What's Bothering You?

I'm flying overseas for the first time in 2 weeks. It's going to be a 6+ hour flight.

I think that the closer I get, the more dread I feel for it.

There's no particular reason why I feel nervous. That's just how anxiety is.

Maybe my brain isn't comprehending what being that high up will feel like. I've only been overseas in a boat.

It might just be a big nothing burger too. I might get up there and enjoy it. Who knows. (Ay, I'm sure not living up my username, huh).
 
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I hate even-numbered years. Why, exactly? The non-stop political ads that are run on TV and the radio. The frequency gets worse the closer to election day you get. These ads make me want to take a hammer to my TV because of how negative they can be. Oh, and don't forget the political texts you get on your phone that seemingly come from a different phone number every time. I've basically forced myself to pay for a premium auto-text blocker just so I don't have to see them.
 
lowkey hate when I wake up at 5:30 in the morning and can't go back to sleep lol. but at least I'm not so tired that I feel like a zombie. maybe I'll go get an iced coffee and a doughnut.
update on this, I was awake for like two and a half hours and then I took a short nap and now I feel better 💗

also, minor bother, but I think I might need to go through my art tread and re-upload a bunch of my drawings on there. the images hosted by ImgBB keep breaking for seemingly no reason and it's really annoying. I can't even see my most recent drawing from a few weeks ago, and I tried to upload recent files I made and they wouldn't show up at all, not even with a broken image picture. it just sucks because I really don't like editing older posts because of the timestamp, but I don't have a choice if I want my images to show up in my art gallery.
 
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Please never feel as if you can't vent here, that's what it's here for! You can write as much or as little as you want. I think I can safely say that people do care about you, here and in real life as others have probably felt the way you have at some point in their lives and can sympathise with you. No-one can ask anything else of you when you are trying your best. 🫂
 
These may seem silly, overthought, or read into too much, but here are some things on my mind/going on lately:

* My dad still plans on getting a dog once my grandparents' dog has passed. If you are wondering why my grandparents' dog passing matters, it is because my grandparents keep bring THEIR dog over here monthly JUST because my grandma gets monthly haircuts in a town a couple hours from here (I know, it's stupid), and my grandparents cannot be bothered to find another pet-sitter. He knows it can be disastrous to get a dog with this bull**** happening. I told my dad I was fine with him getting a dog later on, as long as it is when I am living on my own (granted, it could be a while - it may be a decade or two, until that happens, but still). But he then tells me is will probably get one while I am still here. He knows damn well I am uncomfortable around dogs. But my dad is insisting on getting one a lot sooner. He keeps going on and off about his decision. He is a bit of a dog-nutter, and I kinda understand one of the reasons he wants one (it can bark when someone is at the door), but at the same time, I think it is in my dad's best interest to not, even excluding me. He is a bit of a neat freak and plans to travel a bit in his life (especially when he retires), so I just so not think it is a good idea. I have already made it clear to him I want nothing to do with a dog, as there are people pet owners who like to travel, so they made their pets another person's problem (I am not talking about anyone here, mainly just my dog-nutter family members).

* My dad plans to go out to California in four years for the Olympics. I brought up not wanting to go, because I hate major vacations with a fiery burning passion. Then he told my brother that I can stay here and "take care of the house"....I do not know what he means by this... ._. It will be in four years; I will be more independent, but I still worry about his expectations then. Also, this goes back to my first point, but I am hoping my dad will not get a dog before than, because then I fear he will make it my problem, like when I stay him for things him and my brother go do.

* My dad plans on inviting one of my brother's friends over here for lunch, since he still be near the area. It may seem stupid, but the thought makes me feel uncomfortable and even left out. As for the "uncomfortable" part, dealing with chaos and being expected to act a certain way.

My dad gripes at me, because I do not like "inconvenience", but I cannot help having a low tolerance when it comes to certain things. Do not get me wrong, I do love him, but we clash. Severely. I really am yearning for the day I can live on my own, so I do not have to worry about this stuff anymore...or at least not as much. I do NOT plan to cut my family out of my life once I am living on my own, but I think it could be wise to distance myself a bit.

Edit: I should have edited this way earlier, but thankfully, my brother’s friend never came over that day. I still dread the day of it happening unless They’re just going to a sporting event together with mine and my brother’s dad. >_<
 
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I’m really depressed; I just took my medicine so it should kick in eventually.If I didn’t have things to do for the event still, I’d just want to go back to sleep. I hate today :/. Trying not to think about my friend.

I took a look at the Brick program that a friend saw was available on the iphone, but I have no idea what to do and with two drawings I’m working on, don’t think I’ll have time to figure it out. Considering buying a classic set of random pieces even though I already spent about $100 on the event.

Sorry for being annoying about event stuff again. I’m really having a lot of fun and love it; I’m just a bit stressed.
 
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So the main worry I have, is my youngest which I think has cat/chin acne and he keeps scratching and theres bad patches with no fur. I am HOPING I get some sort of money from UC, so I could use that to take him to the vets.
But I am hoping it sorta goes away on its own?
He still hasnt been done since I haven't had time to save for it, or for the injections. Why is money such a hassle.
 
god I feel so sick. I've been excited for this fair for months and now I can't even enjoy it because of how awful I feel. I've been trying to participate still regardless, but I feel so terrible that I don't even really want to. I can hardly hear out of either of my ears, I'm so fatigued and nauseous, I sound like I've smoked a pack of cigarettes every day for the past 22 years, my throat is killing me, and my period, my ibs and this **** ass humidity are not helping. My parents are also both sick, and they're both immunocompromised, so I am : ))) extremely not happy.

also my under eye keeps twitching???? I'm going to go insane
 
I'm really struggling with the fact that my social skills suck and my ability to read other people sucks. I just wish I could understand things people say and do better. I cannot read between the lines. I can't understand things from very few words, or actions for that matter. I'm just tired.
 
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