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What's Bothering You?

My mom bought my nieces Mcdonald’s again. I’m upset since the money is going towards a genocide. She initially said she’d boycott what she can but her excuse that my nieces wanted Mcdonald’s and something about every company doing the same (something equilvalent to that it won’t make a diffference). I’ve been trying to avoid thinking about anything to do with the conflict since I’m dealing with severe depression right now and am trying to hang in there, but any time i hear the certain company names or either country’s names, i get angry.

I had a terrible dream earlier.

I didn’t want to wake up today; was another day that I had to force myself to get up. not sure if my medicine has kicked in yet. I’m hoping it will so I can play genshin or hsr; right now, they’re not helping even though I want to play. I wish Neuvillette’s banner could come early since that would hopefully help lift my mood some considering how long I’ve been waiting for him. really depressed because I’m still waiting for my friend to reply to my response to him and recent message if he got my message. Feeling really hopeless.
 
last night my dad and brother got into a yelling match and started screaming at each other. mind you, if I'm ever in the vicinity of someone who is yelling at another person—or, god forbid, if someone raises their voice at me—it makes me feel really scared and makes me cry. thankfully there was no physical violence (though I wouldn't be surprised if that happened). but it got really bad, to the point where I was trembling and crying alone in my room.

I don't want to overshare, but I just have to say that my dad feels absolutely no compassion for us. he says that he cares, then stomps on our hearts when we pour our feelings out to him. he doesn't care. he got so defensive when my brother called him out on his conditional love, and he acted as if my brother was being rude and ungrateful by saying this. instead of actually taking these things to heart and acknowledging his own faults, my dad wants to play the victim and place the blame on everyone else. and instead of recognizing that he's making us feel miserable and apologizing and taking steps to work on being a better dad, he talks about how his own alcoholic father didn't care about him at all and uses that to justify his own ****ty behaviour.

we have to keep quiet and let him have complete control and let him perpetuate this absolute chaos and dysfunction, or else we suffer emotional abuse and manipulation. I don't know what others think (nor do I really care), but that sounds like a pretty ****ed up way to live.

it's pretty pathetic when you find the courage to tell your dad that his inexcusable and disgusting behaviour makes you not want to live anymore, and he responds by saying "that is so selfish of you."

I'm so tired of being here. I honestly wanted to run away from home last night, I almost did too. I can't do this anymore. I want to leave and never, ever come back. I don't deserve this, none of us do.
 
me when my uni computers have a feature that lets you leave and then come back while still being locked in, just locking the user but I take my first true break in hours and somebody comes in during that time, logs me out the PC SO I LOSE ALL MY WORK and then doesnt even use the pc, just uses their laptop at the pc desk. very upsetting, given the deadlines for the assignment i just lost my research for is TOMORROW.

I tried to hint at them to maybe like... move or smth but they just said they think they already logged me out. Ok thanks.

edit for the best part: I am now going to have to spend longer in this library researching a topic I really dont want to do right now. I'd rather be at home with my partner preparing for his birthday tomorrow, especially since we have a friend from far away visiting right now. But no.
 
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I spent 3 hours arguing with my dad and I feel like absolute ****. I haven't been doing well and I just snapped at him, yelling everything that I've been holding in the past few weeks. I'm tired of feeling angry and depressed all the time. Tired of dealing with my family, who seem to LOVE insulting and mocking me no matter how many times I tell them I don't like it. Tired of struggling in school while my teachers AND classmates give me crap for sleeping in class. Tired of my friends disliking me. Tired of missing my mom. Tired of ****ing everything.

Now it's evening and I barely got anything done today, and my brother is making me fold all the clothes even though I spent my weekend doing laundry, while he plays video games with his friends. Can I have a break, please?
 
My boss is probably angry at me, for something I couldn't control. Also yay, love the fact they contact me when I am off. They always do this, but my mum said I should stop replying to them while off work unless I need to speak to them about hours or something.

Also, sandwich was bad, and she thought it was because I wasn't checking them?
If a customer doesn;t want a specific sandwich, its left there. I do check them, and she thinks it cant happen over night. But I told her it has with other sandiwches, as well as tarts. Now she wants me taking pics of ALL sandiwches morning and before clsoing; insane.

We shall see if my phone will let me, because half the time, it wont let me due to no storage, and I can't remove the images I have on there yet.
 
My throat hurts like hell (even after lemsip mixed with lemon juice and honey) and I'm feeling like a nuisance because I told my boss I'm not comfortable completing the task I've been asked to do this morning without training. He said he'll come tomorrow (he's based at a different site) and teach me how, but anxious brain says I've annoyed him.

I texted my partner about it and she said I was right to speak up if I felt I needed to be trained / supervised in carrying out a procedure I'm unfamiliar with, especially as it involves working with a dangerous gas and can cause harm to myself and others if done incorrectly, but part of me still feels stupid.
 
Chris said:
My throat hurts like hell (even after lemsip mixed with lemon juice and honey) and I'm feeling like a nuisance because I told my boss I'm not comfortable completing the task I've been asked to do this morning without training. He said he'll come tomorrow (he's based at a different site) and teach me how, but anxious brain says I've annoyed him.

I texted my partner about it and she said I was right to speak up if I felt I needed to be trained / supervised in carrying out a procedure I'm unfamiliar with, especially as it involves working with a dangerous gas and can cause harm to myself and others if done incorrectly, but part of me still feels stupid.
Click to expand...
I know this is easier for me to say than it is for you to feel, but don't feel stupid - it is a totally reasonable request on your part to seek training, if you feel you aren't comfortable complete the task with the knowledge you have of it as of now. Hopefully as you start to feel better physically, you'll feel more confident that asking for training was the right move.
 
Giddy said:
My boss is probably angry at me, for something I couldn't control. Also yay, love the fact they contact me when I am off. They always do this, but my mum said I should stop replying to them while off work unless I need to speak to them about hours or something.

Also, sandwich was bad, and she thought it was because I wasn't checking them?
If a customer doesn;t want a specific sandwich, its left there. I do check them, and she thinks it cant happen over night. But I told her it has with other sandiwches, as well as tarts. Now she wants me taking pics of ALL sandiwches morning and before clsoing; insane.

We shall see if my phone will let me, because half the time, it wont let me due to no storage, and I can't remove the images I have on there yet.
Click to expand...
Update today:

Remember how she wants people to send pic of all the sandwiches in the morning?
Well her sister opened today and I came around noon to take over; after she left I checked the sandwiches, and one was bad :/ also three tarts and a bread
I took pics and showed my boss. She 'thanked' me like a child, like literally 'well done for checking 😘' with the whole emoji and everything.
I then said to her, questioningly 'I thought people were checing in the morning?'
Her reply: Guess the same way you didn't

🙃
 
This 75 year old at my job physically cannot do his job and it’s causing me to be buried everyday I work after him. He doesn’t even need the money and he just does it to get away from his wife. They don’t want to fire him to avoid lawsuits but I hate coming in on Monday and Friday being being buried because someone can’t walk around without a garbage can as a walker.

Complaining about this makes me feel insensitive but I can’t keep this in. I keep talking **** on him in my head, like he’s ****ing terrible.
 
Croconaw said:
This 75 year old at my job physically cannot do his job and it’s causing me to be buried everyday I work after him. He doesn’t even need the money and he just does it to get away from his wife. They don’t want to fire him to avoid lawsuits but I hate coming in on Monday and Friday being being buried because someone can’t walk around without a garbage can as a walker.

Complaining about this makes me feel insensitive but I can’t keep this in. I keep talking **** on him in my head, like he’s ****ing terrible.
Click to expand...
I mentioned something similar here. I can relate.
 
I wanted to buy an iPod so that I don’t have to listen to my music on my phone but they’re much more expensive than I thought they would be. I already got myself excited at the idea but all of the technical differences between them kind of stresses me out!
 
In 6 days I go on vacation for 3 weeks. Therefore, I am giving this company exactly 3 weeks and 6 days to get this staffing situation fixed (spoiler alert: they won't). If I get back from my vacation and still see schedules like the ones we have now (and have had for a few months straight at this point), I will simply walk right out and never come back.
 
literally tossed and turned all night, couldn't relax, don't even know how I was able to sleep when I did. I woke up about 40 min ago and now I can't go back to sleep, and I probably shouldn't since I'm thinking I have a long day ahead of me, but ugh. I don't feel well, and I've been fighting my own mind for the last few days. I'm exhausted.
 
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