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What's Bothering You?

It’s so disingenuous when people message you with obvious intent and then try to fake smalltalk you afterward like they didn’t just message you because they wanted something in particular. (disclaimer not a reference to anyone here lol love u guys)
 
Hate the fact that I will start panicking and be on edge when there's even the slightest possibility of tornadoes.
There's a watch right now and I keep pausing my music because I'm scared the tornado siren is going to go off. I hate feeling this way...
There's also going to be thunderstorms later as usual and that will probably freak me out too because of the circumstances.
 
Just feeling down right now. Aside from what happened earlier today, a bunch of other things are bothering me. I was super unproductive today and I'm still feeling tired/lazy. I seemed to have lost my appetite despite barely eating today. I wish I could sleep off my troubles and be better the next day, but alas.
 
There’s actually a lot bothering me. Recently I’ve been struggling to control my emotions around other people, and my family try and help me, but it doesn’t help, I just get sick of hearing the same advice over and over. They don’t understand how hard it is, and if they don’t have time to support me they punish me, when half the time I just can’t hold back my tongue.

They also don’t understand that I don’t like the same things as them. They are all practically identical, but I have nothing in common with them. And when they’re off doing something I don’t like doing, I’m usually on a device, because I find comfort while I’m on a device, for better or for worse. It’s not like I’m addicted to social media, because I never got into social media at all, I only have TBT and Discord.

Plus I’m always uncomfortable because they are kind of disgusting sometimes, and I am like the biggest germaphobe ever so I hate it sometimes. There practically oblivious to what I’m feeling as well which doesn’t help. Also I have the struggle of school and keeping friendships alive.

I know they’re trying to love me but it’s just so hard! Like I try and do stuff with them, but it’s difficult a lot of the time! And I can never just be happy without something on my mind!
 
I can't sleep. :/
I think it's stress related, maybe some of the weather too.. idk. It's been stormy but looks like snow or sleet is coming in a few hours.
Too tired to read fun articles rn. It's something I really want to do. I found some cool stuff to check out.
I should probably go back on hiatus..
 
Even if I decorate an egg, I'd still be two egg currency short of being able to afford both the Galaxy and Zen Eggs myself. Have to pass on the Zen.

💀 RIP 💀

Oh well. No big deal.
This. Is exactly me. Two short, even when I submit my egg. And it was those blasted puzzles that I second guessed on and guessed wrong. 😑
 
Currently feeling pretty miserable thanks to work. The actual work and everything has been fine in itself but while trying to learn something new my one manager has not been very understanding at all. Basically making me feel like I’m an idiot even though I’m genuinely trying here. It’s also not just me another guy working with me is getting the same treatment too.

I guess I shouldn’t be surprised I made a stupid mistake in the past and he literally could not fathom how it was possible and also made me feel like I had rocks for brains or something. Like human errors happen to the best of us? And it was one mistake. I don’t make them very often.

Not to mention I’m the kind of person who already calls myself the biggest idiot when I make mistakes so having someone else put me down just digs my grave deeper. I don’t really need the assistance, thanks.

Why can’t he be more like my other manager? My other manager still points out mistakes and tells us to be more careful next time but doesn’t say demoralizing type things in the process. There’s even been the odd occasion where he’ll actually say I did a good job on something. As if my work is actually appreciated. My other manager however I don’t think has ever said one positive thing to me.

Anyways I know I shouldn’t let it get to me, but it just does…
 
GIRL you got let this go and move on get yourself up on your feet and stop crawling on the earth for no man!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I know I should but he’s my only personal friend I have left and the only one I can truly open up to. He treated me better than anyone else has too, generally speaking.

A bit lonely and depressed. My day is just starting so I’m hoping my mood will improve by the time I go to bed.

Sorry if I’m being annoying. Posting here has been helping me and I’m trying my best not to post here every day or every time. If needed I’ll stop posting here.
 
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