What's Bothering You?

Sometimes I feel so out of place here, lol. I’m feeling things I can’t really talk about here nor do I want to make it seem like I’m attention seeking. I don’t even play Animal Crossing much anymore and I feel like I’m different from others here. Like, I really don’t “click” with anyone. Not that it’s a bad thing, but it’s like, why am I here? What’s my purpose? Do I really make a difference?

I’m looking forward to the upcoming summer event… can’t lie about that. Maybe I can actively participate in that?
 
Just having a life crisis moment again…so it’s official, I’ve changed departments at work. But my boss (old boss now) said to me “spend some time in roading, but you’ve done well in water and with industry changes water is the way to go”. Bro don’t hit me with that, I just started to get comfortable with the thought of roading and feeling like I’ve made the right choice to stay rather than go to another company as a 3 waters engineer LMAO. I’m just so conflicted with what I want to do. Then again I wasn’t in the right mind space at all to make a job change and when the opportunity came up.
 
One of my online friends was ranting to me about a certain singer for a while last night and it was just really depressing to hear. I tried to be nice about it but I didn't wanna be a part of the whole thing. I woke up this morning to 30-something messages from them, still talking about the situation which eventually morphed into self-loathing. (example: "I don't deserve to be listened to anyways...")
I feel bad about my friend of course, but I'm not in the right place mentally to help others with their problems. I don't wanna just be like "I don't wanna hear it, stop talking about it" but I also don't wanna keep quiet and let them continue when it's just making me feel down afterwards.
 
ZeldaCrossing64 said:
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if you're not in a good enough place mentally to help others with their problems or listen to others (especially if doing so is making you feel even worse) then definitely let them know that. your health is more important than anything else. I know you're not asking for advice so I don't want to go on, but it really is so important that you look after yourself and help yourself first before you try to help others.


off topic but that reminded me of my ex. he would use self-depreciating language all the time, and I know how it can be cause there was a time when I was that way, but it got incredibly annoying bc he absolutely refused to find any help at all. in that scenario the self-depreciation is just their way of getting attention and it's aggravating. I can't imagine being miserable like that and not wanting help.
I'm not here to bash him though, that's not my intent. but it's crazy to me that some ppl think it's okay to be in a relationship w someone just to have them act as their therapist without consent. it was hard to break it off but I had to do it for my own sanity.
 
love when i accidentally bump into my cat/sit on her tail/paws and, even though she is absolutely fine, my brain is like "you hurt her so bad. she will never recover and she will hate you forever."

also, idk if this is me staying up too late, spending too much time on screens, or just the way my brain works, but ican't focus on studying rn. my brain in completely empty, but it also hurts? i only have the mental capacity to watch youtube videos for an obscene amount of time :)
 
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it's so difficult to love someone you can never have. waiting for the day to come, holding out hope for them, but the day never comes. I don't think I could ever love anyone else though. so I'll just keep on waiting 😞



I'm really just over here being an emotional mess today aren't I?
 
xSuperMario64x said:
it's so difficult to love someone you can never have. waiting for the day to come, holding out hope for them, but the day never comes. I don't think I could ever love anyone else though. so I'll just keep on waiting 😞



I'm really just over here being an emotional mess today aren't I?
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*big hugs* I remember that feeling. That is a terrible feeling, and I’m so sorry that it’s the feeling that is taking over today. My inbox is open, as always. ❤️
 
I cant believe that stationery is so expensive, my trip to the store of mostly stationery items was almost $30. THIRTY STINKIN' DOLLARS! bro. stop. making. things. so. expensive. Bye bye to my money 😢 💸

I mean, i did choose to buy it but it should probably be a crime to charge this much money lol 🤑
 
4481F845-5404-4C0C-8C84-5308FC74AE69.png

literally thought a keychain of this person was amity from the owl house and embarrassed myself at hot topic (to be fair it didn’t look like gaz either, it looked more like amity)
 
sometimes I hyperfixate on something I really wish I wasn't hyperfixating on, and thinking about it constantly gets really stressful 😖

also been worried abt being overbearing lately, I know I can get that way sometimes and I don't want to cause people stress bc of me being overbearing
 
So my mom and I go to the same therapist. She had an appointment, and she was running late because of my dad. When she got there, she was about 30 minutes late, and the receptionist was gonna charge her a $60 late fee (which is completely understandable). My mom decided to go full Karen mode and say how ridiculous it is and blah blah blah. Then, our therapist walks out from her office, and my mom confronts her about the $60 fee, in which our therapist replies, "I don't make the rules." My mom didn't like that, and she stormed out of the office. So now, she's finding us a new therapist (yay 😐), and the one she's looking at is in a very dangerous location with literally no security, and the staff is super unorganized. I really only go to therapy for my meds getting refilled, but I now have to jump through hoops to be able to reach that stage. One thing I am dreading is retelling all of my childhood trauma, which I'm still working on. I absolutely despise talking about my trauma, and tbh I hate talking about how I feel. Idk, I just want my meds and to be happier ever after 🤷‍♂️
 
i am actually pleading w my teachers to stop assigning stuff. please i am begging . ya’ll don’t have to assign something new every day it’s okay
 
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