I want to talk to someone about these things. After her stroke and brain surgery, I've had to hold back on talking to my mum like I used to 10 years ago. She was the closest thing to me-- still is, but had to make changes to make sure she was in a positive state of mind. I don't want her stressing about my mess, even if I assure things are okay after I vent she's more stressed out than she should be in her state. Her health comes first. While I don't mind doing this for her as she is my everything, it has unfortunately taken a toll on me for the past decade and I'm really feeling it.
I've been wanting to maybe talk to a professional for the past few years when I finally admitted to myself that I need help. However, I just have one more obstacle: money. While the clinic I go to allows me to pay a bit less money, I still have unable to work thanks to me being sick the past 6 months. Bills are already piling up. I'm praying for a miracle that I can find this kind of help, because I feel like I've tried everything else with little progress.
