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What's bothering you?
- Thread starter Sanaki
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lazuli
Senior Member
i have no idea who i am or who i want to be i have no identity of my own i am generic and boring and i have very little friends. only friends i have are online ones bc they dont see how terrible i am
i have no personality of my own i dont want to be anybody but i have to continue doing well in school so my mom doesnt see me as a failure
i want to go away
but not die, in a sense
just fade away into nothing because i am useless and nobody needs me
i have no personality of my own i dont want to be anybody but i have to continue doing well in school so my mom doesnt see me as a failure
i want to go away
but not die, in a sense
just fade away into nothing because i am useless and nobody needs me
ThomasNLD
Keep the wolves away
My father thought I was tired because I was drunk on sunday. It was because of trouble sleeping, depression and meds.
I`m not bothered he didn`t get that, because thats just how it has Always been, but it does bother me HUGELY that there is no way to convince him otherwise.
Because from his train of thought, its his profound "I`m always right" and a completely functional adult (his reality), vs the opinion of a drunk underachiever.
Maybe I should try and buy one of those tests cops use with traffic controls.
Parents pfff. Thank the heavens I`ll never become one. Its amazing how the whole special connection things blows up in your face daily, because it makes you actually give a damn about what they think of you or how they see you. Even though they can proof countless times they have no clue who you are.
But other then that I`m peachy.
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I`m not bothered he didn`t get that, because thats just how it has Always been, but it does bother me HUGELY that there is no way to convince him otherwise.
Because from his train of thought, its his profound "I`m always right" and a completely functional adult (his reality), vs the opinion of a drunk underachiever.
Maybe I should try and buy one of those tests cops use with traffic controls.
Parents pfff. Thank the heavens I`ll never become one. Its amazing how the whole special connection things blows up in your face daily, because it makes you actually give a damn about what they think of you or how they see you. Even though they can proof countless times they have no clue who you are.
But other then that I`m peachy.
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I`m not exactly in a profound mood today, but this touched me. Nobody is generic, you are a unique individual. If you want others to see that, you will have to work on trying to see that for yourself first. With the risk of sounding like Oprah Winfrey; I see one person that needs you; its you. Nothing ever gets accomplished by overthinking it, actions speak volume. There is only one person looking back at you when you gaze into a mirror and it isn`t your mother.... Try and walk your own path, deep in your heart i`m sure you will know which way to go. You say you have no personality, yet you say with a sense of dread that nobody needs you and you have few/litle friends. That might tell you, that you are a social individual. You say you are a terrible person, that tells me you care about your actions and your sense of self.
I get the feeling you have of wanting to fade away. Sooner or later that day will come for us all. I dream of it a lot myself. Meaning can be found in many ways. I have 0 friends, but I found meaning in (part of) my family, my obsession with writing a book someday and giving back something to people walking similar lifepaths as me, by working/volunteering as a social worker.
We are not the same and I realize that, but I wonder to what extent your words come from the same place as mine did. From a deep fear for change/undertaking action. Change is inevitable, sitting still, still changes a person. By moving you can personally direct the way change is headed, to some level.
If none of my words make sense to you or inspire you, atleast know that reading posts like yours truly touch my heart. It hurts me seeing people go through similar things as I did (and still do). Atleast know I truly hope things change for you.
I get the feeling you have of wanting to fade away. Sooner or later that day will come for us all. I dream of it a lot myself. Meaning can be found in many ways. I have 0 friends, but I found meaning in (part of) my family, my obsession with writing a book someday and giving back something to people walking similar lifepaths as me, by working/volunteering as a social worker.
We are not the same and I realize that, but I wonder to what extent your words come from the same place as mine did. From a deep fear for change/undertaking action. Change is inevitable, sitting still, still changes a person. By moving you can personally direct the way change is headed, to some level.
If none of my words make sense to you or inspire you, atleast know that reading posts like yours truly touch my heart. It hurts me seeing people go through similar things as I did (and still do). Atleast know I truly hope things change for you.
KiloPatches
Senior Member
I try to make a thread to vent about my awful kidney stones to see if anyone can relate to my problems (http://www.belltreeforums.com/showthread.php?256908-Kidney-Stones-The-WORST), and the first person who comments heckles me with sarcasm:
Why..... was that necessary???? Do I repeat myself on the forums too much? Are you accusing me of being a Troll? Am I annoying to you?
.........
Why..... was that necessary???? Do I repeat myself on the forums too much? Are you accusing me of being a Troll? Am I annoying to you?
.........
KiloPatches
Senior Member
Are you stalking me now?! I found your comment quite hurtful and offensive! Yes! What more do you want from me?! So I look to others to show that harassment exists - ie: YOU! I look to others because your comment caused me distress, so I come here! That's 2 threads. Can you answer my questions please?! Or can you leave me the **** alone?!
Don't worry too much about him. He loves to troll on the forum. Relax. Just ignore him and move on.
Karla is like 4th top poster in this thread, so no he is not stalking you. Although I feel for you if you have been hurt, parading it on a public thread and expecting privacy is a bit anti-productive. Maybe try using the blog tree?
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o sorry you read my mind
KiloPatches
Senior Member
I appreciate your input. I am starting to learn the friendly and not-so-friendly faces around TBT......
nah u read my mind bae
just be thankful u dont have kidney stones
KiloPatches
Senior Member
Did you not read what he wrote on here?!?! The sheer insulting TONE! It doesn't matter if he is the 4th top poster on THIS thread, he MOCKED me for making a thread about kidney stones, CLEARLY stalking my "EVERY" post on "EVERY" thread about my kidney stones and common law boyfriend as though he feels I am trying to draw attention to myself and, wrongly accusing me of that, dislikes that characteristic about me, posts sarcastic troll-ish comments that are hurtful and mean when I reach out to people. He exaggerates, he is sarcastic, he is a bully, and he has no right to say any of those things to me without being reported.
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See? Luckypinch can't even complain about their problems without him chiming in with a sarcastic comment! Its rude ands uncalled for! This should be a friendly forum! Peopler should be free to vent what they want!
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im rly not stalking u lamo, i just have a thing called a memory that associates certain things with certain ppl. so i read thru threads and everytime i see a post by u, it contains the words 'kidney stones' and 'common-law boyfriend', my brain (which is not rly so different to other ppls) makes the connection.
but ye i do feel like ur trying to draw attention to urself.
KiloPatches
Senior Member
I am sorry to hear that. No matter WHAT he says. Your problems are NOT less than mine......
I have the opposite problem....
Please don't be offend but I don't think your fat.
Hyoshido
Sometimes, he do miss
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