What's Bothering You?

I possibly had a job opportunity but just starting is pricey, I'm low on available funds and it also involved driving around a big van. I'm a very new driver, I struggle to drive around my compact Toyota, going from that to a van is just asking for trouble, esp with the way people drive around here. Horrendous and reckless.

It just sucks cause I've called well over 30+ locations, applied for a few, left my name and number with some and this place that's offering me mobile grooming didn't really say that in their website. It was a groomers, training and boarding kennel with an actual location. The grooming industry is expensive, I'm not even trained as one so I have to get trained, which costs money.
 
someone stole the ring that i ordered for my mom. the delivery person just dropped it outside our door without knocking and someone stole it. amazon customer service is next to impossible to get a hold of. i’m so ****ing upset i’m literally in tears. i hate everything.

edit: finally got through to customer service and they’re giving me a refund, but i’m still so sad. i literally knock on my neighbours’ doors to let them know when there’s a package for them outside of their apartment, and one of them steals mine?? the people who live here are so inconsiderate, i hate them.

on the plus side, my mom did like the ring, so at least she would’ve liked it if she had actually received it and gotten to wear it. 🙃 if i see any of my neighbours wearing it, it’s on sight fr.
 
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So my mom just tested positive for COVID a week ago, and now my brother has a sore throat. I really don't like where this is going. If my throat hurts tomorrow or Monday I'm going to be really pissed, because my family is always getting sick and then I get sick and it always makes life suck while sapping me of all my energy.
 
Why is job searching so ****IN HARD

First I get an offer for mobile grooming which is NOT what I applied for, then I get asked for a meeting but the location is too far for my parents to want to drive out too. The TWO ****IN possibilities I get and I can't even get them. I'm going to be stuck jobless for months aren't I?🙃 I've called over 30+ places looking for a damn job. I'm going to tear my hair out if I have to keep doing this.

I really hope any of the places I applied for responds back ASAP, which I think has been like 3 or 4 now. I applied to one place on Tuesday, so this coming Tuesday would have made it a week without a call back. One place took over a week to call back, and I don't exactly have time to wait. Why is the two offers I get (and that doesn't even mean they will give me a job for sure) the only two things that I can't do?

I'm still mad the one place I applied to, who I did an interview with, they even showed me around where all the employee stuff was, just ended up ghosting me, claiming they would respond within 2-3 days after the background check, then *I call them just to get a quick dismissive 'we're good'. I was qualified, I have years of food prep experience, I have two certifications in food prep with high scores, and they seemed pretty needing of more staff. One employee wasn't even working the food truck that they were so adamant about wanting to open seven days a week when they were showing me around, it was closed.

I hate job searching. Never again am I quitting without having a job lined up. I regret my choices, and unfortunately I had to learn the hard, possibly expensive way.
 
I was trying to get hopeful that maybe I'm getting better. I don't actually know yet, I could be wrong. I certainly wasn't last night... Felt sick because I made food I didn't actually want. (The grocery trip keeps being delayed and I'm losing my mind at this point)
But now I'm very concerned about a friend again. I don't know if they're going to be okay and I'm kinda scared.
Why does something always have to go wrong?
 
i really HATE group projects. the one person who came up to me because she wanted a group just texted me "hi, i just found a group with 3 other girls. hopefully you find a group cuz you seem really kind :D". i don't blame her i guess. she had all her friends in that group and i'm awkward and socially inept so it would have been hell only working with me. i have to find a group by tomorrow afternoon. the professor said she made a discussion post but i literally am unable to find it and now i'm worried that i'm the only one without a group. i wish this was one of those times where it was optional to have a group but she already said she won't accept individual works. i'm so tired.
 
i love randomly having a panic attack and not feeling safe to do any of the things that would maybe make me feel better. i want to lay down in my room but if i do that bonk will probably start meowing and then my parents will get mad and i’m so so so so so tired of having to act like the able-bodied and mentally sound person in this trio when i’m literally NOT. i struggle just as much as my parents do, and yet that never matters because they never leave any room for my struggles. literally **** me so long as i don’t inconvenience anyone, right.

i don’t feel good. i can’t catch my breath. i’m so overstimulated and tired. i just want to go to my room and know that my dad won’t sigh at me if i do, or that bonk won’t start meowing and wake up my mom or that someone will get mad at her. i just want what i need to matter for once. i just want to be able to do what i need to do to take care of myself without my parents making me feel like scum of the earth for it or a situation happening because of it. i’m tired.
 
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Boyfriend gave me cooties. I now have to call off work tomorrow since I'm so sick but my manager goes
'Let's see what urgent care says and we'll go from there if I'll let you call off or not' 8/ I'm so tired man.. I can barely move and I'm so cold.. ;w; I hate being sick.
 
I was debating on creating a new topic about my issue, but I’ll just post it here as I think that’s a better idea.

So, I’m a straight male nearing my mid-20’s, and have never officially dated anyone in my life. I’ve been using dating apps for over 6 years, and have only came close to meeting someone around a half-dozen times. I’ve even thrown away money at these apps’ premium plans, and that also went nowhere. I’ve went around various places, both in real life and on the internet, asking for advice, and never quite understood how to take such advice in. I need some help, and figuring that I feel comfortable enough to receive some legitimate answers on this forum, I’ve decided to ask you guys for your advice.

I’m shy and got minor ASD/social anxiety, which has prevented me from feeling comfortable meeting new people in real life. I’m also big on looks, which is not a terrible habit for a man to have, but it’s not the best either. I’ve previously asked for advice elsewhere with mixed results. On Reddit, I went on a dating advice subreddit looking for help, and sure enough, I got ridiculed and made fun of by their users, which really doesn’t help my situation other than knowing never to go there again. I’ve been given advice on what to do in real life, and there were some answers I didn’t agree with (AKA go to loud clubs and bars and make a fool out of yourself). There was some actual, helpful advice given to me at certain times, but I can’t remember verbal conversations that well, and I’ve forgotten most of what was told to me.

Now, I tend to not approach women spontaneously for fear that I’ll make them uncomfortable, being that I’m usually by myself or working, and they probably don’t want to talk to some random lonely guy who wants to chat. Pick up lines make me cringe, and all I really want in a relationship is someone who shares most of my interests and that I can talk to about my feelings and otherwise. So, for those that are currently or were previously in a relationship, how can I figure this out without making myself look like a creep in the process?
 
TN4U said:
-snip-
Click to expand...
I'm not sure I qualify as straight since I'm non-binary, but I am attracted to women. I think spending money on dating apps is useless. They don't care if you find someone as long as they are making money. The longer they keep you from finding someone, the more money you will pay because you think paying raises your chances of finding someone. It doesn't. If anything, finding someone will be harder because the apps are making money from you. If I were you, I'd stop giving money to dating apps.

Looks are your first impression of someone, so I can understand how important they are, but they aren't the most important thing. You can find someone attractive, but get to know them and they aren't what they seem. There might be someone that's a good match for you, but they aren't someone you find very physically attractive, and you'd fail to give them a chance because of what you see on the outside. Looks aren't everything. I'm definitely not a 10. I'd give myself a solid 5/6 (post the dental work).

It's also good not to judge a book by its cover. I've met people I found very attractive by society standards. One of the girls was previously bullied in school and tbh, my first impression of her was "I don't like her. She's a bully." Just based solely on looks. I haven't even spoken to her before. This was two years ago. The second girl is just very attractive, but we were talking a few days ago and she opened up to me about how self-conscious she was of her looks. I would've never thought someone that looked like her would be critical of the way she looks. I think this just goes to show that low self esteem can happen in anybody, beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and not everyone is shallow.

I think confidence is a big thing here. I'm friends with the second girl, and I ended up getting her number just by casually saying "give me your number and we'll talk later." No questions. I didn't really give her an option to decline. I wasn't looking for anything more than a friendship here, plus she has a boyfriend, but she did give me her number immediately. I've gotten another person's phone number by the same method. Avoid the questions. It's amazing what you can get just by saying what you want. Obviously, I've spoken to these people before just asking for their numbers. This wouldn't be a good method if you'd just met the person and this is the first thing you're saying to them. You just have to gain the confidence to walk up and say hello to people.

This is easy for me to say as an extrovert, but you have to get comfortable with being rejected. It's going to happen, but don't close yourself off to opportunities because you think everyone is going to reject you. One thing I learned is that women care the most about confidence and can usually sense when someone is nervous. I think the best relationships start out as friendships, which eliminates the dating apps altogether. 99% of the time, people on those apps are looking for hookups and are rarely looking for anything serious.

I'd say drop the apps and don't actively seek relationships. The best things come when you aren't looking.
 
TN4U said:
[snip]

Now, I tend to not approach women spontaneously for fear that I’ll make them uncomfortable, being that I’m usually by myself or working, and they probably don’t want to talk to some random lonely guy who wants to chat. Pick up lines make me cringe, and all I really want in a relationship is someone who shares most of my interests and that I can talk to about my feelings and otherwise. So, for those that are currently or were previously in a relationship, how can I figure this out without making myself look like a creep in the process?
Click to expand...
My advice for dating & finding a partner: work on yourself first. Cultivate your interests, have hobbies, learn a skill, learn to be in touch with your emotions + cultivate good listening skills. People want to date people who are interesting and fun. Not saying you aren’t, and I recognize that social anxiety can make it hard for these interests to come out for sure, but that’s something you can learn skills to navigate and overcome for interacting with others. Put that in the “something to work on” category.

Understand that a relationship is the goal, but relationships take time to develop and aren’t instantaneous. Set realistic expectations for dates and meeting people - take it slow, focus on listening and learning about this new person. Focus on fun for your first few dates, and don’t try to do too much too fast (aka talking about serious relationship stuff too quickly in the dating phase - can be a turnoff, ymmv)

If looks are important, dress to impress. Evaluate your style. Are you dressing or styling yourself for the person you want to be with? Regular hygiene, grooming your hair and facial hair, fitness, and attention to how you’re dressing yourself go a long way. If you value how someone looks, you’ll be attracting those who also value looks - something important to keep in mind. And you don’t have to dress or groom yourself in a way that is inauthentic to you - find your style, play around with it, and you’ll find that happy place of looking good and feeling good.

Aaaaand be patient and keep trying! Go to meet-ups for things you’re interested in, strike up conversations with people in general, and as counterintuitive as it sounds: don’t focus too much on relationships. If you work on yourself and don’t put too much pressure on finding a partner, you will allow yourself to blossom & become that person who someone might wanna be with.
 
Mom’s Dr decided to do surgery first and will spilt the surgery into two parts . That will at least get us some time to try and get some financial help for the medication. Since the cost of it is $3,000 a month even with insurance. One will be Dec 12th and the other Dec 21st . I think I’m more nervous then she is. I also worry about getting the days off. Not so much the 12th but the 21st since it’s so close to Christmas. I asked to just work half the day but still not sure if they will accept it.
 
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