What's Bothering You?

My mom isn't feeling well today and idk it will pass or if I should worry. She had a hard time sitting up in bed and then she was kinda sad while I gave her her shower. She also had a hard time transferring to her wheelchair. I asked her if she feels sick and she said idk. I'll see how she is tomorrow but I told her if she feels anymore sick or becomes dizzy imma have to call 911. I can't put her on her stair lift if she's dizzy, it's too much risk which is why I'd need the ambulance people to help. Hopefully I'm just over thinking.
 
Shawna said:
my PC has been having issues, when I tried to start it up, it keeps freezing. I’m seeing if I can can get it sorted out on my own.
Click to expand...
so a bit of an update: I unplugged this one cord from my PC for a bit. Then I plugged it back in. Thankfully, this solved ONE (so far) of the freezing issues I was having: the regular one when you’re trying to start up your PC, and one where it is trying to load a factory reset/repair process, it was the latter.

So I’m in the process of doing a factory reset, it sucks how I’m gonna have to do a lot of re-downloading and re-logging into things (if it even works to begin with), but if it solves the issue, so be it. ^^
 
I forgot to submit my guess for Count Inside The Bottle, I thought about it yesterday before going to bed but was too sleepy so I thought I would do it today but got dragged out of the house and came back after the deadline 🫠 just needed one more ticket...
 
i feel like i am made to be there for everyone because then they'd "get sad if i wasn't talking to them" even though i'm deep in my head and am ready to give up at any moment. i have the bad habit of tending to everyone's needs before my own because i always think that they're more important. i dunno. crying is NOT helping and i'd love to scream in the middle of the woods, honestly. not sure what to do anymore.
 
I was feeling a little better than I was earlier but I’m just really sad now. Part of me is scared that I’m never going to hear from my best friend again, and the other part of me doesn’t want to hear from him yet since I know I’m just going to cry and get more sad and depressed that things has changed and that he can’t talk to me much anymore. I wish things could go back to s they used to be or I could have been different and someone more likable to him :/.

Sorry for posting again.
 
For the past few weeks, several companies that my Mum had dealt with have been phoning and asking to speak to her. I go silent for a few seconds nearly saying 'Mum, it's for you.' Then it dawns on me. 😢 All the important places know, but for instance when the opticians phone to remind her about an eye test, I say 'Sorry, she's not available at the minute. Can I take a message?'. I cannot bear to say those words even over 1 year and 10 months since my heart broke. If I have to, I find it really difficult and recently I can't get the image out of my head of her lying in that hospital bed, especially since I had to attend the same hospital last week for an Ultrasound.
 
Some of you may know that for many years my brother and I didn't get on well at all. However, last September my Dad told him that if he didn't start being nicer to me he would need to leave. All I wanted was him not to shout, not to call me every name under the sun and throw things and shout when he got up into his room. Remember that he's 43! Even to the extent my Dad made him book a viewing for a flat. Everything had been going well, until this evening. I asked him a simple question in a nice manner, as I believe if you want to be treated with respect treat others with it. However, he started giving me abuse and shouting at me again. 😒 I asked him in front of my Dad as before my brother has said I've antagonized him and that's why he's shouted at me. Thankfully, without even asking my Dad stepped in and told him he's a step closer to leaving again. I don't want him to leave, but I can't cope with walking on eggshells again with him.
UPDATE: He's just brought his dishes for me to clean and my Dad had dropped a cooling pad he's got for his hip. Instead of waiting and letting me pick it up, he just kicked it across the hall. What an idiot. 😩
 
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I've waited till I calmed down a bit to post, but I'm still feeling like crap. I had another breakdown in front of my family, this time with my grandma included. It was for a pretty trivial reason, too; My grandma started asking me questions about college. I felt a little pressured, but I would've been fine if my step-mom wasn't making rude comments every time I said something. ("You're lying/making excuses", "that's why you've been doing nothing all summer", "thanks for wasting my time and money", etc.)

I guess telling my family that I wasn't going to college this semester was a shock. It's also the first time I told them how I truly felt, that I only applied because I felt pressured to by them/my school even though I wasn't ready. Now I'm scared that I disappointed my family and that they won't ever be proud of me. There was so much more I wanted to say, but I bit my tongue; Not like they ever cared to listen or understand.

I wish I wasn't so ****ing sensitive. I hate my emotional vulnerability.
 
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