What's Bothering You?

[moonbyu]

Spoiler: uhjj,,,mmmm

it's been my first month since college and i still don't feel like i belong, let alone deserve to be here. everyone else has already settled in but i'm still in this "first day jitters" mindset and i can't TAKE it. i feel stupid. i don't understand what's happening most of the time despite how hard i try. i've been chalking it all up to imposter's syndrome but there comes a point where i'm like "is it really imposter's syndrome or are you just trying to cope with the fact that you're incompetent?"

it doesn't exactly help that i'm STILL very socially stunted. i don't think people understand what i mean when i say i CANNOT socialize at all. i truly cannot make conversation without planning out everything ill say beforehand or i'll begin freaking out and having a panic attack. i can't take it. i'm supposed to be doing an internship in january and i fear i'm only getting worse. ughhhhhhhh i wish i was normal sometimes.

also my art for the halloween event deleted itself before my eyes and i was nearly done w/ it.. i didn't get to save it either .

 

[Midoriya]

Deleted.

 

[Shawna]

Been feeling pretty sick with a fever these past few days. I really don't like it either since I just tend to feel demotivated and even cranky as times. Really sucks. :,|

I know I told you in Discord, but I hope you feel better

 

[AshtonDraws]

I know I told you in Discord, but I hope you feel better

Thank you, I appreciate it

 

[xSuperMario64x]

--

 

[Millysaurusrexjr]

been feeling pretty sick lately and now I gotta rush through the two halloween event entries I was excited about working on but couldn't get around to

 

[Shellzilla_515]

Spoiler

Not gonna lie, aside from count inside the bottle and mirrors, I'm just really not feeling it for the halloween event. My work schedule has been changed up recently (and so does the schedule of my coworkers) where I have to come to work earlier but still finish at the same time like before save for one where I got to leave early due to a slow day. Regardless, it didn't take long for me to constantly feel tired even after getting some sleep. In fact, it's gotten out of wack where I woke up a few times in the night because of thinking that I would end up sleeping in and being late for work. This morning, I was panting going up a few steps on the stairs and had a bit of a hard time breathing.

It's only half an hour earlier each day (except on my days off and Sunday), but it's enough to make me feel fatigued around the clock since I would have to get ready earlier as a result. I don't see the point of that since we don't really have to do anything else aside from getting the workplace ready for the day which only takes a few minutes to do. In fact, one of my coworkers expressed the same thing when I spoke to them about it the other day, and they have a second job! I can't imagine how much more exhausted I'll be if I was in their shoes. I was feeling some lightheadedness at some point and thought I was gonna collapse to the ground. Thankfully, I miraculously felt a little better as the day went on aside from the lingering tiredness.

My soul is kinda getting sucked out of this. I don't get much time at home to unwind, participate in the event, and relax without constantly having to think about work in the back of my mind before the cycle repeats once more. Thank goodness I'm off tomorrow or my body would have gone into complete shutdown. I hate this kind of work culture where you work for long hours and barely get to spend time to simply enjoy life in a meaningful way. And before you know it, something's gonna give in.

 

[Bluelady]

Still mad, this didn’t help today.

 

[Acruoxil]

I've got one too many things to do today, and as much as I enjoy working and being productive, I feel like I'm pushing myself too hard!

 

[nelgoss]

I am so embarrassed by my need to feel validated, because I am made to think that it's stupid or wrong of me and that my feelings are not important. I can't ever speak my feelings it seems without someone blaming me and turning things around on me making me feel worse and like I did a bad thing trying to be open and honest. I just need to vent this. I don't think it's odd to want your sig other to be friends with you on social media, nor do I think its odd or wrong for you to want them to pay attention to you when you tag them in things, or talk about them.... Especially when they used to be so into leaving all kinds of songs, hearts, comments and love making you feel like you were on top of the world posting your relationship status for all to see. These days I feel like I am on the bottom of the ocean just being ignored. I mean otherwise, everything is great, this just doesn't sit well with me and I don't think it ever will. Sigh.

 

[Beanz]

i just had the worst stomach pain, im guessing it’s because yesterday i tried mountain dew. that’s the first and last time i’ll ever have another energy drink.

 

[xSuperMario64x]

anxiety is actually gonna be the death of me today


seriously, **** insurance companies

 

[Kumatora]

i have piano lessons soon and i haven't practiced.. woops..

 

[Acruoxil]

Today a little kiddo patient came in with seizures and was on the brink of death, the parents were broke snd couldnt afford anything and we were out of beds. My fellow doctor had too much anxiety so I had to take care of him until we could transfer him to a different hospital. But of course we were too late and he died. And as the last doctor who was with him, I had to talk to the parents until they accepted it. After my shift was over and I left, it triggered all the ****ty things that have been happening to me the past two weeks - a breakup of a 3 year long relationship, my grandma dying, everything else that gaped my wounds open the past days. It’s horrible. I got this though, if anything it motivates me to give out more good in the world :’)

 

[Halloqueen]

Quite insignificant compared to the stuff everyone else is going through, but something I wanted to order was released yesterday. It sold out the same day before I got to it and I don't know whether there will be a restock or if it was a one-and-done run.

 

[ZeldaCrossing64]

I'm in a terrible mood right now after having an argument with my dad and brother that lasted over an hour. It's almost been an hour since, and I'm still mad about it. I think the stress about my mom's death has gotten to all of us by now.

Spoiler: Funeral stuff

We're also leaving for the airport tomorrow morning for the funeral in my hometown, which is a 2-hour flight. We're gonna be there for a few days before we fly back home, as well. I haven't been to my hometown since I was 10, and that was to see my mom... And it was during late-October, so it feels bittersweet.

I just feel so drained and stressed about this whole situation.

Edit: On a lighter note, I'm incredibly grateful for all the condolences and messages I've received from my friends and various TBT users, it means a lot to me.

 

[oddbear]

Spoiler: kind of mental health stuff?

i just feel absolutely SUFFOCATED right now, and i don't know how to say it.
my friend is trying to control when i wake up on the weekends and gets mad when i don't wake up then. i'm starting to realize that maybe i'm the bad person in this situation... i shouldn't be making him freak out by not responding to him, but i don't know, i've talked to him and told him to please stop texting me so much and this is the only way for it to stop.
i don't think talking or anything i can do is going to help, i really think he needs to work this out with like a therapist because it just feels like i can't anymore. it really does cause me anxiety to be texted so often, and i can't focus on school or anything else to do because if i don't respond then he will get upset. i just feel genuinely terrible and self-centered... i should care more about my friend's mental health.

 

[Beanz]

it’s been more than 24 hours, why do i still feel sick? either that mountain dew really messed up my stomach or it’s something else.

 

[azurill]

Spoiler: kind of mental health stuff?

i just feel absolutely SUFFOCATED right now, and i don't know how to say it.
my friend is trying to control when i wake up on the weekends and gets mad when i don't wake up then. i'm starting to realize that maybe i'm the bad person in this situation... i shouldn't be making him freak out by not responding to him, but i don't know, i've talked to him and told him to please stop texting me so much and this is the only way for it to stop.
i don't think talking or anything i can do is going to help, i really think he needs to work this out with like a therapist because it just feels like i can't anymore. it really does cause me anxiety to be texted so often, and i can't focus on school or anything else to do because if i don't respond then he will get upset. i just feel genuinely terrible and self-centered... i should care more about my friend's mental health.

I don’t think you are the bad person in this situation. You need to take care of your own mental health. I had a friend that was this controlling and eventually had to let her go. For me my friend would get made it I didn’t make myself available to them whenever they wanted to do something even if I was at school or asleep they would get mad for not responding. Maybe explain again how stressful it is for you and you need some space for your own well-being.

 

[Rosch]

It's been months now, and I'm still suffering from GERD (gastroesophageal reflux disease). Every day, 3PM onwards, I suffer from breathing difficulties due to severe acid reflux. I've lost around 6 kilos since August this year because I had to control and pick what I eat. I can't work for long periods. I have medication, but it still sucks.