What's Bothering You?

Mr_Keroppi said:
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I don't really know what to say to you because what I would like to say is directed at your classmates who made those inappropriate comments(and not you)

I agree with ZeldaCrossing64 please tell a trusted adult such as a parent or teacher about this. What your classmates said was not okay in the slightest. You guys were suppose to be writing a awareness project about sexual violence and trying to erase stigma surrounding it, the things the girls said does the exact opposite, it further stigmatizes sexual violence, men can be victims of sexual violence and women can be perpetrators of sexual violence, men are not the only ones who cause it and women are not the only victims of it.

Sexual violence is always horrible and disgusting no matter what. It can be extremely difficult and traumatizing for victims to talk about their experiences and the stigma surrounding the subject makes it so male victims feel like it is not safe or okay for them to talk about what happened or get help when they deserve love and support just like all other victims.

It is not okay to generalize or classify people based on things such as race, nationality, ethnicity, biological sex, gender identity, sexuality, religion, disability etc. etc. We should judge people based on their actions and how they affect others not who they are labeled as, anyone has the potential to be a good or bad person regardless of what group they are part of it is how you treat others and your moral beliefs that matters. Men should not be held accountable for sexual violence, only perpetrators should, men do not think sexual violence is okay, only perpetrators and supporters of sexual violence believe that.

I am extremely sorry this happened to you, I think you handled the situation very maturely and I'm very glad you are speaking up about this and I think you need to tell a trusted adult about what happened. You worked very hard on the project and you did a good job with your classmates, I'm really sorry this made you very upset and uncomfortable you deserve to be treated better Mr_Keroppi
 
I still feel bad about the other night with the bestie, we’re getting along again but I tried playing our game again and got really sad. It was such a stupid mistake and he never asked how I was the next day. It bothers me when I can’t talk things out with people and while undoubtedly he is my best friend this has always been a bad spot between us.

Also, I have to be non-specific about this here, but I saw something on another website that bothers me immensely. It actually hits way too close to home. I want to talk with someone about it but I also want to keep it buried. I suppose it’s YET ANOTHER thing on my endless list of subjects for my psychologist. It is that bad.
 
on top of being painful being sick is also just super annoying and inconvenient. everything you were planning to do for the next 4 or 5 days? forget about it. oh are you gonna miss the last day to be able to do something? too bad.
 
i wanna talk to my friends but i've been so busy and so anxious about how they will react to me contacting them out of the blue. i've spent more time thinking about how to talk to them then actually doing it. it's kinda upsetting and embarrassing.
 
I sometimes find myself at my former job only because my dad works there as a manager and I stop after (my) work occasionally. I know why I left, but almost every time I stop in, it gets even clearer that transferring was the right decision.

Someone I used to consider myself friends with was likely only using me to get things. One of them also said they missed having me around because they no longer have someone to bully.

I had two jobs at the time I worked there — I actually transferred to my other job full time. I’d frequently come into my second job stressed out after working at the first job. A few employees at the second job would ask me if I was alright out of genuine concern. I felt appreciated in that environment. The whole vibe is entirely different.

After officially transferring, it’s like everyone knew it was coming because I’ve heard “it’s about time” or “what took so long?” from more than one person. It was obviously a playful tone and nothing serious.

I think it finally clicked when I accidentally got dressed for the wrong job, and I spent the entire day not in the best of moods, as a result.

But yeah, someone at my former job today saw me with food and asked why I didn’t get them anything. Maybe it’s because we aren’t friends and we never were?
 
This is minor. Just a little anxious after posting stuff that made me happy. I know I’m probably fine, but I always replay things in my head or rethink about stuff I post and I can’t help worrying I was annoying or something I wrote was weird and not normal. When I get excited or “fangirl”, I can act pretty silly 😔. Also I repeat myself a lot, which annoys some people (or least it annoys my friend). sometime it is to make a point, other times I forget i already said it.

Also can’t seem to wake up even though I should be awake and not tired now.
 
i’ve been having really weird skin reactions either to the weather and my allergies have been reaaaaallly bad lately 😣😣

i went to an allergy specialist and they told me my skin isn’t reacting to environmental allergens but that i am allergic to ragweed and cats (the most devastating news tbh)
she said i could probably ask to be referred to a dermatologist for a testing but idk, maybe i’ll get around to it 😔
 
this is just a minor thing, but my PS2 really struggles to read discs. well, everything except for Revenge of the Flying Dutchman, it reads that game flawslessly. tell it to read anything else and it sits down and pouts like a child lol. I just want to play Gran Turismo 3 and Battle for Bikini Bottom, I know I've had this PS2 for like 20 years but come on 😭

himekirako said:
i’ve been having really weird skin reactions either to the weather and my allergies have been reaaaaallly bad lately 😣😣

i went to an allergy specialist and they told me my skin isn’t reacting to environmental allergens but that i am allergic to ragweed and cats (the most devastating news tbh)
she said i could probably ask to be referred to a dermatologist for a testing but idk, maybe i’ll get around to it 😔
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honestly in the same boat, I've been feeling itchy all over and really uncomfortable with the recent change in weather. benadryl helps a bit but not much. I had an allergy test done two years ago and found out that I'm allergic to ragweed, but ragweed doesn't come out til July here and I've been dealing with allergies off and on so I may or may not also be developing a cat allergy. feels like I may need another test done. hopefully you can get some answers, I know it can be frustrating.
 
a lot of the times I remember my Hammie.

I was browsing through an artist alley earlier when I saw hamster stickers that reminded me of my hamster..... I bought them and now that I'm at home I'm looking at the stickers again and I started to cry. My hamster Hammie passed away 3 years ago but I still think about her a lot... there are so many things that remind me of her, and even though she's only been with me for a year and a half, I still love her so much and I hope she knows that I loved her dearly. She was the very first pet I got to take care on my own, and she was with me for most of my first year alone in my apartment. She made me feel happy, she kept me company, and overall we had a lot of fun. Like literally without her I would be way more depressed, she filled my little apartment with life and sunshine. There was nothing much I could do during her final moments since we didn't have a nearby vet that specialized in hamsters, and a lot of the times I blame myself for whatever sickness she got. I couldn't also accept the fact that hamsters' lifespans were pretty short, so one way or another I was going to lose her too quickly....

Anyway, I want to learn how to feel at peace with myself and the passing of my hamster, I want to not beat myself up about what happened because I know deep down that I loved her so much. The hamster stickers I bought had the hamster smiling, eating, and one even said "I love you!" which absolutely broke me. I hope, hope, hope my hamster enjoyed her time on Earth with me, I hope she's happy wherever she is, running freely and eating all the sunflower seeds she wants. I hope she remembers me too. I hope she loves me too.

I miss her so much and I want to be at peace with her passing, even if it's been 3 years already.
 
Honestly what's bothering me today is the lack of wanting to socialize with people.

(It's a little long but I can't put it in a spoiler when on my phone because everything is grayed out on mobile and has been for a while.)

Like, it's not a big deal to be around people for a little bit, but when you don't feel good(tired, hurting, or just mentally exhausted whatever), you just don't want to deal with all the stupid small talk. Or have things last for hours and hours. Or listen to some circus story repeat itself for the 20th time that could be solve via x x or x and make the person's quality of life so much better/easier. And the solutions not being bad either. But then maybe they wouldn't have anything to talk about idk.
It bothers me, because humans are "suppose to be social" but I'm fine not being social. It's like where is the issue? Are they purposefully being shallow or trying to be social when they aren't, or am I just an ass lol? Maybe both?

Basically I stayed home from church today because I don't feel up to dealing with people in person today. I also didn't want to be pestered about doing things I shouldn't be doing either. I didn't want to sit at a table for 2 hours waiting for service to start listening to people talk about the oddest things or thier feelings I can't grasp because i feel different about stuff i guess, or just small talk of hi how are you without expecting a real answer so why even ask, because volunteers for different things are required to be there ridiculously early even though their task could be done 30 min before service. I assume because they want people in these little classes that are more conversational about various topics rather than the lecture style most people think of on a Sunday morning which is later. I would much rather attend those little discussion things on a different day tbh.
My bumps I got this week was hurting horribly last night even when not on my feet and still this morning if I'm standing/walking.

It's like when I worked, I just wanted to go in and do my job, not tell my life story to everyone all the time even though they would get upset sometimes because I didn't want to talk all the time or do after work social crap. (I also don't like dwelling on stuff so that may be part of that too) I was hired for x so, I need to get x done while doing my best. I'm tired. I did 3 miles worth of steps on stairs. The cartilage in my knee is messed up. I'm suppose to be working less hours via doc orders but wasn't because it isn't realistic at the time. I just want to go home. But I'm a bad person for feeling this way about socializing.

Or, you know my favorite is I put genuine effort into socializing and it isn't enough and more is demanded.
Is it bad that I think a lot of the time people just want you to do stuff all the time for them? Or do they really just need a therapist and not a common person to talk to? Like what's wrong with meeting some place to eat together or meet at the house watch a movie and then part ways when done? Is that really too cold of an interaction?

I can't tell you how many times family pitched a fit over "never seeing anyone" and I suggest we meet up at a halfway point between us at a restaurant and eat together without even having a special occasion being the reason and they basically insinuate that it isn't good enough. Then why the **** are you complaining? Some of the best discussion happens when you do stuff together, not forced socialization time. But maybe I have a problem even if it is smaller in scale than some of this stuff I'm running into idk. 😐
 
I guess this is ironic after the last post (I don't exactly disagree though- I think people in general need more self-awareness).

Kinda coming to terms with how that guy I did cut out did use me up and I feel gaslit into thinking otherwise. Maybe it's the pain of those memories, making me feel so used, but that friendship truly was not normal or more importantly reasonable. I can seriously see why people kept cutting him out. I'm not the first one who did it.

It shouldn't matter, none of it should matter, he was always just some guy that inserted himself into my life, buttered me up and talked himself up... To ignore how much I cared and believed would also be unempathetic toward myself. I have to grieve that kind of loss again. It never gets easy. It never will.

Things could be a lot worse and I'm safe now. I'm away from that guy, another old haunt that hurt growing up, a veritable manipulator and... It's strange because I don't quite believe it or know what to do with myself.

Am I posting this in public out of old habit?
 
A lot of my friends have been feeling quite low these days, and they all came to me to vent and to have a shoulder to cry on. But with all the things they're dealing with, I feel like I don't have room to say that I, too, am feeling low and need someone to help me.
 
So my old shop I worked at took no time at all to gut the place inside out and make 'more modern' as someone said, and then has already opened this week.
What's gotten on my nerves is being lied to. My 'boss' said in her lil group chat message saying it was only her working there for a bit, and that was just for the paperwork bit. But today, I decided to have a quick glance in the shop window, and spotted her to be husband working there, sadly he did see he me and I quickly left.

Already gotten some people complain about the place aready though.

I mean, they;re only making it worse on themselves. I ain't backing down on reporting them for stuff.
 
Now this is just a silly video game complaint but Minecraft Realms… why is the limit on Bedrock only 3 people playing at once? You can have 20 if you just have it online without any sort of Realms sub and even Realms+ is 11 at once. Why do you pay more and get less? Why is it so stupid? Why have Microsoft mismanaged Minecraft so much over time? I miss my og account. Anyway, I’ve made a world for me and my server and I’d love to make it a Realm but with those limits is it even worth? Rhetorical question. This bothers me immensely.
 
Kinda wish I took the time to join in on the event. Looks like it was a lot of fun and I probably missed out on some fun shenanigans, but I just wasn't feeling it. I barely had the energy to get up and go to work everyday after dealing with things. I don't want to trigger anyone so I'll just leave it at that. You can skip this post, I just thought it might help to write it down.
 
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