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What's Bothering You?

I’m so stressed right now. I’m still trying to destress from how worked up I got about my switch lite, I had/been having a panic attack earlier when I was trying to find some of my ds/3ds games to play and they were in their cases or the cartridge case that I thought they’d be. I was hoping to look through some of my totes today but I have my niece’s concert to go to. I found out it is going to be a pretty long one too. 😭 I love my niece but as mentioned before, going out is so stressful for me. I didn’t sleep much either so I’m really tired too. My foot and leg gets aggravated when sitting long at these concerts too (been having an issue with my leg/foot/scoliosis) too. My mom had a month ago asked if i wanted to go, but she was like i’d really like you to go or it’d be very nice if you went. she never gave me a choice.Even it wasn’t stressful for me, as selfish as it is, I still wouldn’t want to go. I just am not really comfortable going to family events; my depression doesn’t help either. Also going anywhere with my dad is a challenge because he doesn’t treat his anxiety so he has panic attacks, lashes out at us (already he’s freaking out; I’m in the car right now). Over the years it has gotten worse. I’m anxious about something else too.
 
ZeldaCrossing64 said:
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I know this is a serious topic and a huge problem all across Canada, but I just wanted to tell you one thing. Please do not ever feel pressured to try any drugs even once. I know it's common and as you go through high school, people will offer it to you. It's common for adults to tell teens to not take drugs, but these aren't your average drugs anymore. Everything is laced. Everytime I've been offered drugs I have said no and stood my ground. The person who tries to pressure you is already being controlled by drugs and you don't wanna become them. You seem like a great kid though with a smart head on your shoulders so I don't think you need to worry. I also have family substance abuse issues so I just wanted you to know you're not alone.
 
Giving my police statement in 15 minutes for the crime I was a victim of a while ago. If anyone remembers my other posts about that situation then you might recall how the perp loudly denied it and has gone to some lengths to try and make me be quiet. Nonetheless, I refuse to let anyone else fall victim to their actions and I will do this statement even if it breaks me down.

As a side note my roommate has been totally disrespecting my PTSD and just doesn't care. He has had a stranger in the house for almost an entire month without telling anyone else the whole time, and he keeps telling us the guest is leaving and then they don't. I have PTSD with specifically strangers in my home from a crime that happened when I was a kid and they KNOW that but have still been so rude about it, not telling us who the guest is, how long they'll be here for, etc. We've had to essentially beg for information after continuously accidentally running into this stranger in our own home and now he's trying to force us to let that stranger move into his room when he moves out early... that means we'd be living with this stranger for another 5 weeks without the roommate who knows them. I dont have an issue with the stranger specifically, though, I have an issue with the principal that at NO point (bar a 1 sentence text sent... today) has my roommate made any attempt to discuss this with us or ask us if we're even okay with that person moving in..... because we're not. I just wish I could walk through my house and not be surprised by someone who makes my anxiety brain go 'yeah they could deffo overpower me' ): I just want to know whos in my house. I feel so overly dramatic but Ive been having so much paranoia and daily panic attacks even though I KNOW its just my anxiety and the stranger likely wont do anything. I think its just the disrespect of my boundaries that has pushed my anxiety to the breaking point..... I didn't actually realise how bad it had gotten until my boyfriend started begging me to go to the doctor and get help for anxiety again,,,, I haven't been like this in years and it only began with the stranger.

Perhaps the police interview is heightening my paranoia around the guest, but in any case I have to go. The interview is gonna begin any minute now.

Edit: That roommate just accused me of being a bigot called me petty and told me he won’t baby me bc it’s not his problem.
 
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I just bought a 72 pack of apple sauce yesterday and I'm realizing now that it's all expired. I guess I could have looked at the date before purchasing it but I'm annoyed the employees aren't up to date with their stock. Stuff wasn't cheap. Hopefully I still have the receipt so I can return it.
 
Dim said:
I just bought a 72 pack of apple sauce yesterday and I'm realizing now that it's all expired. I guess I could have looked at the date before purchasing it but I'm annoyed the employees aren't up to date with their stock. Stuff wasn't cheap. Hopefully I still have the receipt so I can return it.
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72?! Wow, that’s a lot of expired apple sauce lol
 
themysterybidder said:
I hate people who lie, unless it's something e.g. a surprise party, etc. I knew someone was lying to me as I had proof. They've never been trustworthy as I and others have had issues before with them. The subject came up today about the current issue. The other person told me a lie straight to my face. I challenged them. They said 'No, I'm not lying.' I gave them another opportunity to tell the truth, still nothing. So, I told them why I know they've lied. I said, 'Just tell the truth.' Eventually, they admitted they were lying. I cannot stand liars. 😠
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I know someone who's a pathological liar and I know they can't control it but it's so frustrating seeing them lie constantly even for the smallest things and for no reason at all, other people we commonly know have stopped confronting them because "what's the harm" but I still do sometimes and they still double down.
Again I know that they can't help it and that it's not actually hurting anybody but I understand the frustration of it happening in your face
 
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My moods been going downhill the last couple of days . So tired.
Work has been crazy busy and we were already short staffed. Then unfortunately due to unforeseen circumstances we are down two more people. Not their fault of course it’s just a lot of work. Hopefully they will be able to be back soon. Going in to many directions at once and feeling like I’m not getting much done. Every time I try to start something something else pops up that needs to be done first. It doesn’t help that communication between departments is at an all time low and people are snapping at each other.
It also doesn’t help that the bruise I got the other day is starting to bother me.

I feel bad not contributing much to the event . I wish I had more time. I was trying to find some shiny Pokemon on legends Arceus but having no luck. I’m starting to wonder if I should just get Violet since I was thinking about getting it anyway. Maybe it will lift my mood . Maybe I could have better luck since I can’t have much worse then I’m having with Arceus.
 
This is minor. I messed up on my written cheer by bumping the lost reply button accidentally while I was still typing. I tagged a mod asking if I could post/edit it, will message them if they don’t see it tonight. I’m so embarrassed because it wasn’t good at all what I had so far. I can’t stop worrying about it even though it is just a mistake and very minor (I was hoping no one would read it but too late >.<). I was going to try working on a visual but I’m too anxious and not in the right mood.

My mood has been pretty down all day since earlier when I found my late kitties’ urns.

I missed most of the streams too today; I wanted to make as many as I could. I should’ve set my clock.

Feeling pessimistic too about tomorrow. I don’t think my best friend is going to message me happy birthday. :/ I can’t help think that since he hasn’t messaged me to chat at all. I always am the one that messages him first most of the time. I’m so lonely.

I hope my mood picks up before my Splatoon match. Hopefully dinner will also help since I haven’t eaten since this morning.

I decided to wait to look through totes for my missing game cartridges. It is still making me anxious and upset but I need to focus on what I can for this tbtwc
 
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It’s my birthday today and I’m looking back at the last few months with part of me wondering what there is to celebrate. I’m spending the day depressed instead of motivated to do anything and it’s largely because of what that one guy did to me. Like isn’t easy but I know I would be fine if all that hadn’t happened. Literally had trauma breakdown and got told it was a tantrum.

No wonder I always preferred my birthdays to be low-key.
 
I really want to participate more in this event, but I can’t. The way it is, I can basically only use my Switch on weekends. So it severely limits the time I can play. That sucks so hard because I really wanted to play, especially the Smash tournament, but… nope. I can’t. I can still watch them, or do the other activities, but it would be so much more fun to actually be able to participate myself.
 
I love my cousin's children, I truly do. Playing with them helps me relax and I genuinely enjoy it. I feel like the cool aunt even though I'm a completely different relative! They're 6, 8, 10, and 14. The younger three always want to hang out while the oldest understands I need some time to myself some days. The 10 year old tries to call me every hour on my off days. Even when I say I'm busy and I'll reach out later, she'll ask if I'm done yet and want to call as soon as I'm free. I need time to myself sometimes...to study, relax, etc. I'm not sure how to politely ask her and her younger brothers to stop pestering me every hour if I'm busy. They know I'll contact them when I'm free, still they ask. I get they're young and excited and I don't want to hurt their feelings. I don't want to ask my cousin to tell them either because then they'll think they're in trouble. It's just frustrating....
 
Looking back on some my posts on this thread from 2022 through early 2023
I should probably explain what actually happened.

Back in high school I was stalked by my high school classmates and they shared my accounts with each other to mass block. They’d take the posts I made about them and shared them with each other to laugh at. They’d message my online friends and message them with bad gossip about me. Knowing I was stalked for a year and a half along with a lot of nasty comments about my appearance and character and unsolicited photos really damaged me.

I developed really bad psychosis that lasted well after I graduated high school where I thought they were still stalking me on here and other forums and that they’d delete all my accounts. That and I thought I was running into them in public a lot and they’d make comments or laugh at me.

There was medication intervention and I was diagnosed with complex PTSD and put on the medication to ease the psychosis. I still get flashbacks and certain things like people who look like my bullies, certain forms of gossip, young adults carrying backpacks, and phones being pointed in my direction are all triggers. I had to drop a certain Netflix teen drama because it was a little too realistic with its cyber bullying.

Sometimes when I do online meetups with people I met on a local Discord server I have to comfort myself into accepting the fact that those people can’t hurt me anymore and that they aren’t in my life. I transferred from that high school almost five years ago and only really ran into one of them once since then. Most of them left the area we went to school at anyway since there isn’t much in the way of jobs, education, or affordable housing here so my chances of running into them are slim.
 
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