What's Bothering You?

So glad I decided to up my meds because oh boy if I didn't I would've lost my **** several times today!! On the downside I've had too much caffeine and feel like I could square up to someone...and I'm the opposite of an aggressive person lmao
 
Fry’s littermate, Burger, is really sad and has been sleeping in Fry’s box on the kitchen island all day every day since Monday. It breaks my heart. Just look at his sad face. 🖤😭 Here’s our other cat, Doodle, trying to console him.
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I know this is really stupid and just a product of jealousy, but I don't like seeing other trans ppl be comfortable in their bodies bc they were able to have surgery/s done, bc it just reminds me that I'm not and prob won't be for a very long time. like I'm happy for them but just seeing them makes me want to cry.
 
Got into an argument with my dad about transgenders. He said he can “identify as an African American and it doesn’t make it true, but in our minds he should get special treatment since he identifies as black.” It doesn’t make any sense. This is the reason I’ve held it in. I didn’t tell anybody. I’ve only told my favorite person but she has to use she/her pronouns with me at work because my dad works there and I’m not out there either. I hate not feeling like I can be myself.
 
Got into an argument with my dad about transgenders. He said he can “identify as an African American and it doesn’t make it true, but in our minds he should get special treatment since he identifies as black.” It doesn’t make any sense. This is the reason I’ve held it in. I didn’t tell anybody. I’ve only told my favorite person but she has to use she/her pronouns with me at work because my dad works there and I’m not out there either. I hate not feeling like I can be myself.
with that logic I could say that he's a woman and because I believe it to be true then it must be true. just because he believes you're cisgender doesn't mean you are. stupidest ****ing logic ever.

also I apologize if you don't want me to reply to your posts. but I really do get where you're coming from, I deal with transphobia all the time (especially since I live in a pretty backward part of Ohio).


I saw a post in my fb memories abt my late cat Xander, I miss him so much 😞
 
It’s fine you’re replying to me! I’m glad someone understands where I’m coming from. It just sucks that I’m literally 25 and I’m still in the closet because I’m not able to move away just yet. I want to start living as trans in a new area where nobody knows me but it feels like it’d be too late at that point. I want to start T eventually but that definitely won’t be for another two or three years.

After the fact though, I will be hesitant to keep in contact with family because my voice will definitely change on T and yeah.., that’s a bridge I’ll cross when I come to it.
 
I feel like my job is turning me into an absolute *****. These past couple of weeks I've been so direct, straight to the point, no bull****. I've been frustrated with my staff this week, and I usually never get angry with them.

I don't know if I'm being rude (bc I can't read the room), over reacting or maybe it's because I've never spoken to my manager about my true feelings before. Maybe I've created such an aura that I'm calm and collected, but now my true colors are showing. And it feels kinda good?? It feels like I have some sort of control over things?? Is the power going to my head?? Am I turning into a *****??

It's getting to the point at work where I know where I stand in regards to my experience and relations with staff/clients/suppliers. I've made so much progress and I don't want to lose it when I change departments.
 
A piece of my funko pop broke off because I dropped it T T i swear these figures need to come with bases
 
I need to get up and actually start doing stuff but it's so cold in this bedroom :,,,,,,)
I'm just praying that I can get moving at all, yesterday I was tired for the entire day and I don't want a repeat of that.
 
The voices haven't been talking to me for a few days which is good, but I have to keep reminding myself every hour or so that what they say isn't true and that no one is interfering with my social life. Just a few more days and I can finally get real intensive therapy. I'll finally be able to become a better person. No more staring habit, no more scaring friends off, and no more being reminded of my past mistakes...
 
It’s fine you’re replying to me! I’m glad someone understands where I’m coming from. It just sucks that I’m literally 25 and I’m still in the closet because I’m not able to move away just yet. I want to start living as trans in a new area where nobody knows me but it feels like it’d be too late at that point. I want to start T eventually but that definitely won’t be for another two or three years.

After the fact though, I will be hesitant to keep in contact with family because my voice will definitely change on T and yeah.., that’s a bridge I’ll cross when I come to it.
I'm cis but it's definitely never too late to start transitioning; my friend started T when they were about 24 and it's done a lot of good for them, although they're no longer using it because they got what they wanted out of it (mostly just voice deepening). I hope you're able to start your transition at some point and in a safe way.
 
Not me thinking I'd be all good to go for a quick swim in the ocean when it's hot without sunscreen on...and getting absolutely burnt to a crisp 🥵
 
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