What's Bothering You?
- Thread starter Oblivia
- Start date
VernalLapin
anyway
AGGHHH NOW MY TEAR DUCT ITCHES WHAT THE **** AND I CAN’T SCRATCH IT DIRECTLYGGGHHSHS
ZeldaCrossing64
Trust I seek and I find in you
I pulled an all-nighter last night (today?) and I actually kinda regret it 'cause I was SO tired and irritable (and still am). Also just didn't have a good day and I'm stressing about school, again. I was gonna go relax, but I just remembered that I have a ton of schoolwork that I've been putting off for long enough. I'm kinda rambling now but I'm just not feeling good. I'm tired, angry, defeated, whatever.
xSuperMario64x
a very tired Bug 🪲💤
I think I had an overstimulating day, and now I don't feel like doing much this evening. you might think, why is that a bad thing? well it's not necessarily bad, but on days where I have a mini hypomanic episode, I have so much energy and I do things all day and into the evening. then you have days like today where I feel normal, and I actually lose energy like a normal and non-bipolar person would. I was hoping to spend my evening doing a few things, and now I just have no energy. I might be able to find it in me to play Spongebob ROTFD (or hopefully maybe Gran Turismo 3, though even that might be overstimulating since I've never played it before), but I'm not sure.
it's just frustrating in that it's so unpredictable. like my mental health has to dictate how I spend my day. I try my best to not let that happen (especially not letting my emotions influence my day), but even after over a year of knowing that I'm bipolar, I still don't quite have it down.
edit: now in all fairness I have been awake since 5:30 this morning, so about 14 hours. and I only slept for about 6 hours last night. that might just do it. but it's only 7:40pm and I don't usually go to bed til around 10pm so I'm not really sure what I should do.
it's just frustrating in that it's so unpredictable. like my mental health has to dictate how I spend my day. I try my best to not let that happen (especially not letting my emotions influence my day), but even after over a year of knowing that I'm bipolar, I still don't quite have it down.
edit: now in all fairness I have been awake since 5:30 this morning, so about 14 hours. and I only slept for about 6 hours last night. that might just do it. but it's only 7:40pm and I don't usually go to bed til around 10pm so I'm not really sure what I should do.
“you’re not the only one who’s depressed, you know” as if anything has ever been about me. as if anyone has ever actually cared about my feelings or my wellbeing in this house. it has always been about my mom. about my dad. about my grandmother. about the cats. i get to carry everyone’s burdens and grievances with each other, but i can’t even get my parents to ask me how i’m doing. the minute that i mention that i’m feeling depressed or anxious, they immediately turn the conversation into what they’re struggling with. not even my attempt was about me. it has not ever been about me, and i’m so sick and tired of wasting my breath and making myself worried sick over people who do not care about my wellbeing. i am so sick of hearing my mom scream over the dumbest **** every single day. i am so sick and tired.
i’ve been on the verge of having a panic attack all day. i need to shower but i know that’ll just send me into a full-fledged panic attack instead of calming me down. i am so tired, physically, mentally and emotionally, and i’m so upset that i feel sick to my stomach. i don’t have the energy to talk to anyone about this. venting in here is all i can do because i’m just so tired.
i’ve been on the verge of having a panic attack all day. i need to shower but i know that’ll just send me into a full-fledged panic attack instead of calming me down. i am so tired, physically, mentally and emotionally, and i’m so upset that i feel sick to my stomach. i don’t have the energy to talk to anyone about this. venting in here is all i can do because i’m just so tired.
Dunquixote
Semi-Hiatus
this one is take when needed.
Reginald Fairfield
Senior Member
The crackhead neighbor's rantings make less sense than usual.
xSuperMario64x
a very tired Bug 🪲💤
fourth night in a row that I've woken up I'm the middle of the night, except this time it was 4am instead of 5:30am and my time lying here, trying to go back to sleep, has been littered with very uncomfortable intrusive thoughts. fun! 
I took another one of my meds so hopefully I can go back to sleep soon, I'm not staying awake.
also sad bc my flower luck is actually nonexistent but like, what can I do. praying someone will trade me a gold rose somewhere down the line.
I took another one of my meds so hopefully I can go back to sleep soon, I'm not staying awake.
also sad bc my flower luck is actually nonexistent but like, what can I do. praying someone will trade me a gold rose somewhere down the line.
Feeling horrible today. Yesterday we flew back from Japan to our home country, to stay here indefinitely, due to a medical emergency within my family inlaw. That's already stressful enough, but we had to rush back and had no time to enjoy our last couple of days in Japan, and have to cancel our 2 month trip to south east asia...
Now we have to tend to our family, and soon enough we'll need to find housing and a job again... might not seem like the worst thing, and ofcourse our main focus is on the health of our family. But it's been hard on us all around. My heart is crying
Now we have to tend to our family, and soon enough we'll need to find housing and a job again... might not seem like the worst thing, and ofcourse our main focus is on the health of our family. But it's been hard on us all around. My heart is crying
ZeldaCrossing64
Trust I seek and I find in you
I wish I could be confident more in my skills and be gentle on myself with the stuff I'm not-so-good at. I heard one of my classmates play guitar in music class, and I was like, "They sound really good! ...Not like I'd ever be at that level". Even though I haven't spent a ton of time practicing, I still feel like I haven't made any improvement at all since the first time I tried out guitar.
Not like I'd be able to practice anytime soon, anyways. I got frustrated because my hands were too shaky to play, and then I cut my fingertip when I pressed too hard on a string. It started bleeding and I had to bandage it. How the hell did that even happen?
I'm trying to remind myself that I'm diving into a newish hobby with very little guidance/tutorials, and that I'll be good eventually if I keep practicing. But at the same time, I get discouraged when I do play 'cause I can't even stand how I sound. I don't want to give up on this, though.
Not like I'd be able to practice anytime soon, anyways. I got frustrated because my hands were too shaky to play, and then I cut my fingertip when I pressed too hard on a string. It started bleeding and I had to bandage it. How the hell did that even happen?
I'm trying to remind myself that I'm diving into a newish hobby with very little guidance/tutorials, and that I'll be good eventually if I keep practicing. But at the same time, I get discouraged when I do play 'cause I can't even stand how I sound. I don't want to give up on this, though.
My mom started her chemo meds this week and I’m so worried about side effects. So far so good but I can’t help but worry.
I found out today that one of my Aunts had a heart attack on Monday . They placed a stent and she is slowly recovering. I would love to visit her but she is states away.
I found out today that one of my Aunts had a heart attack on Monday . They placed a stent and she is slowly recovering. I would love to visit her but she is states away.
Dunquixote
Semi-Hiatus
I’m starting to think that my best friend is never going to chat with me again. i know he’s busy and he always has done this where it’d be weeks or a month or so until I hear from him again, but i can’t help but feel like it’s different and he forgot about me. I’m trying to keep my mood up and distract myself and avoid looking at where my whatsapp is on my phone or my text notifications but it is impossible to avoid seeing it when i need to go to text my mom something. I wonder if he’ll even say happy birthday to me when it’s my birthday.
Maybe I really am incompatible as a friend.
I just sent him another text but he didn’t respond to the last one or my whatsapp message. :/
I’m so lonely. sorry if I sound like a broken record. >.<.
Maybe I really am incompatible as a friend.
I just sent him another text but he didn’t respond to the last one or my whatsapp message. :/
I’m so lonely. sorry if I sound like a broken record. >.<.
Last edited:
VernalLapin
anyway
NOBODY AT SCHOOL TOLD ME REGISTRATION WAS OPEN UNTIL NOW **** **** **** AND I CAN"T REGISTER RN
plus one of my classes is a ****ing zoom class UGH at least it's the only option and i didn't miss out on in person (yet)
plus one of my classes is a ****ing zoom class UGH at least it's the only option and i didn't miss out on in person (yet)
Mr_Keroppi
綠蛙朋友 ੈ✩‧₊˚
I just want to rant a teensy bit so thankfully its not something super important!
I am so sorry its so long but if anyone has any advice or anything like please let me know haha, maybe I'm the crazy one here. I just really needed to let this out and not delete it since I have been so frusterated the past week.
I have been super disappointed in my recent ELA project. I looked forward to this ALL Year, our podcast project. I was put into a group with three girls and only one of them was my good friend. I love this because new friends right? But the thing is one of the girls has been an absolute nightmare. This whole assignment has been a very unpleasant experience and I have not agreed with the creative direction that the girls have gone with at all but the thing is its their podcast, and mine(?)
Basically, I was given role as the editor / producer since I was the only one that knew how to use Audacity, it ended up coming out really well except... quality isnt the only thing that matters. The content did to me since it was a sensitive topic. We were supposed to make a podcast on a problem in our world and the girls chose sexual violence. I was originally really excited because I would love to raise awareness on a topic like this. I even got to interview my favorite teacher and she was so sweet and helped me out. The sad thing is that... I let the girls have creative control since it is a group you know and they had some....... interesting decisions. I mean the stuff about how men are evil and stuff can be true but as a male I was uncomfortable putting my name on a product like this. I am normally so impressed and proud of everything I submit but I just couldnt get into this.
I was so thankful my good group member did all of her work and even worked hard to make sure that my perspective was included through an interview with a senior and by talking about generalizing awareness and getting men to speak up as it happens more often than you think. The other two girls were just very immature and quite ignorant when they were speaking on a topic with the intent of educating and raising awareness. It kind of broke my heart.
All the teachers and general message ended up really well I just was shocked with the two girls and how they said "that men think its ok to do this kind of thing to women" rather than just something like "that offenders believe its okay to do these acts to others." And other statements behind the cameras like "men cannot get sexually abused" "they should be strong enough to push them off" "males don't really get abused though" "its mostly girls" "guys should like it lol." Things like that just rubbed me the wrong way. Its disgusting what our society has come too. The purpose is to raise awareness of sexual violence and eliminate all stigmas, including the ones surrounding men. Its wrong for both men and women and I just really did not like this project.
Disregarding the SNARKY comments and rude statements when I did 55% of the work, my friend did 35%, and the other two only recorded. it's over YAY and I am proud of me and the other girls work as me and her are close friends and she did great!
Basically, I was given role as the editor / producer since I was the only one that knew how to use Audacity, it ended up coming out really well except... quality isnt the only thing that matters. The content did to me since it was a sensitive topic. We were supposed to make a podcast on a problem in our world and the girls chose sexual violence. I was originally really excited because I would love to raise awareness on a topic like this. I even got to interview my favorite teacher and she was so sweet and helped me out. The sad thing is that... I let the girls have creative control since it is a group you know and they had some....... interesting decisions. I mean the stuff about how men are evil and stuff can be true but as a male I was uncomfortable putting my name on a product like this. I am normally so impressed and proud of everything I submit but I just couldnt get into this.
I was so thankful my good group member did all of her work and even worked hard to make sure that my perspective was included through an interview with a senior and by talking about generalizing awareness and getting men to speak up as it happens more often than you think. The other two girls were just very immature and quite ignorant when they were speaking on a topic with the intent of educating and raising awareness. It kind of broke my heart.
All the teachers and general message ended up really well I just was shocked with the two girls and how they said "that men think its ok to do this kind of thing to women" rather than just something like "that offenders believe its okay to do these acts to others." And other statements behind the cameras like "men cannot get sexually abused" "they should be strong enough to push them off" "males don't really get abused though" "its mostly girls" "guys should like it lol." Things like that just rubbed me the wrong way. Its disgusting what our society has come too. The purpose is to raise awareness of sexual violence and eliminate all stigmas, including the ones surrounding men. Its wrong for both men and women and I just really did not like this project.
Disregarding the SNARKY comments and rude statements when I did 55% of the work, my friend did 35%, and the other two only recorded. it's over YAY and I am proud of me and the other girls work as me and her are close friends and she did great!
I am so sorry its so long but if anyone has any advice or anything like please let me know haha, maybe I'm the crazy one here. I just really needed to let this out and not delete it since I have been so frusterated the past week.
ZeldaCrossing64
Trust I seek and I find in you
Keroppi, I am so sorry to hear that. It's not a small complaint at all, and it really sucks that this happened. It's disheartening that you put so much work into your project with the intention of spreading awareness, only to not be proud of it because of your teammates.
I would suggest talking to a trusted person at your school, whether it be a teacher or other staff member. You shouldn't have to feel uncomfortable due to your teammates making hurtful and insensitive comments like that. You had good intentions and put a lot of effort into the project, which they should've recognized.
I would suggest talking to a trusted person at your school, whether it be a teacher or other staff member. You shouldn't have to feel uncomfortable due to your teammates making hurtful and insensitive comments like that. You had good intentions and put a lot of effort into the project, which they should've recognized.
