What's Bothering You?

one of my favorite youtubers made a big mistake in a video she recently uploaded, and apparently she hasn't taken any time to respond to criticisms yet. I really hope she responds, because it's pretty obvious she really messed up and she needs to apologize. if she doesn't then idk what to think. I really hope she does, I've always had a great deal of respect for her and her videos.
 
Wish my motivation to do things wasn't drained easily and I'm tired of having constant anxiety over small things, it's tiring
 
My happiness is 97% dependent on my favorite person and that’s not a good thing. As sweet and incredibly perfect as she may be, I need to be less reliant on her for my happiness.

Also, I feel bloated. Like, I just want to lay down for a bit but I’m not tired. I’m drinking a Mountain Dew to energize me. I feel a little better as I finish typing this, but still want to relax.

Plus, it was a little cold (not very but enough that I could feel it) this morning and I was hanging all over my favorite person because she’s always just radiating with body heat and I’m here for it.
 
I saw a cat in the road that had been hit by a car. Details in the spoiler

It was in the middle of the road and I didn't wanna hit it again so I got out and stopped traffic to pick this dead cat up. Holding his body against my body was messed up. I brought him to the sidewalk and this couple pulled over & offered to take him to the animal shelter so he can be scanned for microchips. It was an uber that hit the cat and then the guy got out, stole the cats collar and took off? Not sure what his thought process was. Rest in peace little meow meow, at least you passed instantly and didn't suffer.
 
Got another eczema breakout, this time on my leg 😭 I have never had this much trouble with my skin in my life lol
 
i got sunburned from and outdoor event at my school on friday. it looks terrible, i’ve learned my lesson about not wearing sunblock.
 
I regret my loneliness taking over me and joining a dating discord server. I’ve been DM’d about it twice in the past two days. People being upfront in their romantic interest right away online makes me very uncomfortable. If I were to meet someone online I’d need to get to know them first in only a platonic way.

People showing interest irl right away hasn’t bothered me except for the few times people were creepy about it. I think it’s because I don’t have to worry as much about them lying about their identity. The problem is I’ve had it happen fairly often over the past few years and I was too nervous or oblivious to show interest back.

The whole situation makes me realize I would do terrible on real dating apps. People would text me with the immediate intent of romantic interest and I would be too uncomfortable to give them a chance. Then if I actually went on a date with them I’d be too nervous to show my real personality and hold a natural conversation.

I think I’ll leave the server and just try to meet someone organically.
 
My girlfriend just broke up with me.

She was pretty much all I had left to live for so idk what I'm going to do now
 
I am feeling better now but because of my asthma, I can't be around my hairy dog when I feel sick. It just irritates my symptoms more. (Poor Sofia.)

On a good day, I'm not normally affected by dog hair (though I'm allergic to cat hair, I think). But today is not that day. 😞
 
I haven’t been shaving my “mustache” since I think it helps me pass. However it’s very subtle and I think the little amount of facial hair makes me look like I’m 15. I’m actually 25.

Also, I kind of want to shave my arms but I’ve been putting it off because again, I think it helps me pass. I wonder if I can still pass with shaved arms. Otherwise, I’m afraid I’ll look like I’m 12 and I’d rather look 15. At least that’s older than 12. Why am I having this issue??
 
1. Job hunting. The timeline for when I want to hopefully have a job by is coming up. My apartment contract is ending in August and I want to move anyways. If I could at least know where my next job will be ahead of time, I can move to someplace that'd be convenient for taking the train. But, for a number of reasons, things have not progressed as far as I'd like them to. I did get interviews for the two jobs I applied to but after applying for both I realized that I wouldn't actually want to join the companies so they'll just be for interview practice.

For online interviews since I work from home I can easily do them and then make up the time by working later, but if it's in-person I'll most likely need to use time off and I don't have a lot left so I need to be careful with it. I don't want to quit my job before finding one since I'm on a visa, that'd start a countdown for when I'd need to have the next job by which would add stress.

I still think it'll turn out okay, and I am finding different things that will help me, but I'm worried about getting stuck in a bad company again and need to make a careful decision.

2. Will keep things vague but there's someone who says they're going through some difficulties and went from messaging me everyday to only once every week and a half. Me not knowing the details of the situation too adds to my worries, and besides being concerned for them it also makes some of my plans uncertain.
 
I used to like to drive. Lately it is just making me nervous. On the way to work this morning so many people would try to go through the intersection knowing they can’t get access before the light changes. Now these people are blocking the intersection so those that now have a green light can’t go anywhere. There was almost two accidents because of it. So many people in such a hurry to go nowhere.
 
Overbid the for-sale price on our first house offer by $38,000. Still lost to one of the other 17 bids. Housing market is so screwed up right now. 😠 This is gonna be a very long journey…
Made a second offer on a different house.

- $45,000 over asking price
- Waived home inspection
- Offered to take possession of unwanted furniture
- Offered to pay $2,000 of the seller's closing cost

Still lost to an all cash offer. How do first time homebuyers stand a chance?!?! Will be living in a pile of :poop: at this rate.
 
I hate saying this but I don’t like it when my second sibling comes over. It would be nice if we could have one gathering without snarky comments being made.
 
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