What's Bothering You?

I’ll be honest, I was crying at a gas station this morning and a customer asked me if I was okay and offered to talk to me. I appreciated it but didn’t really want to talk then. It’s just nice to see that a stranger cares.
 
That's tough. I'm not part of the lbgt community, but I go to the men's section often simply because their stuff is often just made better and sometimes cheaper.
Don't get me started on the women's pockets issue.
Maybe just mentioning the facts in a logical way about why you go to the men's section will be enough?
Graphic tees are lacking in the women's section often for some reason, or they have some weird cut if they exist. Mom use to get mad at me in my late teens for going into the men's section when looking for clothing. I just told her they simply don't have xyz in the women's section and I'm tired of shirts so thin that they are see through and cost more.
 
This didn’t help as I thought it would.
 
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Oh dang, I didn't see any posts that were breaking rules or crossing the line. I apologize if my post was cause of the problem.
 
i’m convinced i have restless leg syndrome, i could not sleep last night because i kept trying to resist the urge to move my legs 😣 it seriously feels like i need to stretch my legs as far as i can and when i do stretch it doesn’t feel like enough!!! 😩
 
It's cold today. I think we are going to get freezing temps at some point actually.
Also I have a headache and I'm tired. I still have to go someplace today though and we are having visitors tonight. Hopefully I feel a bit better by then.
 
one of our kitties was having some serious-looking health issues this morning and lowkey started to trigger my PTSD 😭

I think she's okay but it honestly makes me sad to think that my overwhelming fear of losing a pet might keep me away from comforting them when they need it most. I've dealt w so many pet losses over the last 4-5 years and they've all just been horrible, I feel incredibly sad for all of them bc they didn't deserve to go the ways they did.

so anyways yeah now my anxiety is really bad and I feel sick to my stomach. hopefully continuing this video editing can help me forget about it.
 
if you haven’t gotten your ears pierced already, don’t go to claire’s. i did today and the piercing gun got jammed the first time they tried to go through my right ear. there was blood dripping down my face and onto my shirt. if we had known that was going to happen i would’ve never gone to claire’s because even the mention of blood in a song makes me cringe (it’s hard for me to write this) so i was shaking and crying in the chair. :)
 
I hate having BPD alongside Bipolar II. I am so... wishywashy with my moods. Especially when it comes to my fp/favorite person. One second I hate them and they're the absolute WORST, and the next they're harmless and can do no wrong. I hate being this way. I'm sick of the black/white thinking, I'm sick of it all :")
 
That's tough. I'm not part of the lbgt community, but I go to the men's section often simply because their stuff is often just made better and sometimes cheaper.
Don't get me started on the women's pockets issue.
Maybe just mentioning the facts in a logical way about why you go to the men's section will be enough?
Graphic tees are lacking in the women's section often for some reason, or they have some weird cut if they exist. Mom use to get mad at me in my late teens for going into the men's section when looking for clothing. I just told her they simply don't have xyz in the women's section and I'm tired of shirts so thin that they are see through and cost more.


Yeah I told her I wanted a button down shirt to dress a little 'dressier' than Tshirts all the time and men have nice patterned shirts. I've also told her before that I like the patterns on men graphic tees sometimes. It's not like I exclusively shop in the men's section anyway, I still predominantly shop in the women's.

I also bought a men's wallet and specifically told her it was for my bag, that I needed a thin wallet and my wallet at the time and pretty much any women's wallet I saw were too big and bulky.
 
It’s come to my attention that this forum is basically my social life. It’s sad when you think about it because I don’t talk to that many people on here, but in my mind it’s something to do? I see threads and I comment/post my thoughts, and that’s interaction. I am too extroverted to only be relatively close with like 2-3 people. I talk to lots of people and I’d have absolutely no problem starting conversations with 95% of the people I come across but on the inside I’m empty. I’m lonely. Leaving the forum would be like cutting out a huge chunk of my social life. I talk to people at work too but I wouldn’t say I really hang out with anyone outside of work so are we really just work friends? It crosses my mind. This obviously excludes my girl otherwise known as my favorite person, but the others? We’re just people that talk at work.

It’s really eating at me the fact that without this forum, I’d literally lose like 70% of my social life. I want friendships irl obviously but it’s not that simple. Like I want to move and pursuing friendships in an area I want to move from would be stupid because we’d have to part ways eventually. Idk why I’m posting this here since I’m basically outing myself that I’m lonely without this place even though I don’t talk to that many people here. That’s sad. It’s never bothered me before but when I think about leaving, and then realizing that I’d be the anti-social freak I once was in my elementary school days again if I did leave the forum. I like to think I’ve changed in terms of social-ness since then but it still feels like I’m not getting anywhere since there’s no point. Absolutely no point in pursuing anything until I move to where I want to be.
 
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I know I’ve said this so many times but I just miss forums being popular. I actually feel a bit more social again lately, but everything gets redirected to Discord and I just hate that platform. :( Every time I try out new servers I just wanna slink back again, forums are way more approachable. And honestly… I wish I could start my own forum and attract people to it- I don’t mean that in a self-advertisy sort of way, but back in the day you could reasonably do that and make friends or get closer to people that way, and running your own thing was fun. And I‘m on here and a lot of the time I’ve been on here has just been venting on this thread and from now on I want to change that. I just idk how to get the kind of social experiences I want and it kinda makes me want to give up. I’m only talking about Internet stg and not even gonna touch on real life because I still just have no social life irl.
 
I think my mushroom growing attempt failed 🥲
I am still gonna keep them around and see if they pull through somehow. But a professional grower contacted me after looking for some insight/help on forums.
 
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