What's Bothering You?

my GP referred me to what looks like a strictly online service despite knowing i can't do phone/video calls because of my anxiety, so that's just great. really been having the worst day... got kicked off a work trip i was really excited for (because apparently they forgot to put my name down), the pc company hasn't answered my emails which is making me nervous, and then this. i just want to cry.
 
I used to wear shoes everywhere. Even to bed because I stepped on a box cutter my mom left out when I was younger, like 5/6. I was terrified to leave my feet unprotected. I got over it in the past year and started not wearing them to bed. But I literally just stepped on ****ing toe nail clippers and it hurts, and now I have my shoes on in the house. I don't care what anyone thinks. I need protection on my feet.
 
TN4U said:
-I’m also big on looks

-all I really want in a relationship is someone who shares most of my interests and that I can talk to about my feelings and otherwise
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Honestly so many people who are struggling with dating say this as if they are only asking the bare minimum. It is the grand slam. She has to be a sweetie, like everything you like, and be conventionally beautiful. If after 6 years this isn’t working it’s time to shift gears. Physical attraction is important but scrap basing your potential dating partners so heavily on their appearance. Looks change over time. Start with trying to form an emotional connection first; you don’t have to try to seek out someone who already has all your same interests, because when you make a connection with someone you can gradually share those interests with them. When I met my partner I never gave a crap about anime, card games, travelling etc but I came to enjoy sharing those things with him as our relationship grew.

Also you mention how you’re approaching your mid twenties like you’re in your twilight years - I never went on a date until I was like 27! In my somewhat defense I was never looking for a relationship haha. But I also never held a picture in my head of how I wanted my future partner to look, so when the person came along who I really connected with there was nothing standing in my way.
 
Croconaw said:
I used to wear shoes everywhere. Even to bed because I stepped on a box cutter my mom left out when I was younger, like 5/6. I was terrified to leave my feet unprotected. I got over it in the past year and started not wearing them to bed. But I literally just stepped on ****ing toe nail clippers and it hurts, and now I have my shoes on in the house. I don't care what anyone thinks. I need protection on my feet.
Click to expand...
I always wear shoes, even when I'm walking around the house (yes, I do have house shoes that are separate from my outdoor shoes), because I can't stand the feeling of dirt and stuff on my feet haha. and of course potentially stepping on something really awful like you mentioned 😬


Zane said:
Honestly so many people who are struggling with dating say this as if they are only asking the bare minimum. It is the grand slam. She has to be a sweetie, like everything you like, and be conventionally beautiful. If after 6 years this isn’t working it’s time to shift gears. Physical attraction is important but scrap basing your potential dating partners so heavily on their appearance. Looks change over time. Start with trying to form an emotional connection first; you don’t have to try to seek out someone who already has all your same interests, because when you make a connection with someone you can gradually share those interests with them. When I met my partner I never gave a crap about anime, card games, travelling etc but I came to enjoy sharing those things with him as our relationship grew.

Also you mention how you’re approaching your mid twenties like you’re in your twilight years - I never went on a date until I was like 27! In my somewhat defense I was never looking for a relationship haha. But I also never held a picture in my head of how I wanted my future partner to look, so when the person came along who I really connected with there was nothing standing in my way.
Click to expand...
can second this, emotional attraction always comes first and that provides the most solid foundation for a relationship. I believe looks are an added bonus; I find that after I've fallen for someone because of their personality and humour and quirks, I grow to love their appearance as well, but as a by-product of my love for them and who they are as a person. I couldn't imagine relying so much on looks, that makes things way more difficult and even a bit superficial imo.
 
So, my mom seems a lot better my brother is even worse. He doesn't have Covid, but I don't know what it is he does have.

And as for me, there's a little sore spot all the way in the back of my throat. I really don't want this to be leading up to something.
 
no but why am I actually starting to feel physically ill now 😭
I've been awake for an hour and a half already and I'd love to go back to sleep, but I have to leave for work in about two hours so I can't. but now I also feel sick so I have to try to get up and move around while feeling bleh and it sucks hsjfhsdgh


also always feel so sad when one of my friends is feeling hurt and there isn't much I can do except give them time/space to decompress. it's that innate desire to care for them that I can't help, but they may not even need my care. they may just need to be with themselves for a little while. I'll always accept that, even if it's hard, so I guess I'll just say that in the meantime I will be here for them if they need me. 💗
 
daringred_ said:
new development in the worst week of my life: someone stole my new pc! it got delivered to a completely different unknown address (i've no idea where, because they're claiming it was delivered here, and there's no contact for the driver) and not only did the person ACCEPT IT, they might've potentially even signed my surname. (unclear. the automated response when i tried calling the courier company said my name was signed, but i'm not sure if it was just reciting the name on the receipt/package.) i'm... no words. what a horrible, selfish person regardless for not just telling the driver, "hey we didn't order anything from here," or "that's not my address or name on the label". so now i'm just missing a £750 pc lmao. emailed the seller company, and i can only presume they're opening an investigation with the courier service -- because i wasn't allowed to do it myself -- but they haven't answered me again yet. i know they're (hopefully?) probably doing their best, but the lack of response is making me very anxious when they initially responded very quickly. like that's a lot of money to just have completely up in the air.
Click to expand...
update on this: apparently the courier company is trying to claim it was delivered to me. they're saying the driver's GPS puts him in "the right area," but no houses in our street match the photo he took so he clearly wasn't in the right place. they're also claiming he "left it in a communal area" but not only do i live in a house, so there is no communal area, his own proof of delivery photo shows it on a doorstep and someone in the open doorway, so he didn't leave it anywhere -- communal area or otherwise -- he evidently gave it to someone. (and my name was signed, so forged by either him or the recipient.) the fact that this big company is just straight up trying to lie despite there being evidence that they are lying is wild lmao.
 
I hate being on meds. They always give me stupid side effects. Nowadays I don’t feel like watching TV or playing games or eating food or doing anything, but my family doesn’t give a dang and wants me to keep being like this because “I don’t have as much anxiety anymore”. I might just have to resort to extreme measures again (yes, again) if I don’t get this fixed with my psychiatrist.
 
Well, I do feel worse now. I feel like I have a fever, and it feels weird to look at bright lights. I feel like if I stand up or move too quickly, it's like a nervous or electrical feeling goes through me. And my sore throat is a lot more noticeable now.

Update: I feel even worse. I can barely move without getting that nervous shock. Fevers suck.
 
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Crazy how I just keep becoming more and more unable to trust my mother.
I already didn't think she knew what she was talking about whenever I brought up my health problems.
But now? She brought a plant into the house and literally told me "It's not poisonous to cats, look it up."
So I did. Obviously she didn't! The very first result said it is poisonous to cats and dogs. Gee!
So, we had to move the plant to a room the cats aren't supposed to be in.
I'm just so annoyed that my mom can't be trusted, apparently.
 
ive been having dizziness, headaches, anxiety recently and it’s so so bad. my last day of work was on sunday (technically it was supposed to be this upcoming sunday, but i decided to not go anymore because on sunday after work, i had a really bad anxiety attack and my parents didn’t want me to work at all anymore hhh). but anyways. my cousins and aunt came to visit this week and they just left today and idk i feel like some sort of emptiness? and my bf has been spending the night for the past 3 days and he might not spend tonight with me and i’m dreading it because idk. i feel like i can’t be alone because my feelings and anxiety just overwhelm me so much. the last time i slept alone, my heart was beating so fast, my dizziness was at its highest and i felt like i just couldn’t breathe. i was trying to sleep but i could still feel everything and it was horrible. i am just dreading being alone, i’m out of a job for now (have been applying multiple places alrdy), i honestly feel like rn i have no purpose in life. atp i want school to come back so i can have something to distract me from my feelings 😭
 
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