What's Bothering You?

Getting stressed out about my future since I have no clue how things are going to turn out and there is not really much reason to think it will be good at the rate things are going. I'm not even supposed to be thinking about this since it makes my mood worse...
 
I had a good day and I’m doing okay overall, but my mood hasn’t been the greatest since I was hoping to hear from my best friend. I can’t help being sad even though I have plenty to be happy about. I miss how things used to be with us. Sorry for sounding like a broken record. I’m seriously grateful for the friends I have here and for this site, otherwise I’d still be stuck to how I was feeling in December like I never wanted to be happy again. I still get those feelings but I’ve been managing a bit better in some ways.
 
my mom just had such a severe and long seizure and it really terrified me. i've helped her through so many throughout the years but i've never witness her go through such a long and intense one. one of the reasons why i don't like going to bed super early is because i like to at least be awake and present when she goes through one so that i can help take care of her, especially since she has a history of experiencing them at night.
while my parents sleep in the same room, my dad's not the best caregiver so while she was still going through her seizure, he just went back to bed while letting me take care of her on my own. of course he didn't fall back asleep, simply just laid back down in bed but i found that so offensive. it really didn't help that my sister was just in the shower during the whole episode.

near the end of it, i was trying to wipe her face clean with a damp paper towel and when she looked at me, i could tell she didn't recognize me and that just really scared me.
oh my gosh i have to watch something lighthearted because i can't stop bawling my eyes out
 
My health is pretty bad tonight and I still don't have insurance. Been suffering for a few hours and I guess I won't be fine until I can drink water without feeling like I might choke on something. I was supposed to have gotten insurance earlier this year but I have no idea what happened to that and I guess this problem just built up over all those months of waiting (and also failing to take care of myself because of depression.). I didn't even realize it had gotten this bad.
 
Hi everyone! I’m going through something this morning and I’m a little stressed/worried at the moment. I know this is very vague but I’ll post again (likely within two or three hours) after the fact with more details. It’s just better for my stress if I don’t write/think about it before it happens which is why this is vague, lol.

If I could have hugs/support that would be awesome. 🥺😌
I figured I’d provide context on this because I feel comfortable right now doing so. It may be a little long because there’s some specifics, but bear with me.

So, I’m getting four of my bottom teeth extracted. That’s not the issue. I’ve had multiple extractions (I have implants!) before and I’ve been awake for them, of course with my mouth numbed. I’m not at all worried about the procedure because each tooth takes no more than five minutes. It’s rather quick, and mouth stitches are dissolvable so they’ll come out on their own. This procedure didn’t happen yet as my appointment is currently booked for July, but they’re trying to get me in sooner. I will not compromise on the oral surgeon because I go to a specific one I feel comfortable with and he is amazing with patients.

The issue? My dad and I are moving soon and I’m helping with the expenses for that. I’m worried that my dad will be upset if I cut into the savings we have for the move for this procedure. That’s basically it. I’m probably overthinking it, but I feel better now. Plus, if we move before this, I won’t have to cut into the savings since we would’ve moved first.

Edit: That wasn’t as long as I thought it’d be, lol.
 
I’m feeling depressed even though I’m having a lot of fun with the tbtwc and had a good birthday overall even though my mood wasn’t that great. I feel like I’m never going to return to feeling as happy as I was before things changed with my best friend. I’m so sad; I miss my friend so much and I was really hoping we’d chat a little yesterday. I
 
Signed into my laptop for the first time after it updated last night and got a pop-up that said "another user has added Apple Pay on this device, only one user may use Apple Pay at a time so the cards you added have been removed". For one thing, I never had any cards saved as I don't use Apple Pay, and for another, no one else uses this device except me. I only have one Apple ID. Now I get to ponder and stress over wtf this pop up means and not find any satisfactory answers through googling.
 
Trying so hard to get this assessment done, but the push/motivation isnt there. I mean, it feels great to not be full on workload some days. But if I get it done quicker, I won't have to worry about it again.
There are three questions that have messed with my head, and leaving them till the end.

Also, haven't seen my friend in such a long time, I try and say to meet up but I guess he's busy.
I sometimes don't always take time to contact people sometimes, and I hope well I don't think it's a problem?
 
I hate men sometimes.
I made a post online talking about UK politics and some man replies 'Im sure you know all about politics don't you little lady?' like... I study politics. I am a top-grade politics student getting a whole DEGREE in this field, this is my lifes work. I have not spent the past 8 years reading academic journals and deeply researching everything I talk about for some sexist to shut me down just because he thinks I look a little too womanly to be talking about this stuff. God damn I am ANGRY.
 
no matter how hard i try one of my clients seems to straight up dislike me, it's really disheartening, i have a meeting with them tomorrow and i've felt sick with worry for the past week about it as i know it will probably not go well

i usually have good working relationships so i've just felt so down about it for the past couple of months, i was just getting over my imposter syndrome about this role and it's coming right back with a vengeance
 
Why is it, if you don't want to accept blood/organs or give blood/organs the default is that it's some religious thing?
Maybe, just maybe, people just don't want to participate in it. Maybe they find the whole thing unethical. Maybe they don't agree with the process and think more sanitation is needed. Maybe they have a health issue or concern (omg this is such a criticized thing since 2020, how dare you question). Maybe they don't agree with the pharmaceutical company profiting off of donations advertised to be used for something else. Maybe they don't want to be targeted for their blood/tissue type. Maybe they feel not enough education or full knowledge about it is given to a person before they sign up. Maybe they have a trauma or phobia.
There's like a million reasons why someone may not want to participate in something. Kinda like there are a million reasons why someone may want to participate. It is their choice to make. Not yours. Different people don't have different value. The end.
 
I really dislike the people in my class/grade sometimes. We started our thesis defenses, which is basically you going up to a podium and talking about your thesis topic and having some teachers/students asking questions. Well, one teacher had a disagreement and said something controversial (?), which resulted in a bunch of people arguing. That wasn't fun. By the time we were done, I overheard some of my classmates making rude comments. Like... Why can't you just be decent and keep those things to yourself? Ugh.

Also, after hearing some of the defenses, I feel like my thesis idea is kinda dumb? I dunno. I have my peers writing theirs on racism, sexism, religion, addiction, etc. And I'm here writing about censorship. :x I was going to write about some of those topics, but I didn't want to opt for something that was too heavy/personal for me, but still.
 
I recall when they did a father/child event at our school. One of the dads saw me sitting alone and invited me over. He let me hang out and was basically my dad for the day. (at the time I didn't understand just how incredibly kind this was).

lately i was kinda wishing I had a dad to spend time with. my mom never remarried.

I do hope father's day coming up next month is good for all the dads out there. This year is going by quickly.
 
Back
Top