It’s 4 in the morning and I can’t sleep. I realize now the repercussions of being completely reliant in one person for so many things like overthinking and being able to fall asleep. It hurts bro
What's Bothering You?
- Thread starter Oblivia
- Start date
Verdict is, not fit for work but "fit for work with adjustments." Kind of sucks to hear confirmation that my disabilities limit my ability to work without additional support but arguably the best outcome. Upside there is a government programme that sounds like it'll be a lot of help but, ugh, I really hate being different sometimes.Tomorrow I've a meeting I've been asking for 2.5 months. And I'm also dreading it. It'll protect me as an employee but I'm essentially going to spend an hour talking to someone about my mental and physical disabilities and how worthless they make me feel. Yay!
Good luck!
Reginald Fairfield
Senior Member
They took Wario's butt.
spawnpoint
Take a chance! 🎲
oh my god i feel like i ****ed up and like im the worst boyfriend ever i hate having bpd so much i hate it i hate it
My life is bland, some would say. It's probably contributing to the fact that I have zero people to hang out with, and that sucks when you actually want social interaction. I've been told by someone close to me (but not really anymore) that it would be easier to make friends if I had more than a few interests. I just don't see the point in trying to force myself to enjoy things I don't just to get that social interaction I crave.
I'm friends with people, but I'm fighting the urges to branch out and try new things because it'd feel like I'm doing it for the wrong reasons. But, what's even wrong with my interests? It's not my fault nobody in my proximity enjoys Mario Kart, but thousands of people are online everyday. They exist, just... Not near me.
I'm friends with people, but I'm fighting the urges to branch out and try new things because it'd feel like I'm doing it for the wrong reasons. But, what's even wrong with my interests? It's not my fault nobody in my proximity enjoys Mario Kart, but thousands of people are online everyday. They exist, just... Not near me.
This afternoon was a bit...chaotic, for lack of better words.
I first find out that my grandparents are going to be bringing their obnoxious dog over here for three weeks, while they are on vacation.
No offense to any pet lovers reading this, but I have a bit of a fear of dogs. Most oft the time they are just hyper, energetic, and in the way when you are trying to get around...and my dad and grandparents are a bit insensitive to that.
My dad told me the dog will mostly stay in his room or in my brother's room, so I am hoping that is the case.
He then goes to lecture me about how he and my grandma do a lot for me (which I do appreciate), but that is not going to magically make my anxiety around dogs disappear. And when I was trying to reassure him that I do appreciate, he just ignored me until I said "Did you hear me?", then he said "You don't though." -- I should not have to deal with something that gives me anxiety just to prove myself to him.
He also somehow linked this to me learning how to become more mature. Now look, I do get that becoming more mature is a part of life and if you eventually want to live on your own, but how is this relevant, if I am not planning on having pets, or pet-sitting when I am on my own?
Then he said that I was apart of the reason my mom bailed out on us back in April 2019. She apparently did not have the patience to deal with a special needs child. Yet, she expects me to wait on her hand and foot when she texts, and cries to come back to live with us.
I love my family, but I struggle to see eye-to-eye with them. We clash severely and I struggle to get the points they are trying to make and vice-versa. I cannot help, but believe being on the spectrum does contribute to this to some extent. My brain is wired differently, so I struggle to see the points my dad makes, and he struggles to see mine.
This is more mild, but we also have two different natural schedules. He is more of an early bird, whereas I am more of a night owl. I actually like going to the store with him, so I can get out of the house for a bit and pick out stuff for snacks, meals, etc. He has to wake up early for work, so it is only natural that he is an early bird, but even when he retires, he will still be one I bet. I obviously do not have a problem with him being an early bird, but it is mildly frustrating at times, since I do like going to the store. He mostly does so in the morning, whereas I would do it late afternoon--evening.
I still have a long way to go, but I really hope I can get my own place later on down the road. That way, I no longer have to be an inconvenience to my dad, and vice-versa. He can do his own thing, he can look after a dog. He can get his own dog, and I will not have to get involved in the chaos. I can do my own thing without inconveniencing him. I can do things by my own schedule.
Also, vacations. I want to avoid these, at least family ones. We will be going on one not to long after my grandparents get back from their cruise.
I first find out that my grandparents are going to be bringing their obnoxious dog over here for three weeks, while they are on vacation.
No offense to any pet lovers reading this, but I have a bit of a fear of dogs. Most oft the time they are just hyper, energetic, and in the way when you are trying to get around...and my dad and grandparents are a bit insensitive to that.
My dad told me the dog will mostly stay in his room or in my brother's room, so I am hoping that is the case.
He then goes to lecture me about how he and my grandma do a lot for me (which I do appreciate), but that is not going to magically make my anxiety around dogs disappear. And when I was trying to reassure him that I do appreciate, he just ignored me until I said "Did you hear me?", then he said "You don't though." -- I should not have to deal with something that gives me anxiety just to prove myself to him.
He also somehow linked this to me learning how to become more mature. Now look, I do get that becoming more mature is a part of life and if you eventually want to live on your own, but how is this relevant, if I am not planning on having pets, or pet-sitting when I am on my own?
Then he said that I was apart of the reason my mom bailed out on us back in April 2019. She apparently did not have the patience to deal with a special needs child. Yet, she expects me to wait on her hand and foot when she texts, and cries to come back to live with us.
I love my family, but I struggle to see eye-to-eye with them. We clash severely and I struggle to get the points they are trying to make and vice-versa. I cannot help, but believe being on the spectrum does contribute to this to some extent. My brain is wired differently, so I struggle to see the points my dad makes, and he struggles to see mine.
This is more mild, but we also have two different natural schedules. He is more of an early bird, whereas I am more of a night owl. I actually like going to the store with him, so I can get out of the house for a bit and pick out stuff for snacks, meals, etc. He has to wake up early for work, so it is only natural that he is an early bird, but even when he retires, he will still be one I bet. I obviously do not have a problem with him being an early bird, but it is mildly frustrating at times, since I do like going to the store. He mostly does so in the morning, whereas I would do it late afternoon--evening.
I still have a long way to go, but I really hope I can get my own place later on down the road. That way, I no longer have to be an inconvenience to my dad, and vice-versa. He can do his own thing, he can look after a dog. He can get his own dog, and I will not have to get involved in the chaos. I can do my own thing without inconveniencing him. I can do things by my own schedule.
Also, vacations. I want to avoid these, at least family ones. We will be going on one not to long after my grandparents get back from their cruise.
Alolan_Apples
“Assorted” Collector
My laptop is trying to control itself.
It bothers me to say goodnight,
when your night isn't well.
It bothers me, the things you say,
the things that hurt to tell.
It bothers me when you feel cold
and maybe feel alone.
It bothers me the best I can
is kiss you through the phone.
It bothers me to think you cry
and wet your lips with tears.
It bothers me I can't swoop in
and take away your fears.
It bothers me you dream of me,
the things you wish we'd do.
It bothers me if you believe
that they cannot come true.
It bothers me to know I'm here
and you're way over there.
It bothers me I can't hug you and
to tell you that I care.
It bothers me extensively,
but I'll be here for you.
Until the day you've had enough
and I'm a bother too.
when your night isn't well.
It bothers me, the things you say,
the things that hurt to tell.
It bothers me when you feel cold
and maybe feel alone.
It bothers me the best I can
is kiss you through the phone.
It bothers me to think you cry
and wet your lips with tears.
It bothers me I can't swoop in
and take away your fears.
It bothers me you dream of me,
the things you wish we'd do.
It bothers me if you believe
that they cannot come true.
It bothers me to know I'm here
and you're way over there.
It bothers me I can't hug you and
to tell you that I care.
It bothers me extensively,
but I'll be here for you.
Until the day you've had enough
and I'm a bother too.
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I feel so sick. Not even 'suck it up and go to work' sick. As in even sitting up makes the world spin and I'm now regretting forcing myself out of bed and down the stairs for a cup of tea. The reverse journey ain't happening anytime soon.
Don't want to phone my boss I hate disappointing people. And waiting to make a phone call is the worst part.
Don't want to phone my boss I hate disappointing people. And waiting to make a phone call is the worst part.
So, my mum has been with this sort of moving agency, that helps older people move to certain areas in our country; and we've been wanting to leave the city for so long.
We usually miss out on places from this agency due to being second in line or whatever.
And we almost had the chance to move extremely recently; if it wasn't for our housing and council decided not to support as with moving costs.
We, me and my mum, have hardly anything saved up. So, the moving costs would be really high. And she called around all the places she could, and one of the reason they couldn't help is that my mum works!!
One thing say they could only help with £16 - t-tthats all.
So, we've had to email them to say we can't come see the place, and I wish I just had money saved up.
We usually miss out on places from this agency due to being second in line or whatever.
And we almost had the chance to move extremely recently; if it wasn't for our housing and council decided not to support as with moving costs.
We, me and my mum, have hardly anything saved up. So, the moving costs would be really high. And she called around all the places she could, and one of the reason they couldn't help is that my mum works!!
One thing say they could only help with £16 - t-tthats all.
So, we've had to email them to say we can't come see the place, and I wish I just had money saved up.
I have a lot of games I have never played on Steam. I know it’s a meme, and I think this count is a bit inaccurate, but SteamDB says I have 249 unplayed games.
… That’s intervention-type behaviour. I am not buying anything other than Guilty Gear stuff and Hades 2 until that number goes down significantly, 150 or 100 at least.
… That’s intervention-type behaviour. I am not buying anything other than Guilty Gear stuff and Hades 2 until that number goes down significantly, 150 or 100 at least.
ribbitribbon
Kappore kappore!
i thought when i started medicine for anemia i wouldn’t feel like this anymore. i woke up today so tired i couldn’t even move. since i felt so weak i didn’t let myself drift off back to sleep because in the moment i get paranoid that if i let myself i’ll die. i hate feeling like this; feeling so weak that i can’t even function or get up to eat or do anything. i can at least keep my eyes open right now. i just wish i didn’t have this overwhelming fatigue completely absorbing my body.
i suspect it’s cfs, but i’m sure when i go to the doctor again they’ll want updated bloodwork. i’m not looking forward to it as last time i whited out and was shaky for a few hours after.
i suspect it’s cfs, but i’m sure when i go to the doctor again they’ll want updated bloodwork. i’m not looking forward to it as last time i whited out and was shaky for a few hours after.
Anaemia treatments are a pain and take repetitive doses to be effective - and if you miss any you'll quickly feel the backslide. If you're new to it then it will take you a while to feel better.
Balverine
i can be a werewolf if you want me to
I dunno if it's fair for me to be upset about this, but it upsets me all the same so I'm going to vent
As an artist, I love hearing what people think about my art, even if it's something as simple as "I like the poses" or "your lines are clean", it makes me so incredibly happy to know that someone likes my art and took the time to look at it
I have a close friend that I usually show my stuff to before I post it anywhere, and they were usually really good about letting me know what they liked, if they noticed something off, etc
but for a little while now, no matter what I show them, no matter how excited I am about it, they pretty much always respond with "it looks good" that's it, every single time, very little variation
it makes me feel like none of my art is special and my efforts are wasted, it's discouraging
i don't expect people to shower me with compliments, just knowing that they actually looked is good enough for me, but it feels really bad when it's the exact same phrase every single time no matter what I show them
As an artist, I love hearing what people think about my art, even if it's something as simple as "I like the poses" or "your lines are clean", it makes me so incredibly happy to know that someone likes my art and took the time to look at it
I have a close friend that I usually show my stuff to before I post it anywhere, and they were usually really good about letting me know what they liked, if they noticed something off, etc
but for a little while now, no matter what I show them, no matter how excited I am about it, they pretty much always respond with "it looks good" that's it, every single time, very little variation
it makes me feel like none of my art is special and my efforts are wasted, it's discouraging
i don't expect people to shower me with compliments, just knowing that they actually looked is good enough for me, but it feels really bad when it's the exact same phrase every single time no matter what I show them
There's a homeless person at my front door and I am laying on the ground of my living room hoping she does not see me.
She ended up taking my neighbour's Amazon packages so I ended up going outside and asking for them back. She just handed them to me and we went our separate ways. I hope my neighbours appreciate that cause confronting people sucks
She ended up taking my neighbour's Amazon packages so I ended up going outside and asking for them back. She just handed them to me and we went our separate ways. I hope my neighbours appreciate that cause confronting people sucks
omg, im trying to play dead by daylight, and one of the challenges is being the killer called the Artist, and I have only one shot at the challenge called 'Swarm of darkness' and i dunno what i am doing wrong, but I do so well, but when i finally almost finish the challenge everyne has already completed all the generators and i have no idea how to get the last swarm
It is SO FUSTRATING
It is SO FUSTRATING
Yoshi155
Step inside and hold on for dear life
Essays. I had one today, and I’m not really scared of failing since I think it’s at least a B-. What I am scared of is that not being enough for my parents, because you know, to them, if it’s not at least an A it’s basically an F. And I feel like this wasn’t an A because for that, you need to have 3 fleshed out paragraphs, but we only had 45 minutes so I only ended up having one fully completed body paragraph, half a body paragraph, and a conclusion. I think that’s more my fault for not coming prepared which is what I think we were supposed to do, but still. If this gets an A then I’m going to be shocked, but that’s not going to happen. I hope it’s at least not a C, since this is a summative.
Grades are fun when you have parents that are waaay too strict.
Grades are fun when you have parents that are waaay too strict.
