my housing situation is so unstable. my mom just got her check two days ago, and by late morning it was all gone. my dad got paid today, and now they're over $700 in the hole. our internet might get shut off soon. I don't even know what the hell my dad is doing about out mortgage or other utilities. wouldn't be surprised if we're on the verge of eviction again.
earlier I wondered if, maybe, the reason why I'm freaking out so much about it is because of hypomania, because I so tend to feel a sense of panic and urgency when I'm hypomanic. but at the same time, if someone else were in my situation, living in a nasty house with a dysfunctional family that has no sense of security or stability, then I expect they would react similarly, if not the same. I'm not gonna gaslight myself into thinking it's just my hypomania and there's actually nothing wrong, that I'm just making it up. I'm really not, and I'm really tired of this. I'm not gonna live like this any longer.
now I'm speaking hypothetically, but I might potentially have a place that I can go to, if I have an intake session and they decide that that would be possible for me. I'm gonna cross my fingers and hope for the best. there's no more room for me to keep my expectations low. this ends now, one way or another.