of attracted to. He’s human Adderall.”

 

[Yoshi155]

Are you aware that your husband isn't wearing any pants?

 

[Captain Jigglypuff]

I couldn't make a noise, who knew that he liked boys?
He must have been much further in the closet than my toys.

 

[Yoshi155]

79% of stair accidents happen on the stairs.

 

[ZeldaCrossing64]

"No problem. I'll bend the door open."

"You can't bend a wooden door!"

"I know that, you know that. But this door looks pretty stupid!"

 

[Yoshi155]

And when Brian Boitano built the pyramids, he beat up Kublai Khan!

*together* Cause Brian Boitano doesn't take **** from anybodyyyyy!… So let's call all the kids together! And unite to stop our moms! And we'll save Terrance and Phillip too, cause that's what Brian Boitano'd do! And we'll save Terrance and Phillip too, cause that's what Brian Boitano'd dooooo! Cause that's what Brian Boitano'd do!

 

[QueenCobra]

“You heard Hall and Oates, you blew it!”

 

[Yoshi155]

Cake?

Cake!

Yummy?

Yummy.

Mine?

*together* Mine! *start laughing adorably*

 

[Firesquids]

Find the lady of the light gone mad with the night

 

[Yoshi155]

Let us all rejoice, amen, on Christmas Day in the morning. Shelly is starting to get pissed, on Christmas Day, on Christmas Day, Shelly got up and killed the turds on Christmas DAY IN THE MORNING!

Ahhhh! (both get crushed by piano)

 

[Captain Jigglypuff]

“I’ll get you my pretty boy. AND YOUR LITTLE DOG TOO!”
“See? I’m Dorothy and you’re Toto!”
*Dana punches Steve*

 

[ZeldaCrossing64]

"Don't you take away my ability to have temper tantrums, alright?"

 

[Captain Jigglypuff]

“Does it really say that?”
”Yep! The book even has a commercial break!”
*Cut to a commercial break for the show*

 

[ZeldaCrossing64]

"Oh, come on. I grew up in the Midwest, I don't need to see another Christian rock band."

 

[Yoshi155]

Church time!

Chuuurch!

Clay, are you church ready?

You betty church church! And a church we church!

Ooh, I feel extra churchy today!

And church church churchiful churchy!

Church church church!

Chuuurch!

(In the tune of Jingle Bells) Churchy church! Churchy church! Churchy church church chuuurch!