What's Bothering You?

My parents are always dragging me into their problems because they always think I'm their go to person when solving problems. I legit had a mental breakdown because they were yelling at each other and I just could take it anymore. They really made me feel more worse and especially mom let her anger out on me.

I'm trying to sell stuff online to make money, but it's becoming a real pain lately. This financial situation has gotten so bad that my mom had sell some of her Jewelry at a pawn shop to get money the thing is she really wants her Jewelry back when she get money next month but she is more worried about her Jewelry than the bills.

Before anyone asks I do get Social Security income. That's literally it. We no longer get food stamps. I submitted my application hoping I get it but I doubt it. Thats literally how my January 2023 has been going on with.
 
I've been so cold all day, I'm sitting in my room and my toes are numb. also exec dysfunction is getting in the way of me changing into something soft/warm and getting under my heated blanket.

also really tired and I kinda want to try to take a nap but I have so much to do still, like the island journal thing. I'm honestly so worn out from that and I've only submitted like 3 entries so far. I'll prob never play NH again after this (exaggerating ofc but I am gettin tired of playing and writing journal entries).
 
xSuperMario64x said:
also really tired and I kinda want to try to take a nap but I have so much to do still, like the island journal thing. I'm honestly so worn out from that and I've only submitted like 3 entries so far. I'll prob never play NH again after this (exaggerating ofc but I am gettin tired of playing and writing journal entries).
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Honestly felt this in my soul, LMAO. I only have 4 entries so far and the deadline is starting to creep up. I've been so busy with work and everything else in my life, but just, whenever I decide to play I'm just like what am I doing? Even without other games I'd rather play, every time I make an entry I just get more and more burned out. New Leaf and previous iterations really were better AC games.
 
I really freaking hate my parents sometimes. We were watching a show and there was a trans dude on it, and I was getting excited because “queer person! yes!” and apparently I was acting too interested because they think I’m trans now. Like yes, I am lgbtq+, no I’m not telling you because the last time I tried to come out you told me I’m too young to know, I made the wrong choice (as if it is a choice at all), and I’ll grow out of it when I find the right person. That and I know they’re gonna get mad about my new name and pronouns.
 
Why am I even considering telling my dad I want to identify as a male when he’s openly against it despite being okay with LGB(not the T)? I hear transphobic comments every day. Not about me but about other trans people. He said yesterday that five year olds can’t decide what’s in their pants and they’re (the government) trying to make it okay for five year olds to decide if they’re trans or not even though it’s not a decision so idk.

It’s a decision to keep it to yourself and convince yourself otherwise because of transphobic people around you. That’s the decision. That’s why I’ve just found it easier to just be female even though I hated it. At least I can be open online.
 
Croconaw said:
Why am I even considering telling my dad I want to identify as a male when he’s openly against it despite being okay with LGB(not the T)? I hear transphobic comments every day. Not about me but about other trans people. He said yesterday that five year olds can’t decide what’s in their pants and they’re (the government) trying to make it okay for five year olds to decide if they’re trans or not even though it’s not a decision so idk.

It’s a decision to keep it to yourself and convince yourself otherwise because of transphobic people around you. That’s the decision. That’s why I’ve just found it easier to just be female even though I hated it. At least I can be open online.
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people who think gender and biological sex are the same thing are so ignorant, it's actually sad. I'm contemplating using the incorrect pronouns w transphobes just to see how they feel about it. I'm sure my dad wouldn't appreciate being called "she/her" but hey, he wants to identify as a man and I (and you) want to identify as masculine, so we should all have the same rights. and if we don't have the right to be called by our preferred pronouns then maybe no one else should either?
I seriously just cannot understand the minds of transphobes, people can literally be whatever they want and no one else should have the right to tell someone what they need to be to please society. I'm sorry you have to deal with that, I definitely know how it feels.



I have to drive my mom to have a procedure done at around 7:20 tomorrow morning, so... that'll be fun 😭
 
my anxiety and paranoia has been like absolutely killing me lately ti the point where i am hyperventilating almost every day
 
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This sounds so minor but it just feels like everything I like the most is kind of contentious or something. Even in the Crash fanbase people don’t universally like NF or Crash 4. I’m on this one Crash server which is a really cool place but the most active people there generally hate Crash 4. I love Skylanders and just mentioning that series anywhere is a punching bag. NH is my fav AC by far. I don’t really wanna go on with examples and this is nothing personal but damn sometimes I feel like I have nobody to talk with about my interests because even when I find a cool group my opinions are out of place, I don’t try to be a contrarian but it feels like I may as well sometimes /:

Maybe it’s just because these days I don’t have the patience or excitement to share different opinions anymore. Idk. Lots of peoppe judge you just based on what media you like anyway and that sucks

edit, i am also increasingly tired of discord as a format. I never liked it as a replacement for forum, and tbh theres nothing to do except try to find the few living + cool forums that are left, and adjust although i have tried adjusting many times and it just isnt a fun app. I really hate that its the default for communities now
 
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exams has thrown my groove off so i haven't been sleeping very good lately. i slept at like 5 and woke up at 9. my head hurts a little and i feel off. since i did my final exam yesterday, i want to get back to my regular sleeping schedule.
 
I am currently having the worst mental health crisis I’ve had in seven years. I continue to keep hearing aggressive voices and I was just diagnosed with complex PTSD. The symptoms have been obvious for a long time.

I can’t even walk in public without hearing things and getting triggered. It’s torturous and my voices say I deserve it for the rest of my life.

I am getting mental health support soon, although it’s been difficult to find anything because my insurance is quite limited.

To make amends with the source of this anxiety, I will no longer post about my high school years online anymore. The things I did back then were dumb and not okay. Publicly sharing about the retaliation I got during during and after those years wasn’t much better. All it is is a sign that I haven’t been able to move on and that I can be extremely judgmental. I am genuinely sorry about what I did and I want to do better.
 
was gonna upload my pictures for today's ACNH journal entry but for some reason I do not have access to ImgBB at all. the entire website is down apparently, yet the images on here aren't broken so it's still hosting them. idk but it's annoying, cause I had to turn my switch all the way off to take the SD card out just to find out I can't transfer the pics rn.
 
This site‘s username policies suck. I can’t use an account associated with my default email address because they blocked that account saying it was an alternate account when it wasn’t. They need to fix these issues and let me use the account with my actual email address instead of me having to use this account with a temporary email address.
 
I woke up earlier than I usually do, cramps are starting to set in and I just want to use the bathroom but this ****in house only has one functional bathroom with 4 people living in it and OFCOURSE when I have to use it at my not normal time so does everyone else.

I want to rip out my overies.
 
ImgBB is still down so ig I'll have to upload my pics to Imgur even though I really hate that site, every time I post a pic on there literally for my personal use and nothing else it gets downvoted like 15 times. just thinking about using Imgur makes me mad.


I figured out how to keep my posts hidden, thank goodness. Imgur is such a toxic community I'm so glad I'm not active on there. I just wish ImgBB would go back online, I wonder what happened. it's been over 24 hours since it went offline and no updates or anything :/
 
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