Jade_Amell
Greenjade
I really don't want to baby sit my cousins kids anymore. But if I tell them, they'll try to guilt trip me because their mom is the one that took me in when I was 7 years old. *sigh*
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What's bothering you?
- Thread starter Sanaki
- Start date
- Status
Hyoshido
Sometimes, he do miss
fixed
Ayy man, I might not be the guy who seems like good company or anythin' Just hit me up with a message on my profile or a PM if you need someone to talk to!
My girlfriend's ex keeps trying to talk to her with some sweet bull****, even though he has a new girlfriend, and she keeps obliging him. I tell her that she'd be better off without him and that this is only happening because the guy wants her as a back-up of sorts if things ever go wrong with his new girlfriend. Contact should be broken but I'm being told I'm just paranoid and that she would never fall for it. While I know she'd never willingly do so, I've met enough of these *******s to know he'd manipulate her into it. I don't want her to hurt herself (and me) by keeping this contact going, but I just get the cold shoulder whenever I try to talk about it.
marzipanmermaid
*insert Pikmin noises*
My life has basically slowly started to go down the drain. I'm probably never getting out of this stupid town. I'm all ****ed up in my head to the point where I don't even know what are my own thoughts/feelings half the time; I'm crying or on the verge of wanting to be dead almost every day. I'm struggling to handle repressed memories and events that have happened that no one understands. Everything/one triggers me and I don't know who I am anymore. It sucks. My parents have no aspirations for me other than glorified baby sitter. They think my depression is fake, an excuse to be lazy, a "Get Out of Jail Free" card. I'm put down constantly for how I look, in my own house, and it's gotten to the point where I hate being home for any period of time because I'll just be criticized for eating or my clothes. I cry every time I have to go home. I beg people to keep me out late so I don't have to be in that hell hole. I'm being forced to apply for any job, no matter how I feel about it, because *I'm* the one killing the family. I don't want to work at the stupid daycare; kids trigger me and I don't need more stress. But my parents make a point to open their mouths to the stupid neighbors about my lack of employment whenever there's a chance.
My mum almost died from an infection; I stayed with her in the hospital and helped take care of her. Why does she hate me now? Every day, she yells at me and makes me feel small. What did I do? Am I that awful? Am I? You know the crap you say to me stresses me out so much that I've started and re-started my period? How do you think I felt when you yelled at me for an hour and I bleed through my shorts out of nowhere? And I tell you and all I get is: "You're probably knocked up." You know how that makes me paranoid. Earlier this week, I ate some expired food from the school cafeteria. Instead of being concerned, she's mad I ate. I could've gotten really sick and she's mad I was "eating junk." Notice how I don't affectionately refer to her as "mum" anymore. She's not my mum; I don't know who she is. Mum wouldn't do this.
Dad, you're a drunk. Yeah, you work. You provide. You pay for everything. You don't have to remind us every day. You yelled at me for taking a nap yesterday. You call mom to ask what I've done, what I'm doing, if I'm eating/sleeping. "All you do is go to school. Why are you sleeping?" Because I don't sleep at night because of my nightmares. Because I had an anxiety attack in the bathroom and tired myself out. Because I stayed up replaying the things you and mom have told me. Because once I woke up at 3 in the morning to being yelled at and laid in the bed and thought about how I'd finally end it. If it wasn't for Tyler already having special plans with me, who knows what I would've done.
I miss my Women's Psychology teacher because even after it's been years since I've been in her class, she knows what's going on and cares and she takes time out of her schedule to meet with me and make sense of the things I'm telling her. I can't find her anymore and every time I email, I stop and just...don't. I really want to see her. I want to tell her I've gotten worse and that I need help.
I wish I could move out to Cali with my best friend and her boyfriend; she'd let me take care of the special needs ferret and help with the non-profit and she'd help me. She has issues too and I wouldn't feel so alone. She's offered for Tyler and I to live with her. At this point, I'd live under a bridge to get away from home.
I wish Tyler wasn't becoming a cop but he's becoming one so he could take me away from this place. If he gets hurt, I'll never forgive myself.
My pelvis is hurting really bad today. It feels like someone is randomly kicking or standing on it. I gave up on going to the doctor for it. Maybe if something bad happens to me, my parents will like me again.
My cat doesn't sleep with me anymore and as small as that is, it makes me sad... Why do you sleep with them? They don't love you. They're mean to you all the time...
My mum almost died from an infection; I stayed with her in the hospital and helped take care of her. Why does she hate me now? Every day, she yells at me and makes me feel small. What did I do? Am I that awful? Am I? You know the crap you say to me stresses me out so much that I've started and re-started my period? How do you think I felt when you yelled at me for an hour and I bleed through my shorts out of nowhere? And I tell you and all I get is: "You're probably knocked up." You know how that makes me paranoid. Earlier this week, I ate some expired food from the school cafeteria. Instead of being concerned, she's mad I ate. I could've gotten really sick and she's mad I was "eating junk." Notice how I don't affectionately refer to her as "mum" anymore. She's not my mum; I don't know who she is. Mum wouldn't do this.
Dad, you're a drunk. Yeah, you work. You provide. You pay for everything. You don't have to remind us every day. You yelled at me for taking a nap yesterday. You call mom to ask what I've done, what I'm doing, if I'm eating/sleeping. "All you do is go to school. Why are you sleeping?" Because I don't sleep at night because of my nightmares. Because I had an anxiety attack in the bathroom and tired myself out. Because I stayed up replaying the things you and mom have told me. Because once I woke up at 3 in the morning to being yelled at and laid in the bed and thought about how I'd finally end it. If it wasn't for Tyler already having special plans with me, who knows what I would've done.
I miss my Women's Psychology teacher because even after it's been years since I've been in her class, she knows what's going on and cares and she takes time out of her schedule to meet with me and make sense of the things I'm telling her. I can't find her anymore and every time I email, I stop and just...don't. I really want to see her. I want to tell her I've gotten worse and that I need help.
I wish I could move out to Cali with my best friend and her boyfriend; she'd let me take care of the special needs ferret and help with the non-profit and she'd help me. She has issues too and I wouldn't feel so alone. She's offered for Tyler and I to live with her. At this point, I'd live under a bridge to get away from home.
I wish Tyler wasn't becoming a cop but he's becoming one so he could take me away from this place. If he gets hurt, I'll never forgive myself.
My pelvis is hurting really bad today. It feels like someone is randomly kicking or standing on it. I gave up on going to the doctor for it. Maybe if something bad happens to me, my parents will like me again.
My cat doesn't sleep with me anymore and as small as that is, it makes me sad... Why do you sleep with them? They don't love you. They're mean to you all the time...
My stomach is upset and I haven't even ate anything.
My words are tiny compared to what is happening to you, but I really hope things get better for you. Things seem really grim right now, but if you keep working towards a future that will make you happy, I know you'll get there. Stay strong.
Jade_Amell
Greenjade
*hugs* I'm sorry things are so bad for you.
MisterEnigma
Senior Member
Mom treating me like **** again. What else is new.
n'aw. The nail is dead.
Shirohibiki
it's a beautiful bikini bottom day!
trying to be positive, but very worried about all the memory loss/other side effects from the ECTs. still though, i will try to remain positive! and good luck to everyone else! <3
I guess you're also the type of person who throws away an entire bag of grapes when a few of them are bad.
ShinyYoshi
🌺🌺🌺🌺
Lack of motivation to go to class.. Or do anything today
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