skarmoury
½ sugar
skarmoury's Creature:
After around 2 years of serving the organization, I'm leaving because I feel like I don't belong there.
It's not that it's anyone's fault, I just realized that those people aren't the people I feel comfortable working with, and as an introvert it stresses me out that I always feel alone while everyone else is out there creating cliques and what not. It's a heavy feeling and sometimes I've cried because of it and I hate how it's so hard to talk to someone about it because they're all part of a clique.
What makes me angry though are the people who say, "Why don't you just try to talk to those people? You're not putting an effort into it. Join the dinners and the parties etc. etc." And believe me when I say I did put an effort! It's not like I'm not totally shutting myself out from the world, I've made friends quicker in the past year and even met my boyfriend a year after I joined the organization. I really don't think my effort was the problem, but sometimes you just don't fit in, y'know? And I wished they respected that, or at least understood that. It's like telling a depressed person, "Don't be sad, just try to be happy!" when you yourself don't know the feeling of depression. What I want is for someone to understand how I feel, not tell me what I look like I'm doing wrong.
So here's a big **** you to the people of the org who claim themselves to be advocates for mental health but really miss the point or the underlying issue. I know mental health isn't my case but it's the understanding and the support that I need, not the ****ty pep talk which ends up with people being mad at me for not "trying". It's like, these people will never fully understand how I feel because they've never experienced it, but at least try to hear me out and listen to my side... it's not that hard.
It's not that it's anyone's fault, I just realized that those people aren't the people I feel comfortable working with, and as an introvert it stresses me out that I always feel alone while everyone else is out there creating cliques and what not. It's a heavy feeling and sometimes I've cried because of it and I hate how it's so hard to talk to someone about it because they're all part of a clique.
What makes me angry though are the people who say, "Why don't you just try to talk to those people? You're not putting an effort into it. Join the dinners and the parties etc. etc." And believe me when I say I did put an effort! It's not like I'm not totally shutting myself out from the world, I've made friends quicker in the past year and even met my boyfriend a year after I joined the organization. I really don't think my effort was the problem, but sometimes you just don't fit in, y'know? And I wished they respected that, or at least understood that. It's like telling a depressed person, "Don't be sad, just try to be happy!" when you yourself don't know the feeling of depression. What I want is for someone to understand how I feel, not tell me what I look like I'm doing wrong.
So here's a big **** you to the people of the org who claim themselves to be advocates for mental health but really miss the point or the underlying issue. I know mental health isn't my case but it's the understanding and the support that I need, not the ****ty pep talk which ends up with people being mad at me for not "trying". It's like, these people will never fully understand how I feel because they've never experienced it, but at least try to hear me out and listen to my side... it's not that hard.
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