When people in fandoms respond to someone not enjoying an anime or something with "You didn't understand the point" or "you didn't watch the same show." Most of the time they won't even explain what the point is, like it's a cheap way to feel superior when that person knows that their view is just as subjective as anyone else's.
Deconstruction shows are ones that I will almost always dislike. In fact the word is becoming a breeding ground for pseudo-intellectual anime fans to tout their interpretation of vague symbolism as the one truth. The word Deconstruction is something that so many people can't even come to an agreement on.
"Deconstructions" also tend to take shows that are made for kids and add lots of grimdark to them and target them toward older audiences, which means fanboys will come out of the woodwork claiming that the deconstructed version of that thing is superior than the mindless "kiddy" thing it's based on.
While I respect the fact that protagonists like Shinji Ikari have troubled lives, and it's understandable that they'd be afraid or unwilling to fight, I'd much rather see a character overcome their problems instead of spending the majority of the show "realistically" angsting over it. It's fine to give a character flaws and insecurities, but in shows like this characters with psychological issues tend to be really unlikable.
It's satisfying to watch a protagonist work through their issues and come out on top, and be better people for it. If the show is just 200% misery and everything is pointless and all the protagonist does is cry, why should I care?