xSuperMario64x
sleepy moon loaf ‧₊˚ ☾. ⋅
"I feel like it would be less disturbing if it's got some ketchup on it" -my coworker 2 minutes ago
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The out of context quotes thread
- Thread starter Midoriya
- Start date
Yukari Yakumo
Countless Violet Clouds
“There is a very interesting debate raging at the moment about the nature of sin, for example,” said Oats.
“And what do they think? Against it, are they?” said Granny Weatherwax.
“It’s not as simple as that. It’s not a black and white issue. There are so many shades of gray.”
“Nope.”
“Pardon?”
“There’s no grays, only white that’s got grubby. I’m surprised you don’t know that. And sin, young man, is when you treat people as things. Including yourself. That’s what sin is.
“It’s a lot more complicated than that –”
“No. It ain’t. When people say things are a lot more complicated than that, they means they’re getting worried that they won’t like the truth. People as things, that’s where it starts.”
“Oh, I’m sure there are worse crimes –”
“But they starts with thinking about people as things …”
“And what do they think? Against it, are they?” said Granny Weatherwax.
“It’s not as simple as that. It’s not a black and white issue. There are so many shades of gray.”
“Nope.”
“Pardon?”
“There’s no grays, only white that’s got grubby. I’m surprised you don’t know that. And sin, young man, is when you treat people as things. Including yourself. That’s what sin is.
“It’s a lot more complicated than that –”
“No. It ain’t. When people say things are a lot more complicated than that, they means they’re getting worried that they won’t like the truth. People as things, that’s where it starts.”
“Oh, I’m sure there are worse crimes –”
“But they starts with thinking about people as things …”
Captain Jigglypuff
Leader of the Jigglypuff Army
“Please keep off of the grass. Shine your shoes. Wipe your… Face!”
ZeldaCrossing64
Jumpin' Jeepers!
"Like, good afternoon! My name is y'know, like, Lars Ulrich from Metallica. I worked for years to get where I am today. Years and years of playing clubs, and recording demo tapes. Me and my buddy, like, James Hetfield here had shed blood, sweat, and [****in'] beer to get where we are today!"
"BEER GOOD!"
"BEER GOOD!"
ZeldaCrossing64
Jumpin' Jeepers!
"Hi, Cliff. Got riff?"
Captain Jigglypuff
Leader of the Jigglypuff Army
“Tomorrow we’re going to Goodwill. Bobby’s ‘skinny’ clothes aren’t skinny!”
QueenCobra
Bret Hart’s callipygian sharpshooter
“I want to be loved by Japanese people.”
Yukari Yakumo
Countless Violet Clouds
"And you're sure this is where we can find this guy?"
"I think so. We all found out our new orders at the same time. He tried to hide his from me so I would not know where he was."
"Really? Can't imagine why."
"I said it was like a game of hide-and-seek, and he said that was right! He was going to hide from me. And the only way he could win is if he dies without ever seeing me again."
"I think so. We all found out our new orders at the same time. He tried to hide his from me so I would not know where he was."
"Really? Can't imagine why."
"I said it was like a game of hide-and-seek, and he said that was right! He was going to hide from me. And the only way he could win is if he dies without ever seeing me again."
"Knock-knock jokes have a very specific structure! They're based on switching expectations! I'll give you an example: knock knock!"
"Who's there?"
"Dwayne."
"Dwayne who?"
"Dwayne the bathtub! I'm dwowning!"
...
"Don't ya get it?"
"But you're not in a bathtub!"
"That's not the point! The point is, you were expecting someone named "Dwayne." But I switched it around! That's why it's funny!"
"It woulda been funnier if the bathtub pooped on your head!"
"WHAT IS IT WITH YOU AND POOP?"
"Who's there?"
"Dwayne."
"Dwayne who?"
"Dwayne the bathtub! I'm dwowning!"
...
"Don't ya get it?"
"But you're not in a bathtub!"
"That's not the point! The point is, you were expecting someone named "Dwayne." But I switched it around! That's why it's funny!"
"It woulda been funnier if the bathtub pooped on your head!"
"WHAT IS IT WITH YOU AND POOP?"
QueenCobra
Bret Hart’s callipygian sharpshooter
"The level of unprofessionalism, far too much."
Captain Jigglypuff
Leader of the Jigglypuff Army
“Now Pinky and the Brain
Share a new domain.
It’s what the network wants
Why bother to complain?”
Share a new domain.
It’s what the network wants
Why bother to complain?”
Yukari Yakumo
Countless Violet Clouds
"Old Navy became Target. Gap became Old Navy. Banana Republic became Gap."
"Did anybody become Banana Republic?"
"The United States."
"Goodness me! I'm done reading through this thread. This cannot be topped!"
"Did anybody become Banana Republic?"
"The United States."
"Goodness me! I'm done reading through this thread. This cannot be topped!"
xSuperMario64x
sleepy moon loaf ‧₊˚ ☾. ⋅
"you know who's poop is under David's nose? Party Phil's." -poofesure
QueenCobra
Bret Hart’s callipygian sharpshooter
“The Clinique lady says I have witch undertones.”
"Look, you can't tell the same joke over and over and expect it to still be funny! You can't do the same things again and again and expect to get a laugh! Ya gotta avoid repetition, shun redundancy, eschew reiteration, resist recapitulation, and also, stop telling the same joke over and over!"
Captain Jigglypuff
Leader of the Jigglypuff Army
“Dumbledore, I urge you to expel these monsters.”
“Oh Snape, let them have their flop doodle.”
“But you’re the one that banned the words in the first place!”
“I don’t even remember five minutes ago.”
“Oh Snape, let them have their flop doodle.”
“But you’re the one that banned the words in the first place!”
“I don’t even remember five minutes ago.”
lasagne_of_death
🍦 Average plastic dinosaur consumer 🍦
"Okay, I don't know what cartoons the good people at Level-5 watched as kids, but yes, you totally can save the world one day and have the same heroes chase after someone's pet the next."
The city sleeps beneath the icy stars. Every soul entranced by dreams—except for the assiduous insects. The fluttering moths swoop in the streetlights, the crickets sing their soulful serenade, and down on the sidewalk, three flagitious fleas embark on a sinister assignment.
"We're NOT fleas!"
"Yes we are!!! That's the name of our gang!"
"We're NOT fleas!"
"Yes we are!!! That's the name of our gang!"
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