spCrossing
80s anime is cool
I just woke up from a nap....
Man, my sleeping habits are terrible.
Man, my sleeping habits are terrible.
What's bothering you?
- Thread starter Sanaki
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KiloPatches
Senior Member
I empathize with that statement :S
emmatheweirdo
my anaconda dont want nun
It's getting closer and closer to Christmas every day... I know normally, that would make people super happy, but honestly, Christmas is always one of the saddest holidays for me. Up until I was about 6 years old, Christmas was the best. I was always so happy with what I found under the tree and I was so grateful for all of it. When my family moved away and my dad left his job to start a new one up north, everything changed. His job fell though and would you believe it, 14 years later and funding STILL hasn't come through. That's when the financial troubles really began. Before we moved, my dad had a stroke, leaving him unable to walk except for a few feet. Over time, it's gotten worse and now he is confined to his wheel chair except to get into bed and such. Because of this, he can't work. So he is on disability and that is how we get our means of living. My mom has tried to work, but she's so stressed all the time from all of the jobs she works. When I was younger, I didn't work and as of right now, I don't work because I'm a full time student in college and have no time for it.
So Christmas was always a struggle. I maybe got one or two small things or just one bigger thing, sometimes even less than that. My parents would get used items from friends and say it was from Santa when my brother and I were younger, but I always found out. It was always so tough growing up and coming back to school being so happy with the one or two things I got and then hear my friends talking about all the awesome stuff they got or even showing me the brand new game console or toy that I really wanted too. After a while, I just grew to expect it, but it still hurt. I never let anyone know though, I just couldn't in fear of being made fun of since I got enough of that already.
This year is no different except we have even less than we've had in the past couple of years. I spent the past week at my boyfriend's house and helped his mom put up the tree. Within a day, there were already 10 presents wrapped and under the tree. That's more than we had total last year. It kinda made my heart sink a little, but I couldn't let anyone see it.
My mom was saying we each get one thing this year, probably no more than $20 each. That's WAY less than past years. I mean, last year I got a Nook tablet and my brother got a WiiU and the year before that I got a camera and he got a 3DS. That's something else that bothers me though. Whenever we can afford more expensive things, he always gets the better end of it. My Nook was on sale for like $50 and he got a brand new deluxe black WiiU. My camera the year before that was not even $100 and he got a black 3DS. It's just never seemed quite fair to me. Even when we have little, he gets more. I don't know why that is, but I'm afraid to ask because every time I've brought up them liking him more they just yell at me. Apparently everything is my fault around here, according to my parents. I've kinda started to just give up, but it still makes me sad.
And yes, I know there are people that have WAY less than me and I should be grateful. And I am, it just hurts when I see people so happy when they talk about all the things they got and I sit here with a pair of jeans. And yeah, I know that's not what Christmas is all about too. It's just what every one focuses on and when it's like that, it's hard not to be sad given my situation.
Christmas is about giving too though! But the thing is, I can't even buy the love of my life a Christmas present because I have no money and my mom refuses to let me borrow even $5. Which makes sense since we barely have enough for ourselves, but I just wanna get him something nice to show him that even though I don't have much, he means more to me than any gift I could ever receive, but I can't even do that.
Sorry for this long rant. I just needed to get this out of my mind and written out. Happy Holidays everyone. I hope you have a better season than mine.
So Christmas was always a struggle. I maybe got one or two small things or just one bigger thing, sometimes even less than that. My parents would get used items from friends and say it was from Santa when my brother and I were younger, but I always found out. It was always so tough growing up and coming back to school being so happy with the one or two things I got and then hear my friends talking about all the awesome stuff they got or even showing me the brand new game console or toy that I really wanted too. After a while, I just grew to expect it, but it still hurt. I never let anyone know though, I just couldn't in fear of being made fun of since I got enough of that already.
This year is no different except we have even less than we've had in the past couple of years. I spent the past week at my boyfriend's house and helped his mom put up the tree. Within a day, there were already 10 presents wrapped and under the tree. That's more than we had total last year. It kinda made my heart sink a little, but I couldn't let anyone see it.
My mom was saying we each get one thing this year, probably no more than $20 each. That's WAY less than past years. I mean, last year I got a Nook tablet and my brother got a WiiU and the year before that I got a camera and he got a 3DS. That's something else that bothers me though. Whenever we can afford more expensive things, he always gets the better end of it. My Nook was on sale for like $50 and he got a brand new deluxe black WiiU. My camera the year before that was not even $100 and he got a black 3DS. It's just never seemed quite fair to me. Even when we have little, he gets more. I don't know why that is, but I'm afraid to ask because every time I've brought up them liking him more they just yell at me. Apparently everything is my fault around here, according to my parents. I've kinda started to just give up, but it still makes me sad.
And yes, I know there are people that have WAY less than me and I should be grateful. And I am, it just hurts when I see people so happy when they talk about all the things they got and I sit here with a pair of jeans. And yeah, I know that's not what Christmas is all about too. It's just what every one focuses on and when it's like that, it's hard not to be sad given my situation.
Christmas is about giving too though! But the thing is, I can't even buy the love of my life a Christmas present because I have no money and my mom refuses to let me borrow even $5. Which makes sense since we barely have enough for ourselves, but I just wanna get him something nice to show him that even though I don't have much, he means more to me than any gift I could ever receive, but I can't even do that.
Sorry for this long rant. I just needed to get this out of my mind and written out. Happy Holidays everyone. I hope you have a better season than mine.
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KiloPatches
Senior Member
Take a moment to BREATHE. Inhale deeply for a count of four..... hold for a count of 2.... exhale for a count of 3.... repeat. Try making a study plan for the work you have to do and when you can do it. Humbly request extensions for some things if you can. You need to sleep. Try taking a hot bath, or having non-caffeinated tea, or reading a book, or listening to sooting music like ocean waves to drift you off to sleep. Listen to some Guided Meditations - Just YouTube Search "Guided Mediations" or "Positive Affirmations" - there are TONS. Be sure to take care you YOU. Make sure you are eating, sleeping, bathing, etc.... You don't want to spiral out of control.
KiloPatches
Senior Member
No, I honestly think you raise some valid points. You're not being selfish or ungrateful. Truthfully in your shoes I would feel the same way - unfairly treated. That there was favouritism going on. My Christmases haven't been the greatest either, since my Mom was severely ill and in a coma for 4 months around Christmas when I was 8. She died when I was 19. My Dad doesn't give two ****s about me. He is too preoccupied with his girlfriend and his drinking to even care about me or financially support me even though he is well-off. Christmas sucks. Last year I spent over $200 buying gifts for my boyfriend's side of the family - everyone including extended family - and mailed it to show that even though we are in university and 5 hours away, we still think of them, even though we couldn't visit. What did we get? A small box with candy canes and other chocolate in it to share. We are "out of sight, out of mind". THAT was unfair. We are broke university students and I spent $200 on them meanwhile they have hearty incomes and they mail us chocolate and candy? They asked what we want this year, and I simply said "money, for next semester's textbooks". My boyfriend asked for the same thing. But I totally hear you.
emmatheweirdo
my anaconda dont want nun
I'm so sorry to hear about your mom and lack of a fatherly dad :cc we're so luck that my dad didn't die from his stroke even though the doctors said he would. doctors discovered cancer in my mom last month so a lot of out money has gone to that, but everything is okay with her now. not even nearly as bad as your situation and i'm deeply sorry :c If I had the money, I'd send you and your lovely bf a gift! I'd make something, but I can't even afford the shipping ;w;
it's like this all year though with the favoritism thing. especially around birthdays and Christmas. last year, my party? didn't happen. I literally got nothing for my birthday expect my boyfriend at the time called me butthole (except not butt) and dumped me the next day. my brother got a HUGE party and my mom bought tons of food and stuff for him and he got money to get SSB4 when it came out (since his birthday was only a week before it's release). he also got a bunch of stuff from his friends. granted, i have no friends that live here so a party really wouldn't have happened anyway, but he still got more from them than I did, which was nothing at all. Pretty much everything I own (besides clothes and bed sheets and such) were bought by me (or a bunch of my nerdy collectibles i won on Tumblr or my bf bought for me). I saved up for flipping EVER to buy my 2DS and every game I've bought myself when the ones my brother owns, my parents bought for him. The list goes on forever tbh. I'm just kinda getting sick of it :c
KiloPatches
Senior Member
When I was 8 my mom had 8 strokes too and she was never the same after that. She had pneumonia, meningitis, was paralyzed on the right hand side, and had open heart surgery because her aorta heart valve needed to be replaced. I visited her in the ICU every day. Even at 8 years old.
I am 24 years old now. My boyfriend is 25. We are both in University. We have been together for 6 years and met in university in 2008. For my 24th birthday, we were SO BROKE it was unreal. We struggled to get rent paid (we have been living together for 3 years) and we had no money left over. My birthday is on the 23rd of September and our anniversary is on the 20th. We managed to have a nice dinner to celebrate our anniversary, but we had NO money to do ANYTHING for my birthday. My boyfriend made me a cake in a blender
But I hosted a birthday party in Animal Crossing. I spent my 24th birthday playing online in ACNL with my best friends that I met here on TBT! I handed out TONS of party favours, decorated a party room, the whole nine yards..... Because that's all I could afford. Halloween too. I spent it on ACNL instead of going out and dressing up. ACNL is always there for me to celebrate holidays when I have no money to celebrate them otherwise..... That's so sweet you would get/make me something for me and my boyfriend
You don't even know me! You're a sweetheart. <3 *hugs*
ayy lmao
my dogs surgery is tomorrow and I'm stressssing
and I have to work until midnight all anxious and whatnot and then get up at 6 tomorrow because her appointment is really early and the place is far away
I just want to talk to the vet before she goes in and the girl that called me was like, "well you can explain everything to the technician" and I'm like NO YOU'LL GET HIM TO CALL ME >:l
I just want it to all be over with and her to be fine ;c
and I have to work until midnight all anxious and whatnot and then get up at 6 tomorrow because her appointment is really early and the place is far away
I just want to talk to the vet before she goes in and the girl that called me was like, "well you can explain everything to the technician" and I'm like NO YOU'LL GET HIM TO CALL ME >:l
I just want it to all be over with and her to be fine ;c
thanks, but i've tried just about everything to relax and the only thing i can think about is how unproductive i'm being and how i need to be doing my work. i'm not behind on anything, but due dates are just piling up for multiple classes and i just can't focus on anything anymore. i have to choose which class i do my homework in every night because i don't have time to do all homework for every class.
i have a presentation to do tomorrow and i'm unprepared for it, i'm just ready to face the embarrassment of public speaking and get everything over with. on top of all of the regular work to do for school, i've somehow got to find weekends to take the SAT & ACT and come up with the money for those tests, then I have to come up with money for three AP exams & a dual enrollment exam and it's just so hard not having any money all the time because all my money goes to school.
i'll be fine at the end of this year though. i'm trying to graduate next december and maybe then i can stop stressing out so much
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